yay.

if you want the original formatting(which i cant post here), send me a message and ill get you hooked up.

~~~

this.

this is not for you.

or you.

or.
you.

this is for me.

this is for me.

i
dont even think that

understand
mis-
must
understand!

standing livid and little

sanded sarcasm
strut meaning away
day by day

and what it is yet that
i dont understand
still plagues my lips
and my brain
and my brains lips (shivershiver; oh, its notsocold notany
more) is that i still

still OH SO HATE
the conventional.

you, well,
you cant hide.

i can see it.
i WILL see it. i cant hide what
you hide anymore


you arent the convention.


youve got something that even you dont see(nono notyet) something that
i want to be mine-

no,
nono-
ours.

sometimes

i dont want to be what i am
sometimes i want to be more and
those times are when i feel sunskin
in the cold
feel smiles on my back
lighter in my strut
sighs that arent heavy

sometimes i

feel like tomorrow might not be worse
when i know it will be(after all, the drive home just makes me look forward to
the feeling i got and will get
on the passage there
to you)

i tell souls not to worry
soulsfull
of dread, of the streetlight simplicity
of nine to five.

so. no.

enough of this soulfuldread
morethanme
sandy shine
sampsonite shut
story-

im sick of the ending i know will come that never does.

i dont do this for you.
i
dont
do this for you.

i do this for ME.

if you met me
two years ago
you wouldnt know me, cause,
well,
i didnt.


you...
you, ugh.

okay.

i know nothing of horizons or
new beginnings, the times that ive
seen them have been misunderstood until
it is too muchtoolate

and, yet, i remember this one-

i was nervous. you probably couldnt tell, but it was there.

i was nervous since we first talked.

why? because i was ****ING TERRIFIED.

i AM ****ing terrified.

i dont like hope. i dont like thinking that
there actually is someone out there understanding of me in that silent way.
something in someone that can feel me
comeandgo
feel my climaxes and syncopations

step beat to beat
subverting every attempt i take
to keep things the same

heh, and the best part?

i...well,
i could feel myself getting used to this.

so please,
when the road lengthens
when its straight and wide
twists and cul-de-sacs
come, when
it drops suddenly
sullenly sanguine

just remember.

this- all of this-

it is all for you.

Brillant!

beautiful write...you seem to suffer so for what you seek. why is it what we find so amazing to us comes with all kinds of twists, turns and changing stories?

thanks gals.

nice write

great ramble. funny and ironic and full of voice. yours. thanks