In my world (back when I drank) everything I did centered around a drink. At the end I needed to crack a beer just to get in the shower to get to work. Addiction is the scariest place anyone could be in -- however, the alocholic is the last to know their an alcoholic.

Hopefully by the Grace of God he discovers AA.

but Jayne it truly shows the type of person you are to know you can overcome the drug and move on to a better life


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JAYNE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I couldn't even get his own family to help me out with intervention! Really, it's a wonder the man is still walking the earth for as much as he drinks and the length of time he's been drinking!

Jayne...may I ask, (and if you miss to answer by email, that is ok also)...what was the bottom for you? What happened to make you want to seek AA and a better life for yourself?

Chuck it's been 16 yrs since my last drink; but sometimes the old tapes run wild in my head. Since I lost my job the thought has occurred to me to just say f*ck it. But there is fire deep inside me (it's a little dim right now) that keeps telling me doors will open soon and that the God I believe in hasn't brought me this far to drop me on my head now. So even though things suck, my faith and meetings give me hope. I just keep asking God to not let me do anything stupid today. Because the reality is I've seen too many people pick up over less than what I'm going through now. I choose not to drink.

I just told this story in the thread "has anyone ever gone to jail". It's a funny story, but not funny at the time.
I drank all the time; at work; in the car; anywhere. My bottome came 4 days before April 1, 1992. My friends (bikers) and I decided we wanted to go to New Jersey and see one of those jungle sharfi things. Me and a biker really love wild animals (into zoos and wild life shows etc.) He and I were always in trouble; very bad together. Well we decided we were going alone in this drive through safari -- we were alone. We managed to spot two baby monkeys that were unattended by their mothers. We opened the back door and lured them into the car with popcorn. Continued the safari and exited the park. When we got outside there was a SWAT team with guns draw waiting for us. They arrested both of us while pissing their pants. The officer in charge asked me -- "little lady please tell me that you didn't steal a monkey"? In my little voice and innocent face I said, "why no officer, we took two". We were cuffed and stuffed and brought to a jail in Trenton. I came out of the blackout on Monday morning on my way to arraignment. The zoo did not think this was funny. They wanted to press charges. But the judge saw something in me. My friend and I were charged with "Kidnapping and Endangering the Life of an Exotic Animal". I almost went to Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women. I am not jail material. The judge released me on bail to my family. Drank all the way home because I was now in DT's and in bad shape. That night I asked to be taken to detox and I've been sober ever since.

WOW! Thanks for sharing.

When I'm asked to share in my home group everyone asks for the monkey story. I can laugh about it now; but it wasn't too funny back then. I wasn't too hopeful when I went to AA. But those people had something that I wanted. I take no credit for my sobriety that comes from somewhere I can't even attempt to explain. My life is quite boring from the life I led back then. Clinically, I've died twice, and something or someone decided it wasn't my time. I guess in a way, I'm here for a reason although I don't have a clue as to what that reason is. I try to do the best I can with the cards I was dealt. Hell, I accept full responsibility for everything I've done while drunk (even if I was in a blackout most of the time -- the buck stops with me). I'm not ashamed of what I am; that's why I talk about my alcoholism so openly. You just never know who it's going to help. What was freely given to me I try to give it back.

When I went to that Alanon meeting, I was thinking it would be all about sharing stories. As soon as we got settled they told us "Don't ask any questions!" Then they all proceeded to read scriptures from the bible. NOT at all what I was expecting. I thought sharing stories, telling how alcohol has affected your life and how you've delt with it...not to say what worked for one would work for me...but to get support by sharing those stories...NOPE! Didn't happen. I think I stayed with him a year and a half after that. I decided I loved myself too much to waste away in his world. It was a struggle, but I did it!

There are AA meetings like that too. People in our situations need support not scripture. Don't get me wrong if you believe in a Higher Power that's good too, but not going to keep you sober alone. Same with Alanon it's supposed to be support. The Alanon meetings here in Yonkers are run the way the original founder started them. Bill Wilson founded AA and his wife Lois started Alanon. But ya know Cindy, meetings aren't for everyone. You were lucky because you had that inner strength to say when. It's a shame because without the drink he probably is a really good man.

my friends {{{Cindy}}} {{{Jayne}}} sorry I popped out but got tied up on the phone.

but i need to head off to sleep now

ladies thanks for the company today and good night

Had alcohol not been a part of our lives, we could/would have been something! We started 2 businesses from scratch, that could have done so much better...we had a ranch that has a lovely 107 yr. old home that we had such plans for. A lovely dream turned nightmare.

Good night (((((Chuck))))), sleep well!

Goodnight Caam

I'm so sorry Cindy. Dreams destroyed by alcohol. Thinking about the what if's -- it's so sad. We leave such wreckage -- but honey there is hope for him. All you can do is pray for him. This disease is cunning and it wants us dead. I'll pray for him and you hon.
Anytime you ever want to ask me a question please feel free to ask. Even if you want to talk I'm here. I hope this discussion has ruined your night and upset you.

Thanks for listening and sharing Jayne. That part of my life is over...I could never go back to him. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life...now if I can only find someone to share THAT with!

And you haven't ruined my night or upset me, (((((friend)))))).