It sounds like you've already made up your mind. Logically, it doesn't make sense to you, but emotions are more powerful than logic and are often the cause of our actions.

um...yeah !

Thats what I think...I think she pretty much knows what she is going to do. I think she will be sorry in the long run when he breaks her heart BUT we all have to learn for the mistakes we make.

I was that guy once upon a time. Seems you are second, run!!!!!

sadly this is true,
not the making up of the mind part, but the whole
emotions part... and i think that being treated the way he treats me, him making me smile whenever we talk, i dont know... something about this just feels right... thats why i was asking everyones opinion, like... is it possible that he wants to move on? and just waited to ask me out till she left in fear of hurting me? thinking of me before himself? or is that just not possible... i mean i understand that some of you have been here before, but is there maybe some way something good could come out of this? the way we used to joke about how if we were dating? talking about a life, a house, or CHILDREN when we werent even a couple? i dont know... some things seem %100, like we were meant to be together... and he agrees... i dont know... i just know ive had feelings for him for quite some time, and i kept them quiet till he said "i think im falling for you..." about two months ago, and on new years eve, he said i love you... and i mean, our new years resolution, was to help eachother get over our ex's... and sure enough, 12:am 0n the dot he called me... "i love you, happy new years babe... call me back" i just really dont know...

but okay in this Q im asking, is it possible that he really does wanna move on?

Oh yea, did I say booty call???

its easy and its familiar- but that don't make it right.
do you control your emotions, or do your emotions control you ?

Good one tina!!

I see my best friend as potentially being more than a friend too. And we joke about stuff like that all the time. Twice though, after claiming she had feelings for me, she's ended up falling for a different guy. It sucks being pushed to the side for someone else. Having it happen repeatedly makes you feel like a plan B, but it still doesn't change your feelings towards that person. Like David DeAngelo says "Attraction isn't a choice." You're going to react to this situation the same way until your emotions tell you otherwise. Nobody can give you the answer you're looking for. As hard as it is, you'll have to wait to see how this whole situation plays out. You have to do what you believe is best for yourself. If you want to start a relationship with him and you end up hurt, that's just a part of life. You live, learn, and move on.

true words.

if emotions could pay my rent, then emotion can be in control.

indeeed indeed.

Thats a good question! Could you just be a booty call? Have you had sex with him? I know thats a personal question...but if you have then it kind of ruins my whole plan!
IF you have not had sex...heres one way of finding out IF he really wants to have a relationship with you OR if he just wants a booty call. Tell him that you do not want to have sex for awhile UNTIL you feel like you both are secure in the relationship. See how he reacts to this suggestion.
If you have had sex...well you just blew my whole plan!!

its hard...but sometimes the only way to see the reality of
a situation, is by removing yourself from it.

if its genuine, he'll do the right thing and build with you-
otherwise its a safe bet that he just doesn't want to NOT have anyone.

its frightening what we will put up with just to save ourselves from being alone.

Being alone is against our natural insticts of survival and replication. Our emotions try to guide us towards those 2 primary goals. Humans are interesting and it's surprising how little we actually know about ourselves.

But being alone is also a choice...

no i havent
we both wanna wait it out anyway i think, to be sure things are stable.

You know, no-one ever states that but me!! I choose to be alone and I honestly don't think its as bad as everyone thinks. I think when you reach a certain point in your life, the good thing is you can say..I don't NEED a man but I would LIKE to have a man in my life!! Then its truly satisfying to know that you are a independent woman. I actually love being single and my life is very content the way it is. I think when you are younger you feel like you have to have someone because all of your friends have someone. When you are older, you don't care what your friends think..you do what you want!! Its your choice and you can be that 3rd wheel and feel ok about it

you see, i dont mind being alone.
ive been the third wheel seince i dont even remember when.
but if someone is telling you that they have feelings, someone who you care for and someone you know would do anything for you... i dont know. i may just run with it... and my cousin is married to his best friend, so ehhh, i dont know. things may not work out, but then again, things might...
we both usually just date strangers, so maybe being with someone we both know is the right thing.

hun, if you are going to go forward with this guy because he "tells" you this and isn't "showing" you then why discuss it. I understand how you feel, I was ready to marry someone once and he wasn't ready for it...long story...I left him because my feelings were too strong for him and couldn't bare being with someone who couldn't reciprocate what I was feeling..

It is going to be one of the hardest choices you will have to make from an emotional stand point. If you too are meant to be together then you will be able to wait 6 months to a year to start something together, give it some time.

Let him fully get over his ex, when making this decision try not to let your emotions run the show and think logically about it...Look at the situation from an outside stance, if this was happening to a friend of yours, what advice would you give her, would you really tell her, "yeah, go for it! He means it this time" or would you caution her to help her protect her emotional well being......

enough lecture...sorry hun, but you seem like a really sweet girl and no one should be treated like they are second best, and from the information you have shared with us, that is exactly what he has done to you and I hope you understand that it probably won't be the only time it happens

UNSURE!, you are right about this one, I am the same way, I miss having someone in my life but don't need it to feel good about my life. Took a long time to figure that one out but it's true, when you are happy with yourself and like being with yourself (if that makes sense to you out there)then you are alright and very ready to share your life with someone else when the time comes..