The Naked Man on the Bench




A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper covering his genitals.

The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?"

The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!" The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep.

Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain. "Where the hell am I?"

A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergency help, so we rushed you right over."

"Well, what the hell happened to me?"

"We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happening to you today?"

The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me just before I fell asleep."

The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl was still there, and she was. The person said, "Do you know what happened to that man you saw here earlier?"

"Well," the little girl said, "I started to play with that nice little bird that he had and the damn thing spit on me. So, I wrung its neck, broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"

Satan Pays a Visit




One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church.

Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon, everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving....seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and fumed, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years!"

Hey everyone!!

Welcome back ((grammy))

Damn...we got about 3 inches of snow here! Not bad I guess since they called for more..it's STILL snow and it still has to be shoveled...

They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows.



dam ((((Robin)))thought I was alone here, hi we's got thunder boomers here, scary I'll tell ya...

Hey (((Noden))) Damn..We had the thunder boomers a couple of days ago and it was snowing, craziest thing I ever saw. Didn't know whether to head to the basement or grab a shovel and start shoveling.

Well it's happenin here and there big ones too, scary chit let me tell ya, snowing, raining and thunder....

Okay damit I am hungry going to go bbq a steak out on the porch, outside,,,, for sure...cya be back later....

INCONCEIVABLE!!! (Dammit)

wow dam

damn laci were are u tonight

damn nobody talkin tonight or wat

DAMMIT ITS SLOW IN HERE

thats for Damn Sure

Damn...nice pic FETTS

damn cute pic lilbug

hey lilbug and claudette damn i'm tired

damn mustang go rest then