went thru long 17 yr marrige. he was a drunk, liar an abusive. seem to have found the same type guys dating. now do i dare take the wall down an let another in?

you have to keep trying dont you ?

I'm divorced. My ex-wife was a cheater and a liar. So I tend not to trust women anymore. I guess I"m here to see what I can find and see if there's anyone in this world that ISN'T like that. So my advice would to be take some time and fish out people.

i have no idea what that is like, and i hope i dont but i think it is how you carry or think about yourself that leads you to find these arsewholes. theres someone out there that deserves you!

Sweetie!!! There are great guys outthere, it's just extremely hard to find one...I understand what your saying, my mom was in the same situation...You just gotta look hard. I wiosh you the best
<3

I know what you mean mate, i just got out of a 5 yr relationship, cos the B**** lied, did bad drugs behind my back, and cheated, among many other offenses. So I made her jet. Is there anyone out there???

LIFE'S SALVAGE SOULS,,,,thats what makes up alot of us on here..
We have ALL been HURT and life has CHANGED US in some ways.
So WE ALL learned and NOW through our own hurts we push forward to find ANYTHING,,,,,BETTER than what we had,, HURT US!!!


We will find others here to love.
We will find others here to call Friends.
We will find BOTH here to call, A START!

It is hard for me to trust too, due to some of the same issues others posted. I hope in time that will pass.

hurt heals, but only you can let that wall down. Give it a try, brick by brick, you'll find someone who deserves YOU.

i know how you feel ...

When you are trying to find nice people it usually helps to look where nice people hang out. The old birds of a feather. The workplace, places where alcohol is NOT served, places where people volunteer, places where there are a few rules and structure, maybe a dress code and bad language isn't acceptable. Someplace to be active but where there are referees and coaches and maybe a few cops hanging around. Try going home early instead of late.

You want to avoid a liar? Let them talk a lot and isten to what they say from jump street; take notes they will trip themselves up. Lieing is a character flaw that repeats itself. Sometimes it is little things at first; like not being on time, exagerateing, or various versions of the almost truth but it will show through in the behavior they demonstrate day in day out.

Want to avoid a cheat? Look at their parents. Cheating is often a learned behavior. It is often a repeated behavior. Have they messed over their parents, siblings, previous lovers? Follow the eyes. The body will follow the eyes. If you are into someone you aren't looking and you aren't preening all the time to be looked at.

Want somene nice? Try looking for the person behind the scenes. The person that is NOT standing in in the spot light but who maybe is still doing their job anyway. Look for attitude that you can live with long term. Someone slow to anger and quick to smile. Notice I didn't say laughing it up or showing off entertaining the crowd. Maybe not the last person in line but the one willing to stand in line and not get worked up about it.

YOu need to heal, read lots of books on codependency, go to the library, guit thinking about men for awhile and just concentrate on healing "YOU"

I agree with Gypsy41, you need to concentrating on healing YOU first. I forgot who said it , the the saying goes: In all things, To thine own self be true. Once you take the time and understanding to heal You, then you can move on.

walls not only keep things out, they also also keep things in... tear down your walls

I feel like Im in therapy right now........

Somehow we are attracted to the same types of people that we've left or tried to leave. Only thru therapy will we be able to get help to get passed this barrier. I'd recommend reading "50 Ways to Find True Love" by Chuck Spezzano. This book will help you understand where you've been, where you are now and how to get to the next steps. It certainly helped me... And it not only helps with your love life, but with family, friends and acquaintenances too.

Before you let another in ask yourself this...

Does he deserve ME ??

just like everything else- you have to decidet if it is worth it.
would finding the right loving relationship be worth the risk of having to go through another bad one?
also maybe seek professional assistance- the kind of men you are attracted to might be due to other issues.
do not build up a wall, but do not be care free either.
there are always people in any situation out for themselves.

you will be able to trust again.but there is a healing process to go through first.and it can take months or even yrs.my mom went through the same thing with my dad.13 yrs. of crap.iam just glad i was able to be there for her.hopefully you have some good friends to talk to to help you get through this.best of luck

everyone seems to have good advice here. i say take things slow. you have to heal first. if you cant love you, you cant love someone else. someone once told me it takes as long if not longer to get over a love than it did to fall in love with them. i dont know....xoxoxo