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| Topic: WHAT HE HOPES/IS AFRAID YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT SEX | |
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Kissing/Light Petting
What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless before your seductive ways!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "Garlic breath--ewwww!" Undressing What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!" Foreplay/Oral Sex What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your impressive manhood for hours." What he's afraid you're thinking: "If he doesn't warn me before he comes, I'm going to kill him." Penetration What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in half!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?" Your Orgasm What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this performance." What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's name here), yes!" Postcoital Bliss What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels like." What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my lesbian friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."  
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LMFAO,SERIOUSLY.I NEED SOME TISSUES.YOUR KILLING ME TONIGHT TOM
 
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Absolutely classic. I do deserve an academy award...
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