Reply to an online matrimonial from a Pakistani man


Reply to an online Matrimonial from a Pakistani man:

Madam:

I am an young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a spoiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits.

I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb bells in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So, I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab.

ohh ohh ohh I will marry you

But first, please send a wire transfer to my ofshore bank account in US currency, specifically pennies. Lots and lots of pennies but they must all be stamped the year 1941.

Upon receipt of the money I will immediately contact you and tell you where to meet so we can be forever happily married.

Faithfully yours,
your bride to be