Nobody ever sung THESE in gradeschool....


Mary Had a Little Lamb


Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two hunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet


Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider
That crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon


Simple Simon met a Pieman,
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you ****head.

Humpty Dumpty


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses
And all the kings men,
Said "F*ck him,
He's only an egg."

Mary Had a Another Lamb


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass,
And turned it's wool to nylon.

Georgy Porgy


Georgie Porgy, pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill


Jack and Jill
Went up the hill,
To have little fun.
Jill, that dill
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

Old Mother Hubbard


Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Little Boy Blue


Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the Money.


Mary had a little lamb

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
She also had a little pig
That kept on trying to f*ck it


Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Upwards ya dozy bastard!


Ding Dong Dell

Ding Dong Dell
P*ssies in the well
We put some disinfectant in
'Cos we can't stand the smell

....and to add one more.

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her Tuffet
Eating her curds an whey
Along came a spider
Sat down beside her
And said...whats in the bowl *****!!

Can anybody say ANDREW DICE CLAY

There is a reason why we didn't sing those in primary school.

I milked a bull instead of a cow pulled its tail instead of its tit and all I got was a bucket of sh-t...