I am a college student and I have lived in Oahu in Hawaii for 2 years now. I am graduating on March 28, and because of my Visa, I have to go back to Japan by April 3 or 4. About 2 months ago I met this boy coty who is in marine and two years younger than me. We have been hanging out frequently. I like him very much, and he likes me back. Yesterday, he came to my house to pick me up, and I was fine until he told me that he has to go to the big island Hawaii and train. I asked him when he is coming back, and he said he can come back by March 22 or 23. I know I have to go back to Japan anyway, but I was very sad when he told me I have to spend my 20 days here without him. Now I don't know what to do. I am scared of this relationship to be over.

Dang...Bummer

Sorry to hear that. I wish I had some advice but I don't.

enjoy or time left

20 days wow! if its over , then its over! all the worry in the world is not gonna change that!

Well you really have no choice. Gotta move on, life doesn't stop.

20 days will fly by....if your my age..but probably seems like forever at yours..he will be back in time before your visa is up..but don't jump into anything to try and stay..look into getting an extension on your visa while he is gone

I wish I could renew my visa, but I dont know how to and my parents are expecting me to come back... my life would suck without him :(

No it wouldn't, it's just your feeling and there is nothing wrong with that. Sorry to hear this but like someone said. make the best of the time you have left

I wasn't very sure if he really liked me, until I saw him cry last night. I kind of wish I never met him so I didn't have to feel like this...

well i'm thinking if he liked you that much he could have asked you to marry him and you could have stayed that way

Yeah.. but he is still 18.... :(

Isn't the jumping into it from just dating a little while? To many people get married for the wrong resons.


Manami don't be sorry you met him, who knows whats going to happen as time goes on and you have had the chance to experiences something that gave you joy that some of us are still looking for. I know it's hard but try to look at all the good things that came out of it.

I wish I could marry him though... I am so sure that he would be worth spending the rest of my life with :)

Yeah... maybe I am happy now.. even though I cry at the same time hehe thank you for your advice :)

I wish you the best in whatever you decide in your situation. These unrequitted love, separation, and sad broken heart stories hurt me. I never want anyone to be sad.

Oh boy. No easy answers here. There's a couple of courses of action you can take and I'll give you my advice. First, where I'm coming from. I'm a former US Army soldier so I know a bit about long distance relationships, cross cultural relationships and trying to keep in touch, etc.

Here's the thing: Long distance relationships are very hard to consumate and sustain over the long run. I'm not saying let it go, but I am saying, don't get too serious either. If I was you, I'd try to find someone local in Japan or wherever you're going to live. Correspond with the Marine and keep in touch by e-mail and such, but if you find someone else special, I wouldn't let the long distance relationship take priority. I'd come to an understanding with the Marine that your long distrance relationship is kind of unrealistic to maintain and make it clear to him that you will date and talk to other people, if you are just casual friends. If you're more than casual friends and you're serious about the Marine there may be another course of action you want to pursue, but my recommendation is to get less serious, see what develops, and if he stays devoted to you, maybe draw closer again. Cross cultural relationships are very hard to maintain. My step brother was married to a Japanese woman. Their tempraments were very different. He was outgoing and she was shy and the two personalities didn't make it past the maturity of their children. If you get serious, make sure that your family accepts him and his family and friends accept you. If they don't, it may be worthwhile to look elsewhere. Pray about it, ask for the Lord's guidance, walk in his ways and good luck to you. You sound like you have a University education and a good start in life, at any rate. Good luck to you.

Swing by my house first

I keep you company.

Ahh... the innocence and beauty of youth. Best case scenario? If things reeeeaaallly are that wonderful, you'll stay in touch, and things will happen the way you want. Worst case scenario... You'll have memories of a certain point in your life that you'll never forget.

Either way, life is what it is, and as un-emotional as that may sound, 'tis the way of love and life.

I fell in love with a young lady in Israel in 2001. The best 4 months I have ever had. But, I couldn't stay, and she couldn't leave. I've spoken to her a few times since then, but never seen her again. But, after that weird heavy feeling in your heart subsides, you'll realize it as a beautiful experience you can never let go of.

Now go drink Scotch.