Topic: Relationship Resume =P
EveningKiss's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:22 PM
Edited by EveningKiss on Thu 01/24/08 12:23 PM
On the comment of Gypsy i thought this would be interesting.. Here is my Relationship Resume.


Name: EveningKiss
Alias: "Eve" "Hey You!"



Relationship Objective: To Obtain a long lasting relationship with someone who is as crazy and fun loving as I am.

Downfalls in Relationships:
Everything I have
I always spoil who i am with and do my best to make sure they are happy. I have gone nearly bankrupt spoiling others because I feel that the only way i was ever able to keep someone was to get them anything they wanted. I sacraficed everything and always abandoned in the end.

Basic Program

• Computer Skills
• Cooking
• Sewing
• Drinking
• Art
• Hiking
• Camping
• Swimming
• Running long miles
• Loves to work

Relationship Experiance

E.Z.B. (Not ging names just intials or nickames)
Security guard
· Obsessive over videogames
· Loved to work out
· More Movies then Cloths
· Kept up on my drinking
· Could never really get to go to any camping event with me.

W.F.
Bum
· Greatest achievement was beating all the Zelda games. · Never worked
· Good in bed.
· Never wanted children
· Never grew up

K.E.
JERK
· Emotionaly abusive
· Cared more about his car then anyone else.
· Cheated on me with everyone and anyone
· Constantely complained about my job
· Stole from me and my family



If you think you can do better then my last 3 guys Please submit in Writing with cover letter why you think You would be better.

Looking for:
· Someone who can make me laugh
· Someone whom I can take both to clubs and camping
· Someone athletic who would love to go running in the morning.
· Likes to play Music.
· Likes Being a bit of a geek
· SOMEONE WHO WORKS!!!!!!!!!


jtitol's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:24 PM
Hired :wink: drinker smokin

wildsideof35's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:25 PM
Good Resume!!!!flowerforyou

joshyfox's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:25 PM
When can you start?


Oh, and what is your desired position? laugh Sorry, I couldn't resist.

no photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:30 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

nuenjins's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:31 PM
You need a man with some "values". One that can touch your heart for real and be a calming factor.flowerforyou


EveningKiss's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:32 PM

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh


LoL Got the idea from you Gypsy =) Feel the love *lick*

devildog08's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:35 PM
hired! you can start tomorrow. oh and btw. message me if you want a raise. lol. goodl luck eve. message me if you wanna chat.

ellgee1976's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:41 PM
Edited by ellgee1976 on Thu 01/24/08 01:11 PM
GIRL! this is a GREAT idea, im makin my resume right now...lol

look for it tonight when i get online again...this should be great lol

laugh laugh laugh

joshyfox's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:47 PM
Look I made mine already!

Name: Joshua Mills (Joshyfox)
Alias: “The Fox”



Relationship Objective: To obtain a lifetime relationship with my one and only partner, sometimes referred to as “My Vixen“.

Downfalls in Relationships:
I have never been in a Relationship, but I’d imagine my desire to do whatever it takes to be what “My Vixen” wants me to be, may keep me from being my own person, this is untested.

Basic Program:

Computer Skills
Cooking
Cleaning
Moving Heavy Objects
Writing
Exercise
Enjoys Television
Likes To Snuggle
Honest
Lives By A Code Of Honor And Respect


Relationship Experience:

None

Looking for:

Someone as mild mannered as me
Can be a geek, but mostly can tolerate me being one
Non-Smoker or trying to quit
Non-Drinker or Light Social Drinker
Someone who can contribute to a conversation
Someone who can contribute to a plan or be able to make one on their own that’s open to suggestions
Sees herself not as a Servant or a Boss, but a partner



(…All of this is open to discussion and adjustments when necessary…)

s1owhand's photo
Thu 01/24/08 12:53 PM

On the comment of Gypsy i thought this would be interesting.. Here is my Relationship Resume.


Name: EveningKiss
Alias: "Eve" "Hey You!"



Relationship Objective: To Obtain a long lasting relationship with someone who is as crazy and fun loving as I am.

Downfalls in Relationships:
Everything I have
I always spoil who i am with and do my best to make sure they are happy. I have gone nearly bankrupt spoiling others because I feel that the only way i was ever able to keep someone was to get them anything they wanted. I sacraficed everything and always abandoned in the end.

Basic Program

• Computer Skills
• Cooking
• Sewing
• Drinking
• Art
• Hiking
• Camping
• Swimming
• Running long miles
• Loves to work

Relationship Experiance

E.Z.B. (Not ging names just intials or nickames)
Security guard
· Obsessive over videogames
· Loved to work out
· More Movies then Cloths
· Kept up on my drinking
· Could never really get to go to any camping event with me.

W.F.
Bum
· Greatest achievement was beating all the Zelda games. · Never worked
· Good in bed.
· Never wanted children
· Never grew up

K.E.
JERK
· Emotionaly abusive
· Cared more about his car then anyone else.
· Cheated on me with everyone and anyone
· Constantely complained about my job
· Stole from me and my family



If you think you can do better then my last 3 guys Please submit in Writing with cover letter why you think You would be better.

Looking for:
· Someone who can make me laugh
· Someone whom I can take both to clubs and camping
· Someone athletic who would love to go running in the morning.
· Likes to play Music.
· Likes Being a bit of a geek
· SOMEONE WHO WORKS!!!!!!!!!




bigsmile

The oracle says, "There are many interviews in your immediate future!"

Now, if you could only fill in a couple of details for our database. What were the years and durations of the previous relationship experience? flowerforyou

laugh

ellgee1976's photo
Thu 01/24/08 01:11 PM
Name: Ellgee197
Alias: "Ell" "LG"


Relationship Objective: To Obtain a long lasting relationship with someone who is as crazy and fun loving as I am.

Downfalls in Relationships:
Everything I have
I try to be everything to the one im with,
I always become what they need.
I have lost myself in the process,
in order for him not to look elsewhere

Basic Program

• Computer Skills
• Cooking
• Drinking
• Poetry
• Camping
• Swimming
• Spending time with kids


Relationship Experiance

S.L.B. (Not giving names just intials)
ASShead
· Obsessive over cleanliness
· Loved to lay on the couch
· Spent rent money on pot
· Is (wasn't aware at the time) Bi-Polar
· Could never get to be a father to his kids
· Could not keep a job
· Mentally and Emotionally abusive

this lasted for 2 years

C.L.O.
Bum
· Chef.
· Never worked
· Decent in bed
· Wanted LOTS of children
· Cheated on me with everyone
· Had severe back problems
· Constantly high

this lasted for a year

S.C.B.
The ASS
· Mentally and Emotionaly abusive
· Cared more about pleasing his daughter than anything else.
· Couldn't stand up to his daughter
· Used (still does) our daughter as a pawn
· Adventurous with sex
· Had sex when HE wanted it
· Masturbated to the lady on the news

this lasted for 5 yrs

If you think you can do better then my last 3 guys Please submit in Writing with cover letter why you think You would be better.

Looking for:
· Someone who can make me laugh
· Someone whom I can take out to clubs or various activities
· Someone who isn't afraid to stay home with kids and a movie
· Someone who isn't afraid of another man's children
· Likes to play Music.
· Has Manners
· Is repectful
· Is booksmart AND street smart


Goofball73's photo
Thu 01/24/08 01:17 PM
My resume sucks.laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

allinoell's photo
Thu 01/24/08 01:19 PM

My resume sucks.laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh


And mine is the same as his....indifferent

TheShadow's photo
Thu 01/24/08 03:36 PM
Well you ask if someone can think they can do better then the last three men you been with. I have a question. Are you able to what a man has to offer?

Id say ther are men on here that have everything you want,but are you willing to compromise?

bubbles6597's photo
Thu 01/24/08 03:54 PM
oooh this could be fun!


Name: Brandi
Alias: Bubbles6597



Relationship Objective: To obtain a relationship with a clinically sane male with whom I can both hold intellectual conversations and share a few laughs.

Downfalls in Relationships:
I don't fall hard or fast. It takes me a while to open up and completely trust someone. Sometimes it is misinterpreted as not caring, even if I love the person very much.

Basic Program

• Computer skills (note: skills, not skillz)
• Fishing
• Horseback riding (mainly contesting and western riding)
• Highland dancing (yes, I have a kilt and sword)
• Canoeing (among other water activities excluding water beds)
• Hardworking (I am a grad student so I am also cheap labor)
• Art (mostly painting and sculpture)
• Honeybees (I know an excessive and unnecessary amount of information about them)
• Sunscreens (see above)

Relationship Experiance

J.M.B.
High School Sweetheart
· Captain of the football team
· 4.0 student
· Member of drama club
· Very good dresser
· Came out of the closet 3 years ago.

C.L.W.
College classmate
· Captain of football team
· Life goal was to become a high school gym teacher
· Great in bed
· Knew he was great in bed
· Everyone else knew he was great in bed too...

J.R.S.
The Ex's Roommate
· Co-Captain of football team (I'm seeing a pattern here...)
· Emotionally a woman
· Thought everyone was inferior to him
· Zero sense of humor. Took life VERY seriously
· Hated my friends
· Wanted to get married right out of college



If you think you can do better then my last 3 guys Please submit in Writing with cover letter why you think You would be better.

Looking for:
· Someone who can make me laugh
· An animal lover
· Someone with life goals and the motivation to see them through
· Someone who embraces my nerdiness
· Likes Being a bit of a geek
· Someone who is straight, faithful, and fun loving

EveningKiss's photo
Thu 01/24/08 06:27 PM
Very nice resume Bubbles =)

romeo1975's photo
Thu 01/24/08 06:51 PM
Am available and willing to train extensively in all aspects of position. Am hard working and work late hours. Definitely qualified here<<<<<<

ellgee1976's photo
Wed 01/30/08 09:58 AM

Well you ask if someone can think they can do better then the last three men you been with. I have a question. Are you able to what a man has to offer?

Id say ther are men on here that have everything you want,but are you willing to compromise?


how much do i have to compromise on tho?

compromise is one thing, settling is another

MyrtleBeachDude's photo
Thu 01/31/08 12:38 PM
Name: Danny
Alias: MyrtleBeachDude



Relationship Objective: To obtain a relationship with a female with whom I can both hold intellectual conversations and share a few laughs and maybe share some drugs.

Downfalls in Relationships:
Excesive gas, constant belching, eating food with my mouth open,scheduling showers on a weekly basis,picking my nose, picking her nose.

Basic Program

• Remote control skills
• Shop Lifting
• Tax evasion
• Drinking
• Drunk Driving
• Member of D.A.M.M. (Drunks Against MAd Mothers)


Relationship Experiance

ADW.
Bar Maid
· 6' of all woman
· Slight growth of hair on her upper lip
· Good bowler
· Excellent Parole record
· Beat my ass then moved in with her ex cell mate

HEW
Wood Cutter
· She knew everything about chain saws
· Hell of an arm wrestler
· Passed as much gas as I did
· Language extremely colorful
· Left with DTW below

DTW
Female Pilot
· Good friend with HEW (above)
· She could steal a set of hubcaps in no time
· Had a hell of an un-diagnosed growth on her butt
· Stole a bunch of Food Stamps (I didn't eat for weeks after that)
· Would never believe me when I lied to her about anything!
· Ran off with HEW above. Why? Because HEW was a wood cutter and DTW couldn't Pile-It (Pilot) if DTW didn't cut it!



If you think you can do better then my last 3 women Please submit in Writing with cover letter why you think You would be better.

Looking for:
· A woman that can change a flat tire
· Has most of her teeth
· Fake breasts are fine
· Fake orgasms are fine
· Owns a boat.
Conciders Hooters as fine dining