Topic: Advice/Insight from Guys
PublicAnimalNo9's photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:23 PM
MARRIED!!!
Some other clues for the unintiated
If they don't wanna give their phone#...they're married, or living with someone.
If you can't nail them down to a time to meet, they're involved

I've seen way too many people on-line looking for that something that they are supposedly missing at home.

hikerchick's photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:34 PM



If they are local to you and not too much planning involved I'd say cut the correspondence time way down. And just go for it.


been there, done that - huge waste of my time.


And how is spending a month or two of corresponding only to have nothing to show for it, not a waste of your time???? huh huh huh huh huh huh huh I'm no genius but it seems to me that wasting a week is better than wasting two months, no???? Or am I missing something??


no - but corresponding online is easy..I am at my computer anyway..I don't have to put aside a time,get dressed, drive somewhere only to meet someone who has no real interest in getting to know me. I can do this in my jammies; during my lunch break; while dinner is cooking, etc. I don't have to make a big production to write an email. It takes me a long time to figure out if someone is worth my time..I have to talk about a lot of different things over a long period of time. That's just me. EVeryone is different. But whenever I have run into these guys that can't be bothered talking via e-mail for any length of time and want to meet right away, they were basically looking for a hit and run. I am not about that.

WAM's photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:36 PM
It's hard for me to grasp the thrill of corresponding with someone (just chit-chat, no explicit stuff) for so long and then bailing when the prospect of talking/meeting comes up.

I guess there's all kinds...

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:42 PM




If they are local to you and not too much planning involved I'd say cut the correspondence time way down. And just go for it.


been there, done that - huge waste of my time.


And how is spending a month or two of corresponding only to have nothing to show for it, not a waste of your time???? huh huh huh huh huh huh huh I'm no genius but it seems to me that wasting a week is better than wasting two months, no???? Or am I missing something??


no - but corresponding online is easy..I am at my computer anyway..I don't have to put aside a time,get dressed, drive somewhere only to meet someone who has no real interest in getting to know me. I can do this in my jammies; during my lunch break; while dinner is cooking, etc. I don't have to make a big production to write an email. It takes me a long time to figure out if someone is worth my time..I have to talk about a lot of different things over a long period of time. That's just me. EVeryone is different. But whenever I have run into these guys that can't be bothered talking via e-mail for any length of time and want to meet right away, they were basically looking for a hit and run. I am not about that.



There are those who would say you can get to know each other better in the real world... I understand your experiences have been less than satisfying, but they are after all your experiences. Living life in your jammies is certainly your decision to make, but I for one would rather look someone in the eyes and see what's going on with them. JMO

hikerchick's photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:44 PM





If they are local to you and not too much planning involved I'd say cut the correspondence time way down. And just go for it.


been there, done that - huge waste of my time.


And how is spending a month or two of corresponding only to have nothing to show for it, not a waste of your time???? huh huh huh huh huh huh huh I'm no genius but it seems to me that wasting a week is better than wasting two months, no???? Or am I missing something??


no - but corresponding online is easy..I am at my computer anyway..I don't have to put aside a time,get dressed, drive somewhere only to meet someone who has no real interest in getting to know me. I can do this in my jammies; during my lunch break; while dinner is cooking, etc. I don't have to make a big production to write an email. It takes me a long time to figure out if someone is worth my time..I have to talk about a lot of different things over a long period of time. That's just me. EVeryone is different. But whenever I have run into these guys that can't be bothered talking via e-mail for any length of time and want to meet right away, they were basically looking for a hit and run. I am not about that.



There are those who would say you can get to know each other better in the real world... I understand your experiences have been less than satisfying, but they are after all your experiences. Living life in your jammies is certainly your decision to make, but I for one would rather look someone in the eyes and see what's going on with them. JMO


yep, like I said, we are all different. I don't live life in my jammies - I have very little free time..I work two jobs, I'm a single mom, and I am a graduate student. So I am very stingy about parceling out my free time. Someone kind of has to prove that they are worth it.

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:47 PM






If they are local to you and not too much planning involved I'd say cut the correspondence time way down. And just go for it.


been there, done that - huge waste of my time.


And how is spending a month or two of corresponding only to have nothing to show for it, not a waste of your time???? huh huh huh huh huh huh huh I'm no genius but it seems to me that wasting a week is better than wasting two months, no???? Or am I missing something??


no - but corresponding online is easy..I am at my computer anyway..I don't have to put aside a time,get dressed, drive somewhere only to meet someone who has no real interest in getting to know me. I can do this in my jammies; during my lunch break; while dinner is cooking, etc. I don't have to make a big production to write an email. It takes me a long time to figure out if someone is worth my time..I have to talk about a lot of different things over a long period of time. That's just me. EVeryone is different. But whenever I have run into these guys that can't be bothered talking via e-mail for any length of time and want to meet right away, they were basically looking for a hit and run. I am not about that.



There are those who would say you can get to know each other better in the real world... I understand your experiences have been less than satisfying, but they are after all your experiences. Living life in your jammies is certainly your decision to make, but I for one would rather look someone in the eyes and see what's going on with them. JMO


yep, like I said, we are all different. I don't live life in my jammies - I have very little free time..I work two jobs, I'm a single mom, and I am a graduate student. So I am very stingy about parceling out my free time. Someone kind of has to prove that they are worth it.


A reasonable approach. as you say, we are all differentdrinker

hikerchick's photo
Thu 02/28/08 08:48 PM







If they are local to you and not too much planning involved I'd say cut the correspondence time way down. And just go for it.


been there, done that - huge waste of my time.


And how is spending a month or two of corresponding only to have nothing to show for it, not a waste of your time???? huh huh huh huh huh huh huh I'm no genius but it seems to me that wasting a week is better than wasting two months, no???? Or am I missing something??


no - but corresponding online is easy..I am at my computer anyway..I don't have to put aside a time,get dressed, drive somewhere only to meet someone who has no real interest in getting to know me. I can do this in my jammies; during my lunch break; while dinner is cooking, etc. I don't have to make a big production to write an email. It takes me a long time to figure out if someone is worth my time..I have to talk about a lot of different things over a long period of time. That's just me. EVeryone is different. But whenever I have run into these guys that can't be bothered talking via e-mail for any length of time and want to meet right away, they were basically looking for a hit and run. I am not about that.



There are those who would say you can get to know each other better in the real world... I understand your experiences have been less than satisfying, but they are after all your experiences. Living life in your jammies is certainly your decision to make, but I for one would rather look someone in the eyes and see what's going on with them. JMO


yep, like I said, we are all different. I don't live life in my jammies - I have very little free time..I work two jobs, I'm a single mom, and I am a graduate student. So I am very stingy about parceling out my free time. Someone kind of has to prove that they are worth it.


A reasonable approach. as you say, we are all differentdrinker


I think if I had more free time, I would be more willing to spend it ..but right now, they get squeezed into my email box until they are worthy...laugh

I like talking to you..you can disagree without getting nasty. flowerforyou

AllenAqua's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:25 PM

I've been "talking" to some matches thru email (this site and other paid one). After corresponding for some time (1-2 months) when I broach the topic of talking or meeting, the communication comes to an abrupt halt. Why? Does this imply too much of a commitment? If we were to have met in person in the first place we may have already exchanged phone numbers or arranged another date. Is there some unwritten rule I violate when asking for a more personal sort of contact?



I also have issues with topic. I probably wouldn't, so much, if I didn't enjoy the forums and be exposed to a national membership like this site has, well...world wide, really...I guess...is it?

Anyways, my concerns about meeting people who live far away have to do with questions like ,What if we meet each other, hit it off, decide to keep talking as if we're going to do something drastic, like relocating away from family, friends & work and do all that without really having had the chance to ever know that person casually, without major life changes involved.
I'm still trying to reconcile all this before I dissapoint someone, or visa versa...ohwell

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:27 PM


I've been "talking" to some matches thru email (this site and other paid one). After corresponding for some time (1-2 months) when I broach the topic of talking or meeting, the communication comes to an abrupt halt. Why? Does this imply too much of a commitment? If we were to have met in person in the first place we may have already exchanged phone numbers or arranged another date. Is there some unwritten rule I violate when asking for a more personal sort of contact?



I also have issues with topic. I probably wouldn't, so much, if I didn't enjoy the forums and be exposed to a national membership like this site has, well...world wide, really...I guess...is it?

Anyways, my concerns about meeting people who live far away have to do with questions like ,What if we meet each other, hit it off, decide to keep talking as if we're going to do something drastic, like relocating away from family, friends & work and do all that without really having had the chance to ever know that person casually, without major life changes involved.
I'm still trying to reconcile all this before I dissapoint someone, or visa versa...ohwell
allen you can what if yourself to death!! I used to whatif all the time and it just made me crazy....laying awake at night......life is too short........go for it but dont be stupid.....flowerforyou

AllenAqua's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:32 PM



I've been "talking" to some matches thru email (this site and other paid one). After corresponding for some time (1-2 months) when I broach the topic of talking or meeting, the communication comes to an abrupt halt. Why? Does this imply too much of a commitment? If we were to have met in person in the first place we may have already exchanged phone numbers or arranged another date. Is there some unwritten rule I violate when asking for a more personal sort of contact?



I also have issues with topic. I probably wouldn't, so much, if I didn't enjoy the forums and be exposed to a national membership like this site has, well...world wide, really...I guess...is it?

Anyways, my concerns about meeting people who live far away have to do with questions like ,What if we meet each other, hit it off, decide to keep talking as if we're going to do something drastic, like relocating away from family, friends & work and do all that without really having had the chance to ever know that person casually, without major life changes involved.
I'm still trying to reconcile all this before I dissapoint someone, or visa versa...ohwell
allen you can what if yourself to death!! I used to whatif all the time and it just made me crazy....laying awake at night......life is too short........go for it but dont be stupid.....flowerforyou



That seems alot harder to accomplish than to say "Go for it but don't be stupid" ohwell

scotty1964's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:35 PM



I've been "talking" to some matches thru email (this site and other paid one). After corresponding for some time (1-2 months) when I broach the topic of talking or meeting, the communication comes to an abrupt halt. Why? Does this imply too much of a commitment? If we were to have met in person in the first place we may have already exchanged phone numbers or arranged another date. Is there some unwritten rule I violate when asking for a more personal sort of contact?



I also have issues with topic. I probably wouldn't, so much, if I didn't enjoy the forums and be exposed to a national membership like this site has, well...world wide, really...I guess...is it?

Anyways, my concerns about meeting people who live far away have to do with questions like ,What if we meet each other, hit it off, decide to keep talking as if we're going to do something drastic, like relocating away from family, friends & work and do all that without really having had the chance to ever know that person casually, without major life changes involved.
I'm still trying to reconcile all this before I dissapoint someone, or visa versa...ohwell
allen you can what if yourself to death!! I used to whatif all the time and it just made me crazy....laying awake at night......life is too short........go for it but dont be stupid.....flowerforyou

if I lived close enough I would meet them for sure:wink: and for gypsy i would travel the 2000 or whatever miles to meet herlaugh laugh :cry: smokin

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:35 PM
Well be smart about it.....weigh the pros and cons....why are you worrying about a what if???? Is there someone you are interested in??? Is she far away???? Do the normal thing and meet and see what happens......if you like each other alot then do the long distance thing for awhile and then if you cant live without each other then one of you move.....flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:36 PM




I've been "talking" to some matches thru email (this site and other paid one). After corresponding for some time (1-2 months) when I broach the topic of talking or meeting, the communication comes to an abrupt halt. Why? Does this imply too much of a commitment? If we were to have met in person in the first place we may have already exchanged phone numbers or arranged another date. Is there some unwritten rule I violate when asking for a more personal sort of contact?



I also have issues with topic. I probably wouldn't, so much, if I didn't enjoy the forums and be exposed to a national membership like this site has, well...world wide, really...I guess...is it?

Anyways, my concerns about meeting people who live far away have to do with questions like ,What if we meet each other, hit it off, decide to keep talking as if we're going to do something drastic, like relocating away from family, friends & work and do all that without really having had the chance to ever know that person casually, without major life changes involved.
I'm still trying to reconcile all this before I dissapoint someone, or visa versa...ohwell
allen you can what if yourself to death!! I used to whatif all the time and it just made me crazy....laying awake at night......life is too short........go for it but dont be stupid.....flowerforyou

if I lived close enough I would meet them for sure:wink: and for gypsy i would travel the 2000 or whatever miles to meet herlaugh laugh :cry: smokin
lol I dont think its 2000 miles laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:36 PM
thats really sweet of you shazzam!!!bigsmile

scotty1964's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:38 PM

thats really sweet of you shazzam!!!bigsmile

you werent supposed to see thatlaugh laugh blushing blushing

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:39 PM
Edited by Gypsy41 on Thu 02/28/08 09:39 PM
<------sees all!!!glasses laugh

AllenAqua's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:41 PM
Yeah..I agree... Gypsy's a dolllove ...she went STRAIGHT to my favorites list...no questions asked...lolblushing :tongue:

no photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:43 PM

Yeah..I agree... Gypsy's a dolllove ...she went STRAIGHT to my favorites list...no questions asked...lolblushing :tongue:
when are you coming over???:wink: laugh laugh laugh

AllenAqua's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:44 PM
I LOVE B.C. ! One of my very favorite places on the planet.:wink:

scotty1964's photo
Thu 02/28/08 09:44 PM
grumble grumble mad