Topic: Hey Fella's...is it possible???
hikerchick's photo
Fri 03/14/08 11:58 PM

Hello Maggie,

This is a famous question posed in the movie "When Harry Met Sally". Can men and women just be friends and not interested in any more than that?

Yes, I think it's possible. I think first you need to tell us what you mean by a man friend? Do you mean a chat friend, a talking on the phone friend, a friend who visits you, a friend who does things with you, or something else?

I've had women friends who were just my friends. What I discovered was that once you're in a relationship the woman wants you to lose all of your women friends!! Women are suspicious and untrusting of any female friends the man had before the relationship. So if you find a man friend, just be prepared to lose him as a friend at some point because of a new woman in his life.

When it comes to women with weight problems, it's a real problem for women. While many men will accept a woman who has a few extra pounds, very few will accept a woman who is seriously overweight. It's not just because they think the weight is unattractive. It's also because of health problems. You mentioned your knee problems and I'll assume it's connected with the weight problem. I want a woman who can dance, go on hikes, and be active with me.

Yes, I think it's possible for you to find men friends who will chat with you, exchange emails, and talk with you on the phone. If you're restricted in what you can do it's going to be harder to find someone.

That's just one guys opinion but it probably reflects a lot of men's opinions.

D


Of course, there are no overweight men.

oldsage's photo
Sat 03/15/08 03:24 AM
Over weight men or women, it matters in how YOU present yourself. Over weight all my life, but never let it hold me back. I also don't wear tight clothes, or go around w/o a shirt. Guys are just as bad as ladies, dress to look decent & weight isn't noticed, as much.

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sat 03/15/08 04:07 AM
Not impossible, but yes,,, it is difficult!!
I am 51, in shape and don't look too bad for an old broad but I still find it very difficult to find that right man for me.

Don't give up,, when the time is right you will find each other. (at least that is what I keep hoping!!!)

Greyhound's photo
Sat 03/15/08 04:16 AM
Beauty comes in all sizesflowerforyou

hikerchick's photo
Sat 03/15/08 06:47 AM

Over weight men or women, it matters in how YOU present yourself. Over weight all my life, but never let it hold me back. I also don't wear tight clothes, or go around w/o a shirt. Guys are just as bad as ladies, dress to look decent & weight isn't noticed, as much.


I don't go around without a shirt, either!

Breezygirl10's photo
Sat 03/15/08 06:48 AM
It's all in the smile!... and you have a nice one!
Just know that you are the best you can be... it's not about age or weight... it's about confidence in yourself! Self confidence is SEXY!.... Good luck Kiddo! Happy trails to you!
happy

Breezygirl10's photo
Sat 03/15/08 06:50 AM


Over weight men or women, it matters in how YOU present yourself. Over weight all my life, but never let it hold me back. I also don't wear tight clothes, or go around w/o a shirt. Guys are just as bad as ladies, dress to look decent & weight isn't noticed, as much.


I don't go around without a shirt, either!

ME EITHER!LOL

hikerchick's photo
Sat 03/15/08 06:51 AM

Over weight men or women, it matters in how YOU present yourself. Over weight all my life, but never let it hold me back. I also don't wear tight clothes, or go around w/o a shirt. Guys are just as bad as ladies, dress to look decent & weight isn't noticed, as much.


yeah, but guys always picture women naked, don't they? blows that all to heck.

joycro53's photo
Sat 03/15/08 07:00 AM
I agree with you, it isn't easy to find someone.

oldsage's photo
Sat 03/15/08 09:16 AM
Tulsa, anybody that would call you an "old broad", needs their face slapped. Far as that goes, no lady should be spoke of in that manner. Bad manners are never allowed.
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou :wink:

HeSearches's photo
Sat 03/15/08 11:01 AM
To be honest, and I know you'll disagree, there seem to be a lot more heavy women than there are heavy men.

Then again, I'm not lookin for a guy to date! ohwell

monkdog8888's photo
Sat 03/15/08 11:10 AM

OMG,,I think 50 is the new 40, or whatever,,but one thing I will say, theres no way I think I don't have something to givehuh noway noway noway

Pshaaaaaaaaaaawwww,,to the "physical",,,what I have to offer is maturity and wisdom,,and the "means" to do it BETTER this time,,,

Question for me is, "is there a man who can keep up with me?"

By the way ((((sweatheart)))) you are a BEAUTIFUL womanflowerforyou


I don't think there is anyone at any age that can keep up you, Hun. :wink: smooched

yashafox_F4X1's photo
Sat 03/15/08 03:38 PM
I think you definitely have a chance as long as you're communicative and pleasant. Glad to hear you're working on your health issues. Let me or us know how it's going. It takes determination and time. Are you doing any swimming?

hikerchick's photo
Sat 03/15/08 03:42 PM

To be honest, and I know you'll disagree, there seem to be a lot more heavy women than there are heavy men.

Then again, I'm not lookin for a guy to date! ohwell


I don't know either because I judge a man by the content of his character and not by his belt size.

to each his own.

moman65672's photo
Sat 03/15/08 07:20 PM

Is it possible for a woman of 51 to find a man who is a real gentleman to have a friendship with? It could turn into something deeper couldn't it? What if she has issues with her knees and her weight? If she is losing weight and working out for her knees, is she doomed to being alone or is there still hope? Please let me know what you think. Thanks. Maggie



to be serious here yes it is possiable for you to find a friend and then maybe something more with your weight and knee problems. the only problem the guys that maybe attracted to you might not be the guys you have in your mind in meeting. They also may not be prefect. I notice alot of older ladys here on JSH prowling for younger well fit guys. good luck to them on finding anything close to a lasting relationship but I dont think thats what they are looking for anyway.

I dont think all guy are looking for young model type women they would be way too high maintance and hard to keep up with. Whats wrong with older women with a few extra pounds after all not all men in their 50s are perfect weight either. I go to the ymca gym 3 times a week to stay in shape and I see lot of older women that visit there too with the same idea and thats doing what keep your body healthy and that means exerise. Watching your diet is something you can also do to to help lose weight and get into better health.I know its not easy but I have taken my own advice and lost 75 pounds and feel much better. Im sure you would too and just feeling good about yourself would show in how you present yourself. The knee problems you proably cant do much about even if you have them replaced they will always slow you down a bit but Im sure the right guy wont let it stop him from wanting to be your best friend or more.

My last girlfiend had problems pretty much like yours but that isnt why we split up it was becasue of her family and they come as a package deal. so if you dont like them you have to face up to it. Everyone has a list what comes first to them for me the person Im living with comes number one.When I see a profile like my kids, my parents, my grandkids, my dog come first in my life thats a clear warning they dont have much room for you in their life.Who wants to be second best?

We all make our own choices if we want to live alone but that doesnt mean we have to be loney.Count your blessing for all the friends you have here on JSH. ♥ :smile:

pjdh1952's photo
Sun 03/16/08 10:16 PM
BonnersSweetheart, I checked out your profile and for you, I'd say your chances of finding a man is 100% !!flowerforyou
bigsmile

niceman5252's photo
Mon 03/31/08 01:23 PM
MAYBE HOPE

no photo
Mon 03/31/08 01:36 PM
Maggie....Sweet Maggie..... to help you take a different perspective, let me ask you as a man.... would you think there is a chance for a guy who has a few extra pounds, has hair that is turning grey, who is beginning to slump a little?
Oh how we focus on the physical way too much and not where the real beauty begins... in the heart.
I almost married a woman who was overweight, she insisted on getting one of those lap-band surgeries.... lost lots of weight, about 112 lbs. and then decided she looked too good for the likes of me... the guy who stood beside her in the tough times. NOt looking for pitty here... just trying to make a point sweetie....... real beauty comes from within. Chuck

hikerchick's photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:16 PM

Maggie....Sweet Maggie..... to help you take a different perspective, let me ask you as a man.... would you think there is a chance for a guy who has a few extra pounds, has hair that is turning grey, who is beginning to slump a little?
Oh how we focus on the physical way too much and not where the real beauty begins... in the heart.
I almost married a woman who was overweight, she insisted on getting one of those lap-band surgeries.... lost lots of weight, about 112 lbs. and then decided she looked too good for the likes of me... the guy who stood beside her in the tough times. NOt looking for pitty here... just trying to make a point sweetie....... real beauty comes from within. Chuck


Why Chuck - that was pure poetry.flowerforyou

moman65672's photo
Mon 03/31/08 03:24 PM


Maggie....Sweet Maggie..... to help you take a different perspective, let me ask you as a man.... would you think there is a chance for a guy who has a few extra pounds, has hair that is turning grey, who is beginning to slump a little?
Oh how we focus on the physical way too much and not where the real beauty begins... in the heart.
I almost married a woman who was overweight, she insisted on getting one of those lap-band surgeries.... lost lots of weight, about 112 lbs. and then decided she looked too good for the likes of me... the guy who stood beside her in the tough times. NOt looking for pitty here... just trying to make a point sweetie....... real beauty comes from within. Chuck


Why Chuck - that was pure poetry.flowerforyou
I bet you like the part were he got dumped. :wink: