What i am getting at is, in the last 3 years i have dated 3 women.
They all dumped me an had the same reason they said i am to passive, an i do to much for them. Then they say it isn't me its them. I don't understand. I truly like to cooked,go shopping with them,just being there for them, as for being passive.i don't mean not taking up for them if it is needed i would die for the woman i am with. I hate to argue. i had a bad marriage an we did nothing but argue.
I think I have come to the conclusion that women don't want a man that won't fight for the sake of fighting with them. I think they like it. Do women just like being with a$$holes are should I stay my self an be single? I dont think i am a bad looking guy. I do think i need some advice.

Honey I wish my husband had been like you, I would probably still be married, but as it would be, he was an azzhole. Stay passive and don't ever change

dont change who u r for anyone. u will find a girl who will love all that u do

Its all about what your willing to tolerate

Tolerate is good but not so good as well. A person can only tolerate so much then stop trying. It is hard but has to be that way

Reading what you wrote, you appear as a really decent guy...a guy women would love to have. Don't change anything about yourself. There is someone out there...out there...out there. (Um, yeah, three times the charm...maybe the next one will be the one.)

Thats tru. I used to keep stuff bottled up (tolerate) for so long adventually I exploded

sweet dont change please, those women didnt realise how lucky they were, but i tell you what one day they will look back and realise how stupid they were

Damn where was he when I was looking for a husband, oh wait, he is my daughter's age, that is why I couldn't find him.

Seriously, you are hot, so don't change ok

HI DEB

hi hun ...some women eh dont know how lucky they are lol

Coming from a woman’s point of view (when I was younger) I liked to argue (I’m embarrassed to say now) just because that was the only way I knew how to communicate but as I grew up I changed and although I’m not the BEST at communication I TRY without giving up and don’t ever want it to lead to an argument… although I was wondering…with the cooking, shopping, etc. How much time are you spending with them? Are they feeling they have no space of their own? I don’t know, I am only one out of many but it truly does NOT seem like it was you, take it at face value hun… maybe it really was them. Best of luck to you though….

Well the amount of time spent with them that would be as much as i can. But i would say avg. a call are two a day an seeing them 4or 5 times a week. I don't think that to much. after 4 months of dating I would consider that being a relationship.

I can relate dexterx, the last two women I've been serious with seem to enjoy arguing. I've wondered what gives some women the urge to do so.

Again I will say don't change and why don't you let the women come to you, it might make a difference in your relationship

Hey just, some women like the thrill of the fight so to say and if you don't argue with them then they feel you aren't worth their time.

Damn I need to start my own thread;

ASK DR. BAD_GIRL You think

i really couldn't say........i know i don't want someone who smothers me and does everything for me. Nor do i want a man that will let me walk all over him....I have a very dominant personality and if you will set back and let me run you I will and that gets boring. I will also admitt I have a tendency to push for my own way and if you let me. mayby you need to find someone a little more passive to compliment your personality mayby they've all been a little more on the dominant side.

Dude, I see this as they felt a little smothered by you. It's cool to me that you cook man. Hell, most of guys don't know our way around the kitchen (I usually leave the kitchen for my lady, but the grill is all mine.. ). But if you stay right up there butts where they feel smothered, then it is going to lead to them not wanting to be with you. As for shopping? Well, I like to shop for the things I want, and I don't mind going with her if she wants me to or I just say "Hey, I wanna go.". But, I try to find that balance of knowing when to spend time with her and when to give her some time alone.

As for the arguing and fighting? Don't change that bro. Men being jerks and assh*les is just not cool. Us nice dudes have a reputation to uphold man, and while the "bad boys" might get the girl sometimes, in the end, the good guys win. I should know. I think I found the girl who is right for me, and she dated bad boys. Now she likes this goofy bas*ard. Don't change man. You are you.

i thought i was alone..thank you

Man, this is not unique. You know how many women I've met who did the same thing to me? It's like this, no matter what anyone says, the majority of women need a challenge of some sort. Thus the bad boy syndrome. And while some women actually grow out of it (after failed relationships and heartbreak) they still need to see some sign of bad boy in a guy. I don't know if it's that old need to feel protected, or a subconscious desire to feel some element of danger.

After being jilted one too many times, I actually started being an a$$ (not on the level of most a$$es, but an a$$ nonetheless) and all of a sudden, it was like night and day. I'd walk into a bar or whatever and it was like I was actually worthy of attention. Unfortunately, the women who were into me were not what I was looking for. So I dropped the bad boy act, and just reverted to my old self. Pathetic that I would go to such lengths, but I'm honest about it...

In short, now I find myself in a very odd situation. I am not an a$$, but I maintain some of that cocky edge. Now what I get is women who show intial interest, find out I'm not a complete loser, then they lose interest. They meet some scumbag, hook up, and then after they pop out a kid or something stupid, they realize I was not so bad after all. I've named it the boomerang effect...

But if I was to try to make a point (which I haven't yet) it would be this... It's all about confidence. The one thing I didn't exude "pre a$$ days" was confidence.

I'd say don't change, but be a little more mysterious? Take control a little bit? Change things up a little here and there to be a little unpredictable. What this would mean as far as you're concerned I have no idea, but you'll know what to do.