Topic: Dear diary......omg another diary!!! - part 12 | |
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Least they weren't red cords!!
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Least they weren't red cords!! |
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lmao
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lmao |
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nothing but a smile ! lmao , i have to go i will be back later !
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Least they weren't red cords!! I like purple an red together..... |
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I bet you do!!!!!!
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<-----gone to have a date with Waltec!!!
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Red hat society!!
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Dear Diary;
I went out to buy a new windshield wiper but all the ones I bought broke, and the store wouldn't refund my money (even tho I was trying to install it in the parking lot. So now theres a wiper on there thats 1 inch too long and it looks tacky as hell. I'm so pissed right now I want to punch someone thru a wall. |
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And now I just found out the bank is charging me $70 for a $40 over draft fee. I JUST CAN'T WIN DAMNIT
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awwwwwwwwwwwww(((((((((Cloudy))))))))))))))))
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Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something. I
call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I was looking for Sex." My court case comes up next Thursday. One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church. My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for Sex. Then I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night", and the clerk said,"Me too." One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said, "Show off!" I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets. When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married" and the Judge said, "Me too." When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he said, "Me too." Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog?" |
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good one !
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Must Love Sex!
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Very cute, Purple. Needed that laugh.
Dear Diary, I don't want to have to get a second job to feed my son. Around 5pm, the kid ate a hot dog, a good serving of pasta then mandarin oranges. Now he is eating mac & cheese. Where did this appetite come from? We have been in the house since morning because the powers that be kept saying there was going to be snow. Not much snow happened, but some cold rain. Did not even get to Sister's to work on wedding stuff. Wedding is a week from tomorrow! Oops! |
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Kids know how to eat. They're like bottomless pits.
Unless it's brussel sprouts |
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laughter is awesome !!
almost as good as sex..... |
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