My daughter is 12. We just lost a family member on Dec 7th. She was 13 and died due to Luekemia. Well, last night my daughter came home from her dad's, got in the shower, and I heard her sobbing. I asked her what was wrong and after some persistance she finally told me. She misses our Brittany. I hugged her, held her, and cired with her. What else is a parent to do? How can I make this easier on her? I told her it was okay to cry and miss her, it just means she loved her very much. Any ideas on how to help her?

she has to go through the grieving process. all you can do is be there for her and let her know it's ok to feel what she is

Oh man .. I am soooo sorry for the loss.... the only thing I can think of , being a parent and all, is to try and understand her , explain as best you can , and let her grieve the way she is doing it ... sounds like you are doing ALL the right things ... good luck

im so sorry for your loss. just a few weeks ago i lost a dear friend. all you can do is tell her that anytime she needs to talk or she feels so to just come and talk to you. she has to try and work through it on her own with a little bit of assistance. its hard bc when things like this happen it feels like there is no hope but just give her a little bit of time and watch over her and she will come around more and more.

when we lost my brother, my son went through a very hard time. The funeral parlor was actually a great resource for things to help my son. They have books and support groups. My son and I went to a group called "transitions". I'm not sure if it's just a local thing or nation wide. Call a funeral home and ask them for suggestions and also call her school guidance counselor. She's at a tough and impressionable age. How you handle it now will make all the difference in the world in her adult life. Good luck

I would say you done great,,, At that age you can't say much about the good time's they had????

I am again amazed at all the good advice everyone gives on this site! I am impressed with all of you! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Just give her the love and support she needs.
Talk to her and listen to her alot. She needs support big time.
Keep an eye on her though- this is tough for anyone let
alone a 13 year old. She may need grief counseling at some
point. There is a book called chicken soup- there are several
issues (some for just this). If she likes to read get her
one of those- it may help.

My prayers go out for her- for grief to be released soon
from her heart.

it's something we all have to go through. I lost my dad when I was 7. I never knew it was ok to grieve. I'm sure she knows you are there for her...just check in with her and if she wants to talk she will. just keep telling her it's ok to be sad or to remember happy times or whatever she is feeling

sorry to here that,just stay behind her, giver her a lot of love,nvr left her alone and try to counsel here.talk to her about karma about the law of universe.And rememeber that person is not dead untill forgotten. her sister is still looking her through stars and her blessings r with her..give her little time..

I am soory for your loss also. There is a book I gave my daugher to read and she understood what life and death was about. The book is by Maria Shriver and is called What's Heaven

If you go to church, they usually have brochures that have advice on how to talk about death with children.


I'm sorry for your loss.

As a soon to be mental health therapist, Soory to hear about your loss , you are doing the right thing by talking to her, holding her, and crying with her. Although, if you do have strong religion back ground, you can also tell your daughter Brittney is in heaven watching over her and she will always be with all yall. She will feel better in time, but if you feel she cannot doing well emotionally then seek help. Call your local school, church, mental health crisis stiablizing unit, or your private insurance company. Have a good day.

my mum and my son who was then 6 were very close, on the day she died we had just arrived at the hospital and was 5 miniutes too late...i took my son out side and we went to a quiet spot sat down and i explained that grandma had gone to the heaven with the angels and would he like to say goodbye and give her a wave, which he did, we talked about how she wasnt in pain anymore and would always watch over him, then we hugged and cried...it was hard but honesty letting them cry and been there when they need you to listen is all you can do

Good job mom
Keep doing what your doing.She will be fine,

I am so sorry for your loss. We sometimes program our kids to think that death is for old people only and unfortunately it comes to all of us. I think you did the right thing. Reassurance and support are probably what she needs. There is a great book by Jamie Lee Curtis called "Where do balloons go". I read it to my daughters and son when we lost a family member. It's just a little book but very inspirational. Keep hugging and loving her. Once again-I am so sorry.

So sorry for your loss and it is so hard at that age.

Some people plant trees or plants as a memorial to remember the person.

You could take her out to the cemetary and release balloons, I have heard that this makes some kids feel better. Some write letters to attach to the balloons, etc.

You could help her make a special scrapbook with pictures and other memories of her and their times together so she could get it out when she wanted to remember.

Maybe buy her a special cross necklace or other necklace, just special for Brittany, and she would feel closer to her when she wore it.

Counseling is a good idea too, if she is open to the idea, but if she is processing the loss okay without it she may not need the counseling. A youth group would be excellent if there is one available.

The books listed above sound good too. Good luck, again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Sounds like you handled the moment the right way. Kids tend to grieve in small segments so this might be one of several moments but try not to string them together by constantly asking her if she is thinking about it when her child's mind will naturally move on to other things.

Helping her feel that she has other friends by making a scrap book that includes the friend she lost plus friends she still has will most likely help her feel better.

I would avoid letting the love you have for her get lost in oversized memorial efforts for the one who has passed.

I often wonder if the extream attention surrounding the loss of young family memebers doesn't send a dangerous message to the living that death is heroic or unavoidable contributing to suicide or at least self destuctive behavior.

I would also make an effort to get it across to her that even with the genetic issue of being a family member you have done everything to keep her safe and healthy. The American Cancer Society has excellent materials for surviors.

i would suggest watching for signs of depression

and rebellious behavior after this incident

hopefully it will not develop

but keep an eye open for unusual changes in her being

Support your daughter, and allow her to process... death of someone the same age, when just becoming aware of her own presence in the world, is huge, and ADJ4U, is very astute, at reminding you about the potential for depression...

Seek advice from grief counsellors who work with young people...