Apparently I need help weeding through the losers to get to the real people. I've met and dated a couple people from this site. Some have been really nice to get to know and are still friends. Others not so much.
Fortunately for me, I'm not easy. Otherwise, I'd have been played a lot and all used up by how many people just want to get in my pants.
Well the most recent idiot I talked to kept me on the computer for a week planning on meeting him (was supposed to meet him today actually). What can I say? I was intrigued. He seemed like a great guy, was cute, we had a lot in common. He even worked masonry (which was my last construction field). We made all these plans and I was expecting him today and I even talked to him before I went to bed last night and then I get up this morning and find his email. I'm so sorry, I'm not going to be able to make it. It's not you, it's me. YADAYADAYADA!!! I'm so sick of it!

I've tried putting different things in my profile. Different pictures, partying, with family, with friends, nice, not so nice and I've mixed up the things I say in my profile. All true and me, but just worded differently. I just don't get it.

So on that note..

Can anyone tell me how to find the REAL men?

Thanks.
Tracey

Srry to say but its a two way street there.

Tracy,

I am far from an expert at love. I read your profile and looked at your pictures. There is nothing wrong with any of it.

There are a lot of people who say one thing in their profile. And want something completely different.

They seem to put what they think people want to here and not the truth.
Stick with the truth about you.

You are very attractive and from reading your post and profile you seem very intelligent to me.

It is a shame to have to wade through the swamp to find the treasure.
But there are guys who would be more then willing to try and make you happy and treat you right.

Wes

I think I'm a loser

ricol, yes it is a two way street. i'm not denying that there are girls out there that are screwed up also. it's just mean.
unfortunately, that doesn't get me any closer to learning how to pick the right guy. =(
i can tell you, though, that i very much take other people's feelings in to consideration. if it hurts me, it probably hurts other people as well. i'm a pretty strong girl.

i just want to find the right guy.
i'm asking for tips on how to find the right ones at least to choose from. does that make sense?

wes, thank you for the compliments. any advice on how to make the swamp a little less wet and muddy along the way?
link, don't think that way!!

Tracey---

I found that I had about one "good" date in ten. There are good men and women alike out there, but you have to just weed them "bad apples" out.

Remember that "Lowered Expectations" skit on SNL??

Well, don't do that, and don't doubt yourself. I found that there were so many men that had lied, had no idea who they were, or wanted to be someone that they weren't that I actually wondered if it was me deliberately finding fault. I'm sure, to a degree, I did look for fault, but not always. You just can't take dating personally, hard as that is to take. Because rarely, if ever, are the scenarios that you explained actually about you.

Just try to pretend every date is the first one and that no one else has ever disappointed you in the past, for an open mind really is a single person's only hope. You must remove the bad experiences that help you and hurt you simultaneously. A hard feat to take on or accomplish, but by no means out of the realm of possibility.

Just a thought. It worked for me.

First check what type of guys you are going for!! also take your time get to know them, this is the internet, seems to be alot of weirdos out there.. Best of luck.

there is nothing wrong with you... it happens to all of us. Ive been thru that a couple of times. Some people just get cold feet or they aren't who they say they are. That's their fault, not yours. Just keep looking, trying, and above all... keep your head up.

I've met stranger people in a bar than I have online

I'm sorry. I believe some of the things I do in life makes me a loser and then there are others that make me feel like a winner.

I've met one really really good one and eight massive disasters from various websites -- none from here.

I can't blame everything on them, though (even though dishonesty seemed to be an obsessive pastime for most of them) -- there were red flags, signs I ignored (consciously or not), little (or big) inconsistencies, plenty of "WTF?" moments that slipped by, unimpeded.

Even the most aware of us can still be fooled, though.

I eventually came to the conclusion that the kind of person I would be interested in, simply does not use dating sites. I'm still not sure if that's actually the case, or if I just got fed up putting in the amount of time and energy I wasted on the phonies....

Have you found the right guy for you?
I have definitely already learned how to treat each person as an individual, but I learned that back when I was like ten.

Maybe that IS the problem, though. So many people have been through so many screwed up things that they just aren't willing to see things anew.
My baggage has been left in the past. I'm divorced for many years, been through other long lasting relationships and STILL consider each person an individual.

Sigh. I just wish there weren't so many screwed up ones.

I guess I'll just have to start saying yes to more dates ;)

you should never, ever call yourself a loser. If there are things in your life that make you feel that way, then working on changing them. You are not a loser...

me too!

haha there ya go!
it all evens out huh. hahaha

I wish I had the secret! I can say in my case if I am truly interested in a relationship with someone I make it a point to open up to them.
It makes me vulnerable to being hurt but I want them to KNOW I am sincere. And I am not going to change.
See how they talk to you. Not just about the every day things. That of course is important. But see if they open up to you. What makes them happy, What has hurt them and made them cry?

I have found people that I have developed a deep friendship with. I have shared their joys and cried with them too when things were bad.
I know it has been over said but the best relationship are based on great friendships. And they take an emotional investment too.

I don't know if this makes any sense. or helps. But I hope it does.
Wes

Well I feel like I'm going down hill.

why?

nah, you're not.
always remember that girls are more attracted to a guy with a positive and confident attitude.