Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says :
"If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends"

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A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"
Santa wrote back,

"SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks:

"Do you know that the meaning of WIFE is:
W ithout
I nformation
F ighting
E very-time

Wife replies:
"No, it means:

W ith
I diot
F or
E ver !!!"

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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant
Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.

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A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

thought they were cute

good ones