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| Topic: ~ SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS ~ | |
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Below I share an article that I recently read... I was very surprised by some of the questions that it really would make a LOT of sense discussing with someone you are looking to be in a committed relationship with. Hope you find it informative and helpful
~ * ~ SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS ~ * ~ Questions, Questions and More Questions by Michael Webb (http://www.50secrets.com) Many of you are probably aware that in many countries the bride and groom don't really know each other before they get married. Well, that actually happens in every country. I've known men and women who "dated" for 3, 6 or even 12 months who were surprised at who the person they married really was. A woman told me that after she was married for a couple of months she found out her husband hated kids. A man wrote to me to say that he discovered several years into his marriage that his wife had been in prison. Other men and women have been shocked to learn what their mate thought about sex, religion, careers, household work, money and the future. In fact, many of these differences have been what have led couples to divorce court. I believe a lot fewer couples would get divorced if they actually knew each other before they got married (or even afterwards). The best way to really know someone is with questions. Here are just a few questions to get you started. These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. Hundreds more questions need to be asked to really know the person you love. They are from the book 1000 Questions for Couples......... What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close? Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner? What does my family do that annoys you? If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be? (Assuming there is no one in the house at the time of the fire.) When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time? Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches? What makes you feel secure and safe? Which do you think should have the final say in decisions - logic or emotions? Why? What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of? If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her? Over the last five years how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better? On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why? Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart? What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changed since then? If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change? Are you currently comfortable with your body? If not, what would you change to make you comfortable? What do you think are your optimum hours of sleep to be fully energized? If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be? Is there anyone you would be willing to die for? If your dear friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, would you do so? How would you feel about your mate doing so? What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous? Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with? If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle? Would it make any difference if only one of you worked? What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing? Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? What steps do you need to take to achieve these goals? Which family members should we buy birthday or special holidays gifts for (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.)? If you had to pick a different city to live in with your sweetheart and proximity to family and friends didn't matter, which city would it be? If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn't work for an entire year, what would you most like to do? If someone wanted to give you a $50 gift certificate to use on yourself, which store/theatre/spa would you tell him or her you wanted it from? How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year? |
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TO much info overload loverload
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I need glasses now
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Michael Webb, the author of that article, has no bliss in his life.
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Do we have to answer all of them?
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I feel like I learned something
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How many of us are going to put that in our profiles?
Some good questions there... I agree if we knew each other better- it would deffinately help the relationship... Unbelieveable the things couples don't know about each other! (((LightVoice)))
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There isn't gonna be a test is there? I hate tests.
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good idea, could really help people out. all the same i'm with Jistme, no test.
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What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close? A 'debrief' dinner once aweek... a shared meal, prepared by both, of good fresh healthy foods, served alfresco on the deck, after the kids have gone to bed... candles, shared pleasant music, and the space to talk. To discuss anything, everything, the week past, the week ahead, potential challenges... Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner? No... I need to SEE, feel 'I love You...often. What does my family do that annoys you? Nothing, they are them, and I am me. It's in the differences, comes the most opportunity for growth through understanding. If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? Find safe temprorary accomodation for my kids and i, then look at the resources available to me, to create a more permanent situation. If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be? (Assuming there is no one in the house at the time of the fire.) Photos, paperwork, first aid kit. When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time? Leave me be... and just wander past from time to time to see if I need anything. Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches? Derr!!! hahaha...calm and consistent. What makes you feel secure and safe? I do. Which do you think should have the final say in decisions - logic or emotions? Both parties. Why? Because I own my emotions, and my partner owns his. And logic is a collation of experiences, combined, they can be limitless. What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of? Parenting, parenting, parenting, letting go, and arriving. If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her? How would I react? Hmm, possibly disappointed, but calm. Disappointed, only because I have a strong code of ethics, and an acceptance that people seek out others, to 'fill up' from their own insecurities. What's to forgive, it isn't about me, it's about them... and I would support my partners strengths not his weaknesses. Over the last five years how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better? I am much more authentically me, raw and real... I speak my truth. On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? It depends on the situation within any topic... it can be from gardening, natural health, relationships with children, legal, love, surfing, small motors, environmantal issues.... too narrow a question.. If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? None everything is exactly as it is supposed to be, and I have learnt everything I am supposed to learn from every part of my life. Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart? I prefer heart...always. What first attracted you to me? Rational, logical, calm, no ego emotional guff...truth. How has that one attraction changed since then? It hasn't. If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change? It wouldn't, qualities I seek are internal not external. Are you currently comfortable with your body? Yep. What do you think are your optimum hours of sleep to be fully energized? More than three. If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be? Camping on Musgrave Island..alone... the whole island ours. Is there anyone you would be willing to die for? My kids, in a heartbeat, if it was to enhance or protect, their lives. If your dear friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, would you do so? Yes, and also surrogate. How would you feel about your mate doing so? His choice entirely, and I would respect it. What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous? Too easy. Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with? I believe when the student is ready the teacher will arrive, and partners are no different... the man that I am committed to, would have been way too much for me, 20 years ago. If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle? A car is a means of A to B... what the outside looks like means nothing to me. Would it make any difference if only one of you worked? Nope. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing? Trust. Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? Nope, am doing it on a daily basis... I live in THIS moment... so no regrets. If you had to pick a different city to live in with your sweetheart and proximity to family and friends didn't matter, which city would it be? None. If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn't work for an entire year, what would you most like to do? What I do now. Community service, volunteer, garden, surf, play with my kids, and dog. If someone wanted to give you a $50 gift certificate to use on yourself, which store/theatre/spa would you tell him or her you wanted it from? Australian Geographic. How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year? Indifferent, we do it all the time. |
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Below I share an article that I recently read... I was very surprised by some of the questions that it really would make a LOT of sense discussing with someone you are looking to be in a committed relationship with. Hope you find it informative and helpful
~ * ~ SECRETS OF BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIPS ~ * ~ Questions, Questions and More Questions by Michael Webb (http://www.50secrets.com) Many of you are probably aware that in many countries the bride and groom don't really know each other before they get married. Well, that actually happens in every country. I've known men and women who "dated" for 3, 6 or even 12 months who were surprised at who the person they married really was. A woman told me that after she was married for a couple of months she found out her husband hated kids. A man wrote to me to say that he discovered several years into his marriage that his wife had been in prison. Other men and women have been shocked to learn what their mate thought about sex, religion, careers, household work, money and the future. In fact, many of these differences have been what have led couples to divorce court. I believe a lot fewer couples would get divorced if they actually knew each other before they got married (or even afterwards). The best way to really know someone is with questions. Here are just a few questions to get you started. These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. Hundreds more questions need to be asked to really know the person you love. They are from the book 1000 Questions for Couples......... What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close? Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner? What does my family do that annoys you? If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be? (Assuming there is no one in the house at the time of the fire.) When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time? Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches? What makes you feel secure and safe? Which do you think should have the final say in decisions - logic or emotions? Why? What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of? If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her? Over the last five years how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better? On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why? Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart? What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changed since then? If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change? Are you currently comfortable with your body? If not, what would you change to make you comfortable? What do you think are your optimum hours of sleep to be fully energized? If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be? Is there anyone you would be willing to die for? If your dear friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, would you do so? How would you feel about your mate doing so? What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous? Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with? If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle? Would it make any difference if only one of you worked? What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing? Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? What steps do you need to take to achieve these goals? Which family members should we buy birthday or special holidays gifts for (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.)? If you had to pick a different city to live in with your sweetheart and proximity to family and friends didn't matter, which city would it be? If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn't work for an entire year, what would you most like to do? If someone wanted to give you a $50 gift certificate to use on yourself, which store/theatre/spa would you tell him or her you wanted it from? How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year? you forgot the number one thing guaranteed to help a relationship. alcohol. lots of it. |
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What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close? A 'debrief' dinner once aweek... a shared meal, prepared by both, of good fresh healthy foods, served alfresco on the deck, after the kids have gone to bed... candles, shared pleasant music, and the space to talk. To discuss anything, everything, the week past, the week ahead, potential challenges... Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner? No... I need to SEE, feel 'I love You...often. What does my family do that annoys you? Nothing, they are them, and I am me. It's in the differences, comes the most opportunity for growth through understanding. If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? Find safe temprorary accomodation for my kids and i, then look at the resources available to me, to create a more permanent situation. If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be? (Assuming there is no one in the house at the time of the fire.) Photos, paperwork, first aid kit. When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time? Leave me be... and just wander past from time to time to see if I need anything. Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches? Derr!!! hahaha...calm and consistent. What makes you feel secure and safe? I do. Which do you think should have the final say in decisions - logic or emotions? Both parties. Why? Because I own my emotions, and my partner owns his. And logic is a collation of experiences, combined, they can be limitless. What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of? Parenting, parenting, parenting, letting go, and arriving. If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her? How would I react? Hmm, possibly disappointed, but calm. Disappointed, only because I have a strong code of ethics, and an acceptance that people seek out others, to 'fill up' from their own insecurities. What's to forgive, it isn't about me, it's about them... and I would support my partners strengths not his weaknesses. Over the last five years how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better? I am much more authentically me, raw and real... I speak my truth. On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? It depends on the situation within any topic... it can be from gardening, natural health, relationships with children, legal, love, surfing, small motors, environmantal issues.... too narrow a question.. If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? None everything is exactly as it is supposed to be, and I have learnt everything I am supposed to learn from every part of my life. Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart? I prefer heart...always. What first attracted you to me? Rational, logical, calm, no ego emotional guff...truth. How has that one attraction changed since then? It hasn't. If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change? It wouldn't, qualities I seek are internal not external. Are you currently comfortable with your body? Yep. What do you think are your optimum hours of sleep to be fully energized? More than three. If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be? Camping on Musgrave Island..alone... the whole island ours. Is there anyone you would be willing to die for? My kids, in a heartbeat, if it was to enhance or protect, their lives. If your dear friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, would you do so? Yes, and also surrogate. How would you feel about your mate doing so? His choice entirely, and I would respect it. What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous? Too easy. Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with? I believe when the student is ready the teacher will arrive, and partners are no different... the man that I am committed to, would have been way too much for me, 20 years ago. If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle? A car is a means of A to B... what the outside looks like means nothing to me. Would it make any difference if only one of you worked? Nope. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing? Trust. Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? Nope, am doing it on a daily basis... I live in THIS moment... so no regrets. If you had to pick a different city to live in with your sweetheart and proximity to family and friends didn't matter, which city would it be? None. If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn't work for an entire year, what would you most like to do? What I do now. Community service, volunteer, garden, surf, play with my kids, and dog. If someone wanted to give you a $50 gift certificate to use on yourself, which store/theatre/spa would you tell him or her you wanted it from? Australian Geographic. How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year? Indifferent, we do it all the time.  Nice to see you back Jess...
and GREAT answers ,,,mine would be real close...
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Hi Terry.
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Hi Terry.
HEY,,,,,I think your tail has gotten longer,
Have you measured it lately??? lol  
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What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close? I’m not into ‘rituals’ per say, but I would be open to discussing the possibilities of a structured relationship. Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner? Actions speak louder than words. What does my family do that annoys you? I have no family, and would prefer a partner who isn’t heavily involved with hers. If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? Rebuild it. I built this one. If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be? (Assuming there is no one in the house at the time of the fire.) My wallet (mainly for the I.D. cards), and all four of my computer towers. That’s five things but I never listen to people who have limitations. When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time? I don’t need to be pampered, but it would be nice to have someone to keep the fire going. I’d do the same for her. Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches? Definitely laid-back and calm. I have no need for hysteria in my life. What makes you feel secure and safe? I always feel secure and safe. Which do you think should have the final say in decisions - logic or emotions? Why? I don’t divide myself up into pieces, thank you. What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of? Nothing. If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her? It’s extremely unlikely that I would become involved with the type of person who would have an affair. However, if that happened I would probably ask her to move out since she would clearly be dishonest and unable to communicate. Over the last five years how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better? Better or worse with respect to what? On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? I don’t give advice. I offer ‘food for thought’. Do with it what you will. If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why? I wouldn’t want to live any year of my life over gain without changing it. Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart? I hate money. What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changed since then? Can’t answer this without a specific partner in mind. But without a doubt it would be personality, because without personality I wouldn’t even be involved in the first place. If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change? I would probably be thinking in terms of seeking a K9. Are you currently comfortable with your body? If not, what would you change to make you comfortable? My body’s just fine, thank you. What do you think are your optimum hours of sleep to be fully energized? I’m suffer from unpredictable fatigue, so even I don’t know the answer to that question at any given moment. If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be? Home. Actually that would depend on my partner, I have no desire to go anywhere.
Is there anyone you would be willing to die for? I would be willing to die for a lot of people. In fact, if you know someone who would benefit from my death let me know, maybe we can arrange something. If your dear friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, would you do so? No. I purposefully didn’t not procreate because I do not want my genes passed on, so I’m not about to give them to someone else. How would you feel about your mate doing so? What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous? My mate would be free to do whatever she wants with her genetic material. That’s entirely her decision not mine. Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with? There are many. I’m certain of it. If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle? Would it make any difference if only one of you worked? I honestly don’t care. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing? Hate. Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? What steps do you need to take to achieve these goals? No. I’ve already done everything I need to do. However, since that can be dependent on the current relationship that could change if I had a mate, which I don’t currently have. Which family members should we buy birthday or special holidays gifts for (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.)? That all depends on the relationships. I don’t do things out of mere social expectation. I don’t thinks from the heart. If you get a gift from me it’s because I wanted to give you something, not because I felt I had to. If you had to pick a different city to live in with your sweetheart and proximity to family and friends didn't matter, which city would it be? I’m a mountain man, I avoid cities like the plague. If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn't work for an entire year, what would you most like to do? Learn to play the violin, piano, guitar, flute, clarinet, trumpet, and cello. I know this because I already did it. But that was only because I didn’t have a mate and had to find something to do. If someone wanted to give you a $50 gift certificate to use on yourself, which store/theatre/spa would you tell him or her you wanted it from? My favorite restaurant. How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year? They wouldn’t want to live here,… trust me. |
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