I'm not the kind of person who lets her guard down easily, I don't let my emotions get the better of me. I have met guys that I think I like, but they just don't work out, and I am ok with that, people are people you can't get along with everybody.

But............I met the most wonderful, incredible, thinks like me, finish each others sentences, our likes are the same, our dislikes are the same. He stimulates me intellecually. He is on my level in almost every way.

Dilema..... he lives over 2500 miles from me. We obvioulsy haven't met in person, although we have spent hours upon hours on the phone with each other. But the chemistry is very important to me, and you can't find that over the phone. we are tentatively planning on meeting in March. What if we meet and the chemistry is not there and we have commited 4 days to each other? what do you do in that case?

Oh did I ever mention that I am an over analyzer?

no risk no gain,

if there is no chemistry in person, you could figure at least maybe you have made a friend that has the same values as you.

Seen this same scenerio too many times to count..even experienced it. from what you said, it won't work out or even if you try it, it will be tons or "work" and not very enjoyable.

Just calling it from experience. Good luck!

I've found chemistry over the phone. And I've met 75+ guys from online sites IN PERSON. Your heart knows ... give it a listen.


The one time it wasn't there as it was online I decided to just relax and have fun. We ended up having an amazing time .. but then in Boston that's not hard

if the chemistry isnt there ....he will still be there for a few days right? Just make the best of it....obviously you afre not obligated to have sex with him.....just hang out and have fun!!!! Make the best of it and make a friend

good luck

Oh my heart knows... my head on the other hand does most of the thinking, and over rules.....

i just had an awesome experience with this, and got a real true friend, and much more. you gotta try. didn't try once for work, and found out i could have been working for george lucas, i blew it. learn from that! you go girl!!!!

I hear ya girlfriend ... yep I do.

what i'd do!

that is what he said...and actually we are meeting in neutral territory...

Sounds like you have great plans. That way you guys will at least get a good or bad feeling. Either way it sounds like you have at least friendship connection.

If love is not there then friendship can be.....take him and let him enjoy his stay!!!!

Who's traveling to whom?

...and where the heck is he? The only somewhat inhabitable place on this continent 2500 or so miles from you is the Northern Yukon or Alaska. Other then that, maybe Greenland or northern South America.. unless he's floating on the high seas somewhere?

Don't worry. You are over analyzing it. If you keep doing that you run the risk of working yourself into a complete wreck, by the time March gets here. That'll be attractive!

Even my worst experience with meeting someone from off the net was not near as bad as my worst experiences meeting a few local women.

4 days is barely enough time to figure out how exactly the relationship will land, for most.

Although I've never had to do it.. I suppose if it makes you feel better, have a plan 'B' in place if you are traveling to him. If he is coming to you, should you find him so repulsive, asking him to go home or someplace else, is not as bad as it sounds.

Awe, I love you babe... you know I was over exagerating about the distance.

I do sorta have a plan B.. we are meeting with both of us away from our "home territory"

I know you are doing the same thing now with your lovely lady friend... how is that going? Well, I hope.... but you know I'm always your back up.....

Nope.. I'm back in Oregon now. I like to live dangerously, so to speak. I had no plan 'b'. Personally? If I felt a need for one... I'd probably had rethought my going at all. My only problem while there was trying to figure out a way to keep her from going to work, that didn't involve rope and handcuffs!

Lily,
As the "lovely lady" in question (and thank you kindly for the compliment) I can say I was in a similiar situation before jistme and I met. I overanalyzed it almost to death.
You see, he was so far away when we first started talking there was no immediate possibility we'd meet and I let my guard down as well.

But once he got here things all fell into place. When we kissed I dropped whatever it was I was holding... keys? purse? Something like that.
A good friend advised me to do the neutral location thing, as it is sound advice. I did not take it, of course, but it is still the smartest way to go if you have doubts. I really didn't have any when it came down to it. What I did was worried if I'd overfantasized him into this larger than life person who was too good to be true.
I guess what I want to tell you is that if the chemistry is there, it's there. In person it just solidifies it. You've got weeks to work out your doubts.

Have you two seen each other on cam? Exchanged lots of pics?

rope and handcuffs...see we were meant to be... kidding...

I take it all is well in the love department then... Good your a great guy and deserve that.

yes, we have, I'm quite smitten with him..... it is the distance thing that bothers me most of all. I know you guys have the same issue when it comes to that.

Is he stuck where he is? Are you stuck in Akron? What I mean to say is, are there barriers to ending up together if that is what you both want?