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| Topic: long-distance relationships... | |
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i think it can work as long as you don't get burnt out....
One far away means you don't have to always worry about your next date....you see each other once in a great while & in the meantime get to enjoy your freedom & alone time....Life is great!!! |
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(((bluesky))) how are you love
 i think it can work as long as you don't get burnt out.... One far away means you don't have to always worry about your next date....you see each other once in a great while & in the meantime get to enjoy your freedom & alone time....Life is great!!! |
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More than a few threads on this. And most people agree that most people don't agree on the issue at all. I couldnt have said it better Well then .. you didn't now did you? 
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I know a handful of folks who have made them work, but in general, I'd have to say it is extremely difficult to keep it going for very long.
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Here's the deal- Do long-distance relationships actually work? Are they actually worth the trouble? Do they actually result in anything worthwhile? Or just end up in heartbreak and crap? Inquiring minds wanna know. But since I'm the one who asked the question, you're gonna have to deal with me, instead. They work for some people, and we have some instances of that right on this site. I think that's a great thing, and I wish them luck. For myself, they don't work, and I would never even think of trying another LDR. In my experience, the L and the D stand for lying and dishonesty. |
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Here's the deal- Do long-distance relationships actually work? Are they actually worth the trouble? Do they actually result in anything worthwhile? Or just end up in heartbreak and crap? Inquiring minds wanna know. But since I'm the one who asked the question, you're gonna have to deal with me, instead. Long distance can work, but it takes commitment on both parts, and the willingness to overcome all obstacles.. if only one of the two is willing, then it won't work, both have to really want it.. |
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I dunno...I agree with 2Btrue
I am just a Hopeless romantic what do I know. |
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I know a handful of folks who have made them work, but in general, I'd have to say it is extremely difficult to keep it going for very long. I agree with you, one has to also keep in mind that if you are in a londistance relationship, and is has been growing for a while, eventually some life changing decisions will have to be made, one of the major decisions being who is going to relocate.. a lot has to be discussed, and agreed upon.. |
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Long distance relationships can work. It's hard, and it's rare, but it's possible. I think they just take a lot of trust and patience.
Then there's also the possibility that even after all the waiting and trusting, you'll finally get it all together, move in, just to discover that what you thought was so great from so far away is actually very annoying and less endearing in person. |
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Edited by
Goofball73
on
Wed 02/27/08 07:38 AM
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Here's the deal- Do long-distance relationships actually work? Are they actually worth the trouble? Do they actually result in anything worthwhile? Or just end up in heartbreak and crap? Inquiring minds wanna know. But since I'm the one who asked the question, you're gonna have to deal with me, instead. Someone stated that people just can't agree on this issue. But, I will add to this since I am currently going through this. Maybe this will help some people who are in an LDR or are contemplating it. In January, I drove six hours to meet someone that I met on JSH. We had talked for over a good solid month and both of us were excited about meeting one another. My expectations going into this were one of two things. (1) She and I would meet, have a good time, and either decide to be friends or we could decide to go slow and possibly see one another about once a month or so. Or (2) we would really hit it off and something would develop. I get there and from the moment we saw one another we just started to click. In fact, the whole weekend was just crazy awesome. I could not believe we hit it off the way we did. Two weeks later, I went down to see her for another weekend. We talked every night on the phone and computer before I got there, and we both knew it was going to be a great second weekend together. It wasn't great......it was freaking awesome! From that point on, both of us realized something special was happening. I went to see her again for another weekend visit and the same result....only better...we just fit together. It's crazy and all, and most people would think we are crazy, but when you meet someone and you feel the way we do about each other, you just know it. You feel it deep within you. And that is the greatest thing. What's not so great is the distance. The way I feel about her, and how she feels about me, both of us agree that the distance flat out sucks. But we made a pact....an agreement. We would not let distance keep us from making this work until I can get there to her. I will be making the move. We had even talked about it way before we even met in person. She could not leave where she is and I understood that. I made the choice that if we hit it off so well, I would move. The weekends we have are nice. Hell, they are flat out awesome. But being with her all the time is what I want...and she wants the very same thing. We miss each other, but the way we look at it is that us having to fight for this will make us appreciate what we are building together. Getting all upset and depressed about distance does not help. Both of us have dealt with that, and I am sure it will come up within us some more. But you just work through it. You have to see the final goal...which is finally being with that person you are fighting so hard to be with. The negatives about an LDR are documented. And they are tough to deal with. But, if you and that person work together, and both of you truly want it to work....I believe anything is possible. I know this will work out. I have faith and belief that it will. Doesn't mean that everyone can do it. Some people just do not want to fight for something...even love. Which, is sad cause in today's world, we all want convenience. I will admit that I do wish we were closer. But the fact is, we aren't. Our meeting was not by some freak of nature. The choices we made lead us to talking. Which lead us to meeting. Which has lead us to where we are now. Simply put.....I wouldn't change a thing. So my answer to this question. It can work....and it is worth it. |
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A six-hour drive is one thing... how about an LDR that's over a thousand miles apart? That's a rather difficult proposition no matter HOW you look at it.
I dunno... maybe I'm just being a pessimist or worse about this issue. It just sucks that you meet someone decent online, only to find out that she lives way out on the other side of the country. 
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Yes they can work. It's a little harder. A lot of trust, patience and faith involved. But if both are ready and willing to work at it they can work. Compromises are required, someone is going to have to move after all. I'll be leaving soon (FINALLY) to the other side of the planet to be with the one I want and who wants to be with me.
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Edited by
AllenAqua
on
Wed 02/27/08 03:55 PM
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A six-hour drive is one thing... how about an LDR that's over a thousand miles apart? That's a rather difficult proposition no matter HOW you look at it. I dunno... maybe I'm just being a pessimist or worse about this issue. It just sucks that you meet someone decent online, only to find out that she lives way out on the other side of the country. I have to agree with moofooga, sad but true... |
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A six-hour drive is one thing... how about an LDR that's over a thousand miles apart? That's a rather difficult proposition no matter HOW you look at it. I dunno... maybe I'm just being a pessimist or worse about this issue. It just sucks that you meet someone decent online, only to find out that she lives way out on the other side of the country. The LDR that TheCaptain and I are in, is one of 2,557 miles apart. As he posted on page one of this thread, we do everything we can to stay in touch with each other as if we lived only a few towns apart. We have our e-mails and our phone calls (thank goodness for cell phones with free long distance and free nights and weekends) and we mail each other little things to let the other know they were on our mind that day. It may not be as convenient as dropping something off on his doorstep but getting something in the mail is always exciting. When we do get to spend time with each other in person, we make the most of it and enjoy every second we have together, knowing that until I can get a transfer and sell my house, this is what we have to be content with. Idaho, beware!!! I am on my way!! 
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Here's the deal- Do long-distance relationships actually work? Are they actually worth the trouble? Do they actually result in anything worthwhile? Or just end up in heartbreak and crap? Inquiring minds wanna know. But since I'm the one who asked the question, you're gonna have to deal with me, instead. Someone stated that people just can't agree on this issue. But, I will add to this since I am currently going through this. Maybe this will help some people who are in an LDR or are contemplating it. In January, I drove six hours to meet someone that I met on JSH. We had talked for over a good solid month and both of us were excited about meeting one another. My expectations going into this were one of two things. (1) She and I would meet, have a good time, and either decide to be friends or we could decide to go slow and possibly see one another about once a month or so. Or (2) we would really hit it off and something would develop. I get there and from the moment we saw one another we just started to click. In fact, the whole weekend was just crazy awesome. I could not believe we hit it off the way we did. Two weeks later, I went down to see her for another weekend. We talked every night on the phone and computer before I got there, and we both knew it was going to be a great second weekend together. It wasn't great......it was freaking awesome! From that point on, both of us realized something special was happening. I went to see her again for another weekend visit and the same result....only better...we just fit together. It's crazy and all, and most people would think we are crazy, but when you meet someone and you feel the way we do about each other, you just know it. You feel it deep within you. And that is the greatest thing. What's not so great is the distance. The way I feel about her, and how she feels about me, both of us agree that the distance flat out sucks. But we made a pact....an agreement. We would not let distance keep us from making this work until I can get there to her. I will be making the move. We had even talked about it way before we even met in person. She could not leave where she is and I understood that. I made the choice that if we hit it off so well, I would move. The weekends we have are nice. Hell, they are flat out awesome. But being with her all the time is what I want...and she wants the very same thing. We miss each other, but the way we look at it is that us having to fight for this will make us appreciate what we are building together. Getting all upset and depressed about distance does not help. Both of us have dealt with that, and I am sure it will come up within us some more. But you just work through it. You have to see the final goal...which is finally being with that person you are fighting so hard to be with. The negatives about an LDR are documented. And they are tough to deal with. But, if you and that person work together, and both of you truly want it to work....I believe anything is possible. I know this will work out. I have faith and belief that it will. Doesn't mean that everyone can do it. Some people just do not want to fight for something...even love. Which, is sad cause in today's world, we all want convenience. I will admit that I do wish we were closer. But the fact is, we aren't. Our meeting was not by some freak of nature. The choices we made lead us to talking. Which lead us to meeting. Which has lead us to where we are now. Simply put.....I wouldn't change a thing. So my answer to this question. It can work....and it is worth it. 
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