Last week was my birthday and I didn`t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that`s marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn`t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o`clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It`s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that`s the greatest thing I`ve heard all day. Let`s go!" We went to lunch. But we didn`t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It`s such a beautiful day... We don`t need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let`s drop by my apartment, it`s just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don`t mind, I`m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I`ll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".

And I just sat there... On the couch... Sobbing... Naked... and erect.

OMG LMAO