As I sit here
The memories of it all
Come flying back
As if it were just yesterday
Just another day at work
Deep in the bowels of the hospital
Even that far away from the business of it all
Word floated down
Did you hear
Las night a guy was brought in
Put up on 2 North
He went crazy
2 orderlies and 2 nurses couldn't even hold him down
He knocked out Big Neal from Psych too
Thats when I knew
My stomach dropped out
My heart stopped
Thats when I knew it was you
Hands shaking
I slammed out the double doors
Past the garbage room
Through the twisting winding halls
To the elevator bank
Stabbed the up button
Waiting impatiently
The doors hiss open,
I slip in
Stabbing at 2 North frantically
Elevator doors hiss closed
Rising above the ground
Elevator music getting on my nerves
Hissssssssssss slide the doors
I am out at a run
Slipping past people left and right
Skidding to a stop at the Nurses station
Jenni we didn't call for you did we?
No , I'm not here for a pick up
I grab Shiela and pull her into the soiled linen room
I know you can't tell me much I say
But you have a patient here
Long hair, beard kinda looks like Jesus
Names Tommy?
Shiela reached up and touched my shoulder
You know him?
Yes, I whisper, starting to shake
She whisks me away to his room
Pushing her way past the other nurses
She's a friend of his she may be able to help a little
Before me, in the bed
Tied up
Restraints they say, were needed
I push my way through
Plucking at the restraints
Wanting to untie them and set you free
A nurse grabs at my hand
Tells me no that you will just fly into a rage
Not my Tommy, he would never hurt me
Let me untie him now and you will see
Tears slide from your eyes
As you say my name over and over like a prayer
I reach up and brush away the tears
Brushing back your long hair
I whisper Tommy , whats wrong
Untied now, your curl up in a ball
I climb in the bed and hold you
Shiela slips a syringe ino my hand
And whispers please help us sedate him
I bite my lip, silently begging for your forgivness for what I am about
to do
Sticking it into you depressing the plunger, knowing its for the best
Whimpering now still saying my name over and over
Eyes closing and you rest
Climbing down from the bed
Big Neal asks me if I can help more later
When they move you to 1 West
1 West....psych ward
Just th mention of it sends a chill through out my body
I say yes just page me when its time
I walk away going back down into the bowels of the hospital
Feeling empty and cold
A few days pass
I come on my lunch hour to see you
Opening the locked doors with my keys
You're standing waiting by the door for me
I slip as quickly as I can
Fearing you running at the door
Trying to escape
You walk up to me patting at my pockets on my scrubs
You have the key you say softly to me
Yes Tommy I do
You guard the castle, you ask
No Tommy , you know what I do here
Patting at me franically you whisper
Take me with you
Take me away
My heart cracks wider then before
Come on Tommy, lets go sit in by the windows
Its warm there and you can see the sun shining on the snow
I lead you away, so easily like a child you follow
We sit and talk, well mostly i talk
You rock back and forth
Saying my name over and over
I look at the clock
Knowing I have to go
I walk you over to a nurse she takes your hand and leads you away
Back to your room
I walk past the nursrs station, Big Neal comes out
Let me walk down with you he says
I know its nothing good that he is going to say
I close my eyes and sigh
Sure Neal
Neal mutters something about bad trip,acid, ex wife, maybe even just
life
It all sits in my brain like a block of cement
I slam into the double doors
Tell my boss I gotta leave
Too much for me right now
Gather my stuff
Head out
Walking to my car
Past the windows Tommy and I just sat at
I hear pounding and screaming
I look up
There you are at the windows punding on them and screaming my name
Take me with you
Take me away
Something at that moment shatters like glass
My heart breaking and crashing
I look up again and see Big Neal wrapping his arms around you
Pulling you down and away
I can just imagine his soothing voice flowing softly in you ars
She'll be back
She'll be back
I visited every day
Talking of times past
Like the day we layed in the field together
Whispering because we were afraid o make noise
That any loud voice would shatter the dream like moment
Like the time you said I was a stone cold fox
And wanted to teach me how to box
I laughed it off
No stone cold fox here
Each day you slipped further and further away
Locked inside the man that you once were
Just a shell of a man now
The pain of seeing you this way became etched on my face deeper and
deeper
With each visit
You stopped talking, even saying my name
Sinking further and further inside
No longer did you hold my hand
The tears would slip down your cheek
And I knew you were still there
But just couldn't find the key
To unlock you from within
I had to stop coming every day
It went from every day to 2 times a week
Down to once a week
Down to once a month
Now its once a year
You're still there
Deep down inside
I know it
I can feel it
Each time I go
I fight the fear
That someday
I could be you
Forever locked inside
Each time I come
After I am done
I sit in the car
And cry for the man that once was
So many hopes
So many dreams
All taken away
On that fateful day.


*** Please do not tagg this***

** This poem is dedicated to my very dear friend Tommy, for the man that
once was, I wish I could find the key to unlock you from deep inside
yourself.I miss you**

Comments are welcomed just no tagging plz

Very upseting.. Got chills all over.. Was very exciting to read.. Well
done!

Ohhh girl this did bring tears to my eyes it
so sad to know someone is so lost in there own
world and can not find there way back to reality.
Maybe someday he will be able to find his way
back and find that door and want to unlock it
and come back. But sometimes that never happens.
They get so lost inside that world it seems
as if the key is lost forever.

I can only say that I hope your friend finds the key and the way back.

this moved me as well,,,good words,Poet...M.