I'll nix my last remark Ontario

Hi S&M ;-)

Personally I have never been married but you asked so here is my two
cents worth.

First off is the last question, Sex is as important to one partner as it
is to the other because since two people decided to get married they
have BOTH made that choice. If one partner is dissatisfied then
inevitably issues will arise that make it the other partner’s problem.

Once a couple enters into marriage they owe it to each other to keep the
flame burning because that is what the vows were all about! Whatever it
takes to keep it burning! Do something, anything even if it’s wrong….

I’ve seen so many relationships dissolve (lol…Friends call my place the
Divorce Shelter because I’ve had three people pass through as they 1st
become separated in the past few years) and to me most relationships go
too long. Once kids are involved there is a duality in the relationship
and raising the kids becomes more important than the original
relationship (but one should nurture the other: Damn, I feel gay for
even using that word..lol). However, once the home life becomes a verbal
battlefield, with constant agreeing, and the abuse is unhealthier for
the children to live in that environment than it is to raise kids in a
split single parent arrangement: That is the time to go your separate
ways

Most people try to keep the marriage together “For the Kids” but a lot
of times I feel it’s worse on the Kids to keep the degenerative
relationship forced together because it shows children how NOT to live;
when they are doomed to fall into that very relationship themselves
(because that’s all they know). Once a healthy home life cannot be
maintained get the F**k out “For the Kids”!!!

But maybe I'm just a little Old Fashioned when it comes to marriage....

Nix your last remark....why.....?

I THINK THAT IF THE TWO HAVE THIS HAPPEN TO THEM THEN ONE OF THEM OR
BOTH WERE NOT 'REALLY' IN-LOVE TO BEGIN WITH...
I THINK AND KNOW THIS WITH ME ANYWAY AND MY EX.....
WE ALWAYS HAD GREAT SEX, FOR 15 YEARS,,,,,,,,NOW WE ARNT
ANYTHING SPECIAL,,WE JUST NEVER LOST THAT FIRST PASSION THAT WE
STARTED WITH...
NOW MY LAST GIRLFRIEND OF 7 YEARS, FLAT ASS TOLD ME THAT ---
OH ,ALL COUPLES FEEL THAT WAY AT FIRST BUT THEN IT
CHANGES????WTF......SO IN HER MIND, I WAS NOT FREASH AND NEW TO HER
ANYMORE AND SHE HAD LOST THAT FIRST PASSION...SO THAT IS WHY SHE
CHEATED ON ME....

I am not any expert on this but I would say that you are correct that
the desire for sexual content tends to go by the waistside. However if
there is true love there I believe that you can live monogamous. If I
believed otherwise I would not be able to explain some of the older
people I have met who are physically incappable of having sex as men. I
think that while sex is exciting it is not required in a relationship
that has true love of both people. I also believe that most people that
go out and cheat on their mates do it for two reasons typically. They
do it either out of lust or out of not having their fantasies and
desires fulfilled by the one they love. I have seen relationships of
two people torn apart when one of the people involved expressed a
fantasy to their mate and their mate was too closed minded to take part
in it or felt strongly enough against it that they decided to use that
to hurt the one they said they loved.

ALOT OF YOUNG COUPLES I THINK, CAN BELIEVE THERE IN LOVE JUST BECAUSE
THEIR SEX IS OUT OF THIS WORLD....
THEN MARRY AND FIND OUT A YEAR LATER THAT IT DID NOT STAY AL THAT,,,SO
THEY DON'T SEEK TO TALK ABOUT IT OR EXPLORE CHANGES IN THEIR SEX
PRATICES SO THEY JUST TURN AWAY,,,,,
MY GF,,,,WAS NEVER REALLY IN-LOVE WITH ME, I JUST KEPT TRYING TO
MAKE THAT HAPPEN, AND NOW I'VE LOST SOME YEARS THAT I CAN'T GET BACK,
ALL BECAUSE OF CONVIENCE AND SETTLING FOR -OK- NOT GREAT.
SO THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE WITH DIFF. PERSONILITIES????

SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

8---- + (!)

So you see...!!!

"Ask and you shall receive!" =)

That happens in any relationship, but that does not mean that the love
is dead,,,the reason why we need to have a good friends relationship
wirh our partner is because when something like this happens in the
marriage, then the friendship kicks in
and the passion will come back, it depends on how much you love your
partner,
one thing that worked for me, was planning a romatic trip, and go to
victoria secret and hooke it up girl,,,then show him what you got, and
just learn some new tricks to make it interesting,
I was married for 7 years and it ended when he died,,,,
shange of scene, and new underwhere with new tricks always work with a
man, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol,lol,lol

ONLY IF THAT MAN STILL HAS PASSIONS FOR HER, I COULD WRITE YA
A BOOK ON GIRLS STORY'S,,,,,,,TOLD TO ME..LOL

Or...be cheap and stay naked....just learn how to cook more then one
dish....and serve it naked, wearing high heeled, toeless shoes....!

I think after nearly ten years of not having any sexual interest in your
spouse it would be damn near impossible to bring the heat back. If the
woman is holding out to that degree than I can only guess she's been
wounded and possibly defeated emotionaly. She may be totally turned off
by him. The marriage turns into a cold war. I am of the belief that men
typically express themselves emotionaly within their relationships
through sex, which in of itself isn't bad but is often misinterpreted by
women because we need words and relating. Obviously there is a huge
breakdown to not want to share sexually with each other.

Well, let me ask you gentlemen this, when in a relationship are you more
apt to express yourselves emotionally through sex, than say through
talking?

For me both....also in deeds....like dining out, or cooking, and
gifts....not so much personal things...but like a set of tires if her
car needs them....stuff like that....!

Ok I will jump on this one.

10 years ago my hubby got fixed (you know..snip snip)Ever since then our
sex life went down hill. In the pass 4 years there has been NONE.

After sitting down and talking, we decided on a seperation. Through the
years we had become friends more than lovers. I am sorry to tell you
all but women do need sex also. To me it shows how much the man feels
for ya.

I would find out just what happened after she had that baby. Maybe she
lost her libido, or she does not feel sexy anymore. Or something could
of happened during the delivery.

T

Holy crap, the LAST thing I want to hear about would be a SEXLESS
marriage!!!! IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE THE BEST PART OF BEING MARRIED!!

WB gf... *S*

well i was married for 13years and was just as turned on by my wife when
we seperated as the night we first hooked up! didn't matter that she'd
gained weight,had kids,it was the person inside that turned me on so
much!that and the fact that i truly loved her! hell if i think about her
long i still get turned on! excuse me i'll be back in a little while!

Maybe....but for some its a nightmare with sharp teeth....!

stan, that was so sweet and TOOOOO FUNNY!!!

Different strokes for different folks.Some are happy like that.Both must
feel the same.If not you need to try a real concelar.Wish you well.It
will not be fast or easy.