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| Topic: Yet More reasons a beer is better than a woman | |
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Here's a few MORE reasons why a beer is better than a woman
A beer won't make you go to church. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose." A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers around. There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason number six. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute." If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson." A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are sh!theads. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt. A beer won't smoke in your car. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission. A beer will actually support belching and farting and share yer enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the 2008 Olympic Games in Bejing. A beer is always ready to leave on time. A beer never fishes for compliments. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits. Beer tastes good. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape." A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on yer VCR. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it. A beer won't think the Circle Jerks are gross just because they're called the Circle Jerks. (They are gross, but that's not why). A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy "just for the articles." (You are lying, but the beer won't accuse you of it). A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football League. A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse "but I saved a quarter!" A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie. A beer will never make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons. A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson." A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.  
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Now thats just offensive!!
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"There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason number six. "
I wonder who will get that... |
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I liked that one.
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