Ok, its a little long...but I wanted to spill the full scenario so
there'll be no question about direction for advice. To anyone with any
good common sense or meaningful words I can use some assistance. I have
a little problem:

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months now. He's in the NAVY,
living in VA and I'm in GA. He's down for the holiday, visiting with me
for a week, then we're drivin down to Savannah to meet his family. He's
a great person, very caring, very sweet, and should be all I want in a
man...but I feel more and more drawn away from him. I was single a while
before I met him so I'm used to having my freedom. I have a lot of male
friends who I can just chill with, maybe go out to lunch or for drinks
but it be nothing sexual-- at least not on my end-- but I've had to halt
that activity out of respect for my man. I feel obligated to tell him
alot, and I'm not use to that either. On top of that, since he's been
here the smallest things have been annoying the hell outta me-- well,
what should be small but have a big affect on me. The biggest problem,
though is I tell him I love him-- because I thought I did. But now, more
and more, I dont think I do. Actually I'm pretty sure I dont. I care
about him. Alot. Which's why I've spared hurting him with this truth
I've been consealing. He gives my massages, cooks me food, listens and
talks to me, doesn't mind doing things I want to do. But I'm just at a
stand-still because though I should be jumping for joy inside that I've
found a man most women envy, I'm secretly wanting my freedom. He came in
my life during a time that was very hard for me. I lost my mother in
September and deep down inside, more and more I think my close
attachness to him was to just fill this void of emptiness I felt at the
death of my mother. Saying I loved him was a new-found joy I was hoping
could replace the love I lost. But I cant continue to look in his eyes
and lie to him. Or pretend I want something I no longer do. I especially
dont want to meet his family he cant wait for me to be introduced to and
tell them yes, I still want to marry this guy. I just really think I
need to be single in this time in my life. Its a new year and I dont
want to start it with deception. What should I do: Wait for a spark to
come and hold on to this man who loves me? Or tell him I'd love to keep
in contact but need to back off a little from the "girlfriend" thing?
Helpful, honest advice is truly appreciated... Thanks, peoples. Happy
New Year

MAN....SOUNDS LIKE A REAL DELEMA...BUT YOU SHOULD BRING YOUR FEELINGS TO
LIGHT, BEFORE IT GOES WAY TO FAR AND BECOME MORE DIFFICULT LATER...

I was just in his situation and it really is simple. There's only one
answer. You have to tell him exactly what you wrote. You gotta hurt him
with the truth. Lying hurts SOOO MUCH MORE. I feel like I wasted so much
time and energy in my relationship when it was over for her 6 months
before we split. Ya it hurt alot to realize she didn't love me. You
question yourself alot. What did I do. But when that went away and i
realized we weren't meant to be I was just mad that she faked it for so
long. I felt so betrayed. Now it's hard for me to talk to her at all cuz
it feels like I don't even know her. I would have had alot of respect
for her if she spoke her mind, but she didn't. So the sooner you tell
him the better. If he's a great guy then he deserves the truth. He'll
appreciate it in the long run for sure. And he can move on with his life
and hopefully be happy. If it drags on there's just gonna be more pain.
I hope it works out for you. It's all about honesty.

Please tell him the truth and spare him a lot of hurt in the end.
Telling the truth is always the best thing to do. You will thank
yourself later.

been through the same thing. a lady lived with me for two years, said I
was the best thing that ever happened to her, we did sleep in seperate
bedrooms.no sex but we were talking marriage, then she went back to work
so she could be self supporting, at that point she moved and laughed at
me because I actually thought we could be a couple. turns out she was a
lezzie, moved in with another woman. it has been over a year now it
still hurts, tell the truth no matter what.

You can't lie to yourself or to him. you know whether or not you want
to be with him and if your questioning it then your not ready. You
can't force something to maybe happen, it just does. If you care for
him at all then you will just tell him the truth, because the longer you
wait the harder it gets.....

I agree with blodie!!! tell him the truth!!!

thanks everyone. I know what i have to do now...