Hello I am rhon and I joined last Saturday to step outside my box.. I am coming off a self imposed penial embargo after a nasty break up I took some time off to reflect and accept my role in what went wrong , learn grow and focus on myself so I could be a better person.. so here I am thinking about getting back out there - a little gunshy and nervous but I know I can't close myself off forever any advice ??

Hold On tight and Enjoy the ride once you find the right one but in the mean time Have some fun

Just take it easy and look for what you want...Thats all I got!

Relax, be yourself and have fun just be yourself it's all good..

well I don't want to hurt or use anyone in a will date for food situation lol .. coffee conversation sounds great .. I am a sucker for lillies and orchids, so a little afraid of getting swept up in something I am not ready for or am I ??

Well I once waited 5 years to start seeking a relationship, after a bad break-up I was devistated. So taking the time off helped me a lot, and then one day it was just like I had opened my eye's and I knew I was stronger than I had ever been in my life, and ready to be in a relationship. I think only you can truly answer that question.

good advice but it is like I can tell you more about what I don't want then what I do .. I want someone nice, someone considerate someone fun those seem easy enough to say but hard to find

there is where I have trouble sometimes I get too immersed in a relationship and lose sight of who I am so it is hard then one day it is like I wake up and remember who I am and realize this is not what I want .. working on it for sure I like who I am single lol

Sorry

I know that I am stronger already - he keeps trying to suck me back into the ugly and I won't go nor will I stoop to the nastiness that he wants to sink too ... not my style .. I just don't want to hurt somoneone else

What I meant is Enhjoy yourself and the company of others But remember If it dont work out everytime so be it and that friendship is a great thing also I have learned this . recently Back on the dating scene myself. I have made some wonderful friends . and nothing is better than that

Just shake you shamerock no really just have some fun and if you find somebody interesting just be up front and honest with him. And if it goes any farther than speak from the heart. don't worry about rushing into things it will happen when it is time I don't know if these are lillies or orchids but they are for you

sounds like you are not ready for anything yet, might be best to keep up the self-imposed exile for a bit longer, when your ready you will know it, you wont need to ask.

Thank you I am just at this place of prefering to be without then to be with the wrong one does that make sense??
The flowers are really nice thank you

but sometimes we have to rip off that bandaid

Good for you, I am glad you feel that way. You seem like a nice person. Sometimes the best way to keep from hurting someones feelings, is to be straight up honest. There have been many times in my life if the other person had just been honest with me, It would have made things a lot easier. People can handle the truth, but in most cases can see through the bull. Sometimes if they just don't get it then you have to be blunt. But otherwise just simple words will suffice.

well I would much rather be hurt with the truth then a lie anyday .. a lie hurts twice..

There are a lot of great people on this site. However, even the best sites are going to have their share of nutjobs and wackos, so it's important to be careful with whatever you do here.

Some of the red flags that I have either experienced myself, or heard from others:

Anyone who pushes too hard and/or too fast for personal contact information, or too meet right away. This is a bad sign; someone who is truly interested will not try to rush you into anything.

People who ask for nude pictures. This is usually not a good sign, and it apparently happens a lot more than you might think.

People who ask for money.

People who ask you to dance naked in fromt of a webcam (unless it's Eileen; she has her reaons).

Look at their profiles. Sometimes you can tell a lot about a person by what they say -- or don't say. Married people will sometimes not specify anything about their marital status (and sometimes will lie about it, but that's harder to know right off the bat).

Some people use pics in their profiles that are either not them at all, or may have been taken 20 years ago.

If you start talking to someone and are comfortable with getting to know them further, and you decide to meet, make sure the first meeting is in a public place, with lost of people in the vicinity. Make sure someone knows where you're going and when. One strategy I've heard (and wish I had thought of!) is to have a friend call on your cell phone during your first meeting with this new person. If things are going really badly, this can give you an inoffensive and seemingly reasonable "way out" -- "Sorry, I have to go, that was my sister, she was just in an accident" or something.

It's all about safety and protecting yourself. At the same time, it's possible to "safety" your way right out of a good prospect if you're too defensive. So there needs to be a balance.

With most people, I tell them to trust their instincts. If something just seems "wrong," there's a good chance it is. You may not want to close that door right then and there, but keep your eyes open for additional indicators.

And remember -- everybody is different! Just because you have a bad experience with one person, doesn't mean the next one will turn out the same way.

Good luck, and be careful out there!

well I would much rather be hurt with the truth then a lie anyday .. a lie hurts twice..

Thats exactly right