I am reading a book called "The Game, penetrating the secret society of pickup artists." by Neil Strauss, New York Times Bestselling author.

I am on chapter ten.

So far, my impression of the characters in the book, (the pickup artists) are that they are pretty pathetic dweebs.

Yes their tactics seem to work. Yes they can teach a shy guy some canned techniques on how to approach a woman and talk. But thinking of a woman as a "target" or "a conquest" of a pickup game creates an unreal world of shallow men; -- and women who are seen as "prey."

It might be a good book for women to read just to make them aware of some of these tactics. It might be a good book for men to read too if they are not good in social interactions.

But in the end everyone just needs to grow up and get over their fear of rejection.

Jeanniebean

easier said than done sometimes

I think it takes the ability to be detached from the outcome. If you put all your eggs in one basket, that is, if you are fixated on one person, your fear of rejection is very substantial.

The Pick up artists have to see a number of targets, not just one. Their objective is to get laid by the most beautiful woman they can find, or whatever is available. They are prepared for failure as they learn the techniques. They keep a score. How many women have you had sex with. That is their score.

Men want the same thing women do basically. But men are wired to always be distracted by the need for sex. They would be better people if it were not for this programing. They don't grow out of it usually. That is why viagra and other drugs like that are so popular.

Jeanniebean

i strongly disagree with you


i think the puckup artists is a group of men who apparenlty have taken 'what works' and broke it down for the 'common' guy to use...


and i think you're reading wayyyy too much into it personally

Well I think each person should be looked at individually, but basically I am talking about the type of pick up artists that this particular book describes. Their objective is to perfect the technique, and get the girl. They don't necessarily want to keep her, they just want another score. I am not judging this behavior as wrong or bad, I think men need to practice practice practice. But one day they are going to want to be themselves and if they don't out grow need the to pick up a different girl all the time, they will end up alone. The up side is that they might have a lot of interesting memories to think about in their old age.


It is also about learning the social language of the "game." When that is perfected, if the man learns to be a better person in the process, gain more confidence etc. he will soon tire of the game and look for the woman of his dreams to stay with. When he finds her, he will be well versed on what not to do and how to get her attention.

P.S. I am sure there is a happy medium between being completely phoney and learning how to interact successfully with women.

Jeannie

Excuse the double posting.

You think wrong then. Its not personal with me at all. I am simply making a study of the relationship issue. Mostly on this thread I wanted to do a little review of this particular book and my impression of it.

I think the author purposely meant to give that impression too. Ultimately I don't think he encourages people to be phony pickup artists, even though he said he learned a lot about talking to women from his experience and his study of their techniques.

where is Chief PUA when we need him??????

Yeh it would be interesting to have their side of it. LOL

Hmmmmmmmm I must read this book.....is it a new book out???

My problem is the opposite....i want a long term relationship....

however i have found that either my personal checklist items have shortened the relationship or theirs have limited it....so much so that i've gone on many first dates, but rarely go on a second with that same person...

i know i have high standards of what i'm looking for & sometimes they are restrictive....i have also found the same to be true of most women....

I think i could learn something from your book....

Early in the book when Neil first meets Mystery, there's another student there (I believe his name was Sweater). He got into the game just to find a nice woman to settle down with. He eventually found her and married her. Believe it or not, that's what most guys want. The majority of PUA's in that book though where in it for sex or money. But the book does have its advantages and disadvantages for both men and women.

Neil Strauss also wrote a second book which I have not read yet. I haven't even finished the first book yet. It is a fun read and written like a regular novel or story.

His second book is called "Rules of the Game"
1. The stylelife challenge, ~~ Master the game in 30 days
2. The Style Diaries ~~ The pickup Artist's Companion.

There are actually two books in this package.

The first book is real nice with a leather like cover and gold leaf paper edges. It has the look and feel of a Bible. The other books came together and are smaller. One has a white cover and one has a black cover and they come in a little book box.

Style is the name given to Neil Strauss as all the PUA's had alternate names and personalities they created.

You can get these two books on amazon.com.

I have a little book store on my website www.queenofcoins.com that has a catagory for relationships where you can order the books too. I don't make much on them, but I wanted to make them available on my site.

Jeannie

Hello,
I'm Chief, and I'm a young pickup artist in the scene.
Just like any group of people with any label, there's going to be a normal curve in which a rare few are lost in the abyss of patheticness. The vast majority will be a simply unenlightened bunch just looking to chase some tail. Then, there are a rare few who actually understand what pickup is really all about: one path out of many toward taking control of your own life and achieving self-actualization.

In life, there are three main categories in which we must build success in order to be happy: Health, Wealth, and Relationships. There are many disciplines available in which we can learn how to achieve success in Health and Wealth: Gym training, martial arts, diet plans, career training, stock trading, real estate investment, etc. Everything we learn in school ultimately has to do with Health and Wealth. However, an entire one-third of the puzzle is missing, which leads to complications in the regular American's mental health and social adeptness, especially for men. Women are already socially adept by nature - by the nurture in which they chose to socialize from a young age.

The pickup artistry is a discipline in the making that let's people build some sort of success in Relationships with clear goals and some predictive ability.

A PUA has CHOICE in terms of his love life. Everyone has different goals. Some guys get into this to get laid more, some guys get into this because they are looking for a nice girlfriend, some guys get into this so they can make sure they get married to the right woman and not just to some girlfriend they were in a relationship with by default, and some get into this just to get over sexual frustration. You can't really judge us as a whole.

As for the "phoney" techniques, etc...
First of all, there are two aspects to Game: Inner Game and Outer Game. Most of the content presented in The Game by Neil Strauss consists of glorified Outer Game, which is simply the "what to say, what to do" parts. Inner Game is the constantly-overlooked (yet more important) half of the deal, which focuses on shifting your mental reality in terms of how you see the world and how you see yourself so that you can live more confidently and happier, which ultimately lets you radiate a more attractive energy... and let's you create, for yourself, a more attractive personality that you can naturally convey to others.

Mystery, one of the main characters in The Game, is very big on Outer Game. The Mystery Method is an entire step-by-step Outer Game model of pickup. However, he teaches that once you get the hang of all this canned material, you are supposed to switch it out with real stories from your own life so that it becomes genuine material... it's just following a basic structure of attraction that nature created over time with evolution. Yes, Mystery and other master PUAs are well-versed in evolutionary psychology. I even took a course in it myself.

Oh, by the way...

That is an incredibly sexist thing to say. It's not sexists because you are generalizing - it's just fact that men think about sex very often. However, saying that we would be "better people" if our genetic wiring were different is offensive, just plain wrong, and spoken from an unenlightened and self-centered perspective.

Thank you for enlightening me. I did sound very sexist in that statement and I am sorry. I remember when I was younger I had many interests I wanted to pursue but this sexual programing and nesting instinct kept getting in the way of my plans. It was so distracting. I think men have that problem too, and it may be a little more pronounced. It is the way we are both wired.

The reason I say that men would be "better people" if they did not have this strong desire for sex all the time is because they sometimes let it get in the way of their decision making process. Women do this too, picking an abusive man because she thinks she needs a man no matter what. We could all do with a little social training.

Again I am sorry for my sexist remark, I was wrong. Thank you.

Jeannie

I have a strong dislike for PUAs...

members claim that it boosts their self confidence and self esteem, which makes them more desirable to women. They do sort of use "tricks" and "tactics" to keep a girls attention, to read if shes into him, and how to pick her up. I watched The Pickup Artist on VH1, hosted by Mystery...

However... its a 2-way game. There are various websites, books and seminars teaching women how to snag-a-man... sometimes a handsome man. often times a wealthy man (doctor, ladies? yes please!) Heck.. if you read cosmo girl.. its like "Prom: how to get the perfect date to match your perfect dress!" and crap like that.

Both sides are participating. We both feed into it. Women need to be more aware of themselves. I do recommend reading The Game. I have... but then again i did to understand my ex. He went with some friends to a few PUA meetings and was interested in joining. The thing is.. i had a slight issue with my boyfriend practicing picking up women... and being good at it.. which he was. In fact.. you can google him.. he is a member of the detroit PUAs... his alias is "Magnus"... which- part of a sick ironic revenge... was an inside joke between him and myself.

Learning about the tricks will keep you from being fooled.

I think women have been learning these techniques way longer than men have. They have just as much right to get an education as we do. What I don't like is a man who is afraid and has no confidence. Women want an alpha male, not some guy with a whimpy smile and his tail tucked between his legs.

But just picking up a woman is not enough. Its a start. But if you are lousy in the sack, you fall on your face and are a big disappointment.

In the book "The Game" there was one man who Style called "a natural" He had been seduced at a young age. He had been educated all of his natural life in sex itself. These "naturals are often tired of sex by the time they reach 40 or 50 because they have been doing it since they were eight years old. But they are good at what they do.

If a man does not get enough, have enough practice, he will never improve enough to satisfy his final choice for a mate and she will not respect him and she will probably cheat on him.

Both sexes need to educate themselves in relationships and practice the social skills. But you can do that to develop your true confidence. Don't remain a phony. And try not to hurt people's feelings.

Jeannie

two words - Mae West



the operative descriptive word here is "game"
love is not in my reality a game. PUA's have
(amusingly) missed the boat. they can know
nothing of love because love exists outside
the boundaries of their miniscule microcosm.

but Mae West knew that!!

So, here's to real love drink it deeply.

And, don't BUY this crap. Get it from the library
and save your money for something more important.

Agree

I think there are people good at the game, people not so good at the game, and people like me...didnt realize until late in life it was a game. LOL