Topic: odd days...odd life | |
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Odd posting
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what r the odds
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Personally I feel the odds are astronomical !
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Oddly enough............
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hola amigo
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.................... And how the hey ya been doing man?? |
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13's odd and my fav and lucky number!
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Are you coming back?
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Are you coming back? im here |
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.................... And how the hey ya been doing man?? i've been odd |
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Are you coming back? im here How ya been?? Havn't talked with ya for a while... |
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i still dont have internet in my pc
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odd man out
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(((TLW)))
Oddly its nice to see you! |
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Oddly enough there be skunks under me house. They have a rather ODD odor too! HELP...!
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(((teddy)))
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oddly enough
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Odd & Interesting Quotes & Sayings!
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. -- Roseanne Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. -- Unknown Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. -- Franklin P. Jones A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life...It goes on. -- Robert Frost I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. -- Jackie Mason I get paid weekly. Very Weekly! -- Anonymous I have everything I had 20 years ago, only it's all a little bit lower. -- Gypsy Rose Lee Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. -- Oscar Levant Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -- Jennifer Unlimited Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. -- Mark Twain Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. -- W. C. Fields I have everything I had twenty years ago - except that it is now all lower. -- Gypsy Rose Lee The longer I live, the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. -- George Bernard Shaw Youth had been a habit of hers for so long that she could not part with it. -- Rudyard Kipling Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. --F. P. Jones Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. --Billy Rose I can resist everything except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde A rich man's joke is always funny. -- Proverb I am not young enough to know everything. -- James M. Barrie I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. -- Mark Twain My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -- Erica Jong The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. -- Unknown "Time is a fixed income and, as with any income, the real problem facing most of us is how to live successfully within our daily allotment." -- Margaret B. Johnstone I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Jennifer Unlimited Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. -- Mae West He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. -- Lao Tsu You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look. -- Sir Seymour Hicks If you want to be happy, be. -- Henry David Thorreau Time draweth wrinkles in a fair face, but addeth fresh colors to a fast friend. -- John Lyle The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men. -- Colleen McCullough I don't date women my age. There aren't any. -- Milton Berle The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." -- CalvinTrillin If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body...then only left-handed people are in their right minds. -- Anonymous Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods. -- Albert Einstein We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. -- Albert Einstein I may be left-handed, but I'm always Right! -- Anonymous Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -- Phyllis Diller A half truth, masquerading as a whole truth, is a totally false truth. -- Anonymous Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most . . . -- Anonymous Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. -- Fred Astaire Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come. -- Lucy Larcom There are so many things about which some old man ought to tell one while one is little; for when one is grown one would know them as a matter of course. -- Rainer Maria Rilke It is better to wear out than to rust out. -- Bishop Richard Cumberland It takes a long time to grow young. -- Pablo Picasso Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. -- Anonymous The secret to eternal youth is arrested development. -- Alice Roosevelt Longworth There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. -- George Santayana When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished a how much he had learned in seven years. -- Mark Twain No one over thirty-five is worth meeting who has not something to teach us, something more than we could learn by ourselves, from a book. -- Cyril Connolly Time draweth wrinkles in a fair face, but addeth fresh colors to a fast friend. -- John Lyle Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which strengthens with the setting sun of life. -- Jean De La Fontaine A friendship counting nearly forty years is the finest kind of shade-tree I know. -- James Russell Lowell We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same. -- Jonathan Swift To see a young couple loving each other is no wonder, but to see an old couple loving each other is the best sight of all. -- William Makepeace Thackeray At twenty-one, so many things appear solid, permanent, untenable. -- Orson Welles Old age is not for sissies. -- Malcolm Forbes Health food may be good for the conscience, but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better. -- Robert Redford Don't take life so seriously; it's not permanent. -- Unknown They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. -- Malcolm Cowley When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. -- Mark Twain You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. -- Sam Levenson I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require so much cooking. -- Carrie Snow The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. -- Unknown If at first you don't succeed, try again. then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. -- w.c. Fields One man's sunset is another man's dawn. -- Fievel Mouskawitz All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. -- Unknown The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a woman like a book, your library card has expired. -- Unknown The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through congress. -- Unknown As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns; the less and less we feel our oats and the more we feel our corns. -- Unknown Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac. -- Unknown Lord, if you won't make me skinny, please make all my friends fat! The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. -- Mark Russell It's had to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. -- Anonymous In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. -- Charlie Brown Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -- Lily Tomlin There's too much blood in my caffeine system. -- Unknown Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. -- Unknown God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever. -- Unknown My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. -- Errol Flynn It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt, and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. -- Rodney Dangerfield The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. -- Unknown It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. -- Abraham Lincoln The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. -- T. S. Eliot Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities. -- Frank Lloyd Wright Don't confuse me with the facts. I've got a closed mind. - Earl Landgrebe When you come to a fork in the road, take it. -- Yogi Berra A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. -- Unknown Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths? -- Unknown When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents. -- Blair Sabol If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will. -- Unknown Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. -- Charles Schultz I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. -- Ed Bluestone There is more to life than increasing its speed. -- Mahatma Gandhi The wind of one door closing opens another. -- Unknown Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it? -- Unknown If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. -- Jim Eason I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turned out I was just really bored. -- Wayne's World Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -- Caryn Leschen Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. - Rose Franken The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason I'm on a seefood diet. I see food and I eat it. -- Unknown If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. -- Mae West As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. -- Unknown Always look out for #1 and be careful not to step in #2. -- Unknown Integrity is one of several paths; it distinguishes itself from the others because it is the right path and the only one upon which you will never get lost. -- Unknown The truth is the same from any angle. -- Unknown The stories that you tell about your past shape your future. -- Eric Ransdell What is the use of lying when the truth, well distributed, serves the same purpose. -- Unknown Enough white lies lead up to manipulation. -- Unknown Deceit feeding on ignorance weaves carelessly around the truth, twisting its prey down a path to destined regret. -- Unknown Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. -- Winston Churchill But the beauty is in the walking -- we are betrayed by destinations. -- Gwynn Thomas (Welsh Writer) Time is everyone's enemy. -- Unknown If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? -- Will Rogers You've got to sing like you don't need the money love like you've never been hurt dance, dance dance, like nobody's watching it's got to come from the heart, if you want it to work. -- Susannah Clark Return to List Strange Advertisements ~ For Sale By Owner. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows *!%# ...... everything! Free puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel & 1/2 Sneak Neighbor's Dog Bill's Septic Cleaning. We haul American made products! 1 man/7 women hot tub - $850/offer Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed. Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days. Free puppies. Part German Shepherd/part stupid dog. 83 Toyota Hunchback $2000 Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto, Exc.Cond $6,800 Full sized mattress. 20 yr warranty. Like new, slight urine smell. Free - 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 BR 2 Bath Home For Sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50 Nordic Track $300. Hardly used. Call Chubbie Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 yrs. old. Unpleasant little dog. Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300 Hummels. Largest selection ever. If it's in stock, we have it! Harrisburg postal employees gun club Georgia peaches California grown - 89 cents lb. Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once - slightly stained Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour. Exercise equipment: queen size mattress and box springs - $175 Our sofa seats the whole mob and it's mad of 100% Italian leather Found: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be reward. Lawyer says client is not that guilty Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember. Ground Beast: 99 cents lb. Open House. Body Shapers Toning Salon - Free Coffee and Donuts Fully cooked boneless smoked man -$2.09 lb. Return to List Country Western Song Titles Get Your Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns In Bed Get Your Tongue Out'a My Mouth Cause I'm Kissin' You Goodbye Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me? Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling Got In At 2 With a 10, and Woke Up At 10 With A 2 Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal Keep Forgettin', I Forgot About You Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well Still Miss You Baby, But My Aims Gettin' Better Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over You. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him Please Bypass This Heart She Got The Ring and I Got the Finger You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly Return to List Definitions AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater FRUST (frust) n The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. VEGETARIAN an Indian word meaning lousy hunter |
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