So how does one know when they have given sufficient time to see if that someone is who you are looking for? We talked on the phone for weeks, hours at a time. Seemed to hit it off. Upon meeting, he was wearing jeans so tight that he had an hourglass figure, a mooseknuckle the size of 2 grapefruits, and huge gold rings adorning his hands. Feeling shallow for being embarassed, continued seeing him, giving plenty of gentle hints, then just coming right out and saying something. There were other things that began to become apparent over time, that were not originally there. (jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, constant reference to the ex wife, remaining pics of the ex on the walls of his home)He described himself as having traits, interests matched things that I was looking for. In reality, he wanted to be like this but never had. In his defense, he really was the nicest guy I have ever met, just sheltered, living in a time warp, and not very open to suggestions.
When I broke it off, I was made to feel on the one hand, that I had not given it a chance and on the other, that I had given it too long. We saw each other on weekends, lived 2 hours apart, and so 4 months did not seem too long. He had told me that he had few second dates previous to me, so I thought he deserved a chance.
That's my question. How long is too long or not long enough?

He was wearing " Nut Huggers " ..

The issue here is that yes, it is a riot that he refused to see things any other way but in the world he must've lived in, wherever that was... The world is a harsh place, but if he is dressing in a manner that is displeasing, and tight clothes are displeasing, then he was asking for some sort of comments. We all get it, good or bad. We all do. Kudos to you for trying. I know appearances aren't everything, but they are something. From all that you've said, his outward appearances, in fashion styles, matched his inward perceptions. That can be the case many times.