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| Topic: woman pls answer this | |
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Edited by
OrangeCat
on
Fri 03/07/08 12:27 AM
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k pls woman explain this to me,and pls dont give me the same excuses I hear every time,I love him,I dont think I can find any thing better else,or I think I can change him, blah blah
I want a real answer most woman did u make a secret agreet that says he can beat u and u have to stay?? a good friend of mine is now dead,because she thought she could change her befriend who abused her,I stepped in 2 different times,even put him in the hospital one time,and got him put in jail the second time,but the 3rd time they were out of town where I could not do any thing,and he put her in a coma and after a week,she passed away. I aint looking for any I am sorrys or any thing else. alll I want is a real answer to why u all would prefer getting your azzes beat,over having a happy like with someone who really cares for u??? |
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I can't answer for every woman OC and no woman can.... We can only answer for ourselves.. I do not stay, would not, haven't and will not... but some must have a reason b/c I have some women I care very much about that did and the women that they are would not have done that unless it was for a very good reason... i.e the kids, actually believing he would hurt the kids or rest of their family... etc.
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One reason could be low self-esteem. Another could be fear.
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i've often wondered that same thing OC.i've heard alot of women say they are staying for their kids sake but do they not realize how much mental damage that is doing to their kids?.
trust me,it is doing more damage to the kids by them staying than it would if they grab their kids and left. |
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I can't answer for every woman OC and no woman can.... We can only answer for ourselves.. I do not stay, would not, haven't and will not... but some must have a reason b/c I have some women I care very much about that did and the women that they are would not have done that unless it was for a very good reason... i.e the kids, actually believing he would hurt the kids or rest of their family... etc. thank u Prncs  I understand and u are right,I just cant understand why,guese never will,yeah there might and might not be a good reason |
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i've often wondered that same thing OC.i've heard alot of women say they are staying for their kids sake but do they not realize how much mental damage that is doing to their kids?. trust me,it is doing more damage to the kids by them staying than it would if they grab their kids and left. hey there bro yeah u are right,they are doing damage to there kids |
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Quit saying "you all," damn it! We are not ALL like that... I certainly am not. I find it rather silly when any woman does stay with an abusive boyfriend or husband.
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hi orange this is a hard situation, but sometime a women loves a man that much she hopes she can change him, these men can make a women feel thay are worthless and useless they feel theres no alternative and are too dam scared of getting out and if kids are involved its worse, ive been there he hit me once , and once was enough i got out, and had support from my family, but i was also strong enough to realise i deserved better, but and this is a big but i still had feelings for this guy and it took along time to get him out of my system even though he did what he did, i am really sorry for what has happened hun and wish with all my heart this guy gets every digusting thing that can happen , happen to him...take care sweet
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One reason could be low self-esteem. Another could be fear. yeah fear and,lowself asteem are there,but when u have people there wanting to help u,there shouldnt be no reason to stay |
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That REALLY sucks about your friend. *hugs*
I've been in abusive relationships, and a lot of that was because I was raised in an abusive home. When you are used to something being given as an example, sometimes that's the only thing that feels normal. It doesn't mean you like to be abused. Some people are never able to break away from the victim mentality and they think it's all they deserve or that they're not strong enough to break away. Sometimes they just don't have the self-esteem to get away from it. It's a sad thing, but it's very typical of someone who has been abused in their early years. |
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my cousins husband used to abuse her until her brother found out about it and her husband woke up with a cocked 12 gauge shoved into his mouth.
it's been about 7 years since the last time he tried that crap with her.he's scared sh1tless of my family now |
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my cousins husband used to abuse her until her brother found out about it and her husband woke up with a cocked 12 gauge shoved into his mouth. it's been about 7 years since the last time he tried that crap with her.he's scared sh1tless of my family now he needs to be scared sh1tless |
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That REALLY sucks about your friend. *hugs* I've been in abusive relationships, and a lot of that was because I was raised in an abusive home. When you are used to something being given as an example, sometimes that's the only thing that feels normal. It doesn't mean you like to be abused. Some people are never able to break away from the victim mentality and they think it's all they deserve or that they're not strong enough to break away. Sometimes they just don't have the self-esteem to get away from it. It's a sad thing, but it's very typical of someone who has been abused in their early years. yes I can understand what u are saying,but when u have people that are doing nothing but trying ot get u out of it,I do not think there is no reason to stay |
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The abuse strips them of their self esteem and self confidence and they have been told they are worthless, will never be able to get a job or support themselves/kids and they stay for financial reasons.
Some stay out of just plain fear - he tells them he will kill them and the kids if they try to leave him. He may have killed one of the family pets in front of her to prove he is capable of this. Some get so beat down they just don't give a damn anymore and don't care if he kills them or not. Severe depression is very common in abusive situations. Abusers isolate their partners, chase off their friends, make them stay away from their families so they have no one to talk to, no outside support, no emotional support at all, he keeps them feeling totally helpless and dependent on him that way too. |
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my cousins husband used to abuse her until her brother found out about it and her husband woke up with a cocked 12 gauge shoved into his mouth. it's been about 7 years since the last time he tried that crap with her.he's scared sh1tless of my family now he needs to be scared sh1tless well my family is a little on the crazy side.anybody that marries into the family,we let them know we all own guns and aren't afraid to use them |
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((((OC)))) How are you sweetheart??
You already know basically my oppinion on this and you also know my situation from previouse, I did not stay I chose to leave because I was not going to allow my son to grow up in that inviornment and end up thinking it was ok to beat on woman. The sad thing is that sooo much more now we hear about it like it is the thing to do and I like you don't understand it!! I do know this though if I ever get with someone who feels the need to try and put his hands on me then he will be carrying his dyck in his hand and walking his ass to the Hospital, I am not playing that game anymore I refuse to, I am a good woman and I like every good woman deserve a decent man that doesn't believe in putting his hands on a woman or verbally and mentally abusing her as well!!  I U OC you are the greatest guy ever with the best heart and any woman would be lucky to have you as a thier man or a very good friend I know I am!! 
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The abuse strips them of their self esteem and self confidence and they have been told they are worthless, will never be able to get a job or support themselves/kids and they stay for financial reasons. Some stay out of just plain fear - he tells them he will kill them and the kids if they try to leave him. He may have killed one of the family pets in front of her to prove he is capable of this. Some get so beat down they just don't give a damn anymore and don't care if he kills them or not. Severe depression is very common in abusive situations. Abusers isolate their partners, chase off their friends, make them stay away from their families so they have no one to talk to, no outside support, no emotional support at all, he keeps them feeling totally helpless and dependent on him that way too. Great answer!!
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The abuse strips them of their self esteem and self confidence and they have been told they are worthless, will never be able to get a job or support themselves/kids and they stay for financial reasons. Some stay out of just plain fear - he tells them he will kill them and the kids if they try to leave him. He may have killed one of the family pets in front of her to prove he is capable of this. Some get so beat down they just don't give a damn anymore and don't care if he kills them or not. Severe depression is very common in abusive situations. Abusers isolate their partners, chase off their friends, make them stay away from their families so they have no one to talk to, no outside support, no emotional support at all, he keeps them feeling totally helpless and dependent on him that way too. yes good answer but guese I will never understand why,or guese its I dont see these as reasons to but its only me |
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((((OC)))) How are you sweetheart?? You already know basically my oppinion on this and you also know my situation from previouse, I did not stay I chose to leave because I was not going to allow my son to grow up in that inviornment and end up thinking it was ok to beat on woman. The sad thing is that sooo much more now we hear about it like it is the thing to do and I like you don't understand it!! I do know this though if I ever get with someone who feels the need to try and put his hands on me then he will be carrying his dyck in his hand and walking his ass to the Hospital, I am not playing that game anymore I refuse to, I am a good woman and I like every good woman deserve a decent man that doesn't believe in putting his hands on a woman or verbally and mentally abusing her as well!! I U OC you are the greatest guy ever with the best heart and any woman would be lucky to have you as a thier man or a very good friend I know I am!! ((((((jen))))))) loves u to sweetie thank u but I really aint I am just me and yes I know how u feel
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OC - unless you've been in the middle of it, been the victim, had guns and knives pulled on you, I guess you really can't understand the psychology of why the woman feels trapped and can't get up the nerve to leave or takes so long to finally leave. I was so stupid I took 10 years to get out, and he pulled a 10-gauge shotgun and 30.06 on me at different times. I am still not sure how I got my daughter and myself out alive. He kept threatening to come back and throw dynamite under the house and blow us up. He has been dead now for about 16 years and I still wake up when I hear a car door slam in the middle of the night. Old habits are hard to shake, I guess.
I wish every woman trapped in a domestic violence situation had a friend like you to help them out of it, there would be a lot fewer deaths due to the violence today. I am really sorry about your friend. |
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