I just wanna put my opinion on this. I would say Yes and No to that. I think it is healthy for a couple to actually change (or adjust/improve) themselves in some ways that would make them appear more attractive to the other person.

To me, it shows that the couple care and are comfortable enough to actually openly discuss/communicate what each other likes/dislikes/wants/what turns them on/how to make each other more attractive. I think it's necessary because a relationship goes two ways, it's a compromise.

For example, if I like a girl 80% today because of her personality and look. However, if she can get rid of a bad habit of hers, then I might like her much much more. If today she likes me a lot and is willing to change that bad habit because it is actually good for the both of us, then I think she should try to improve herself on that. Also, she might agree that by changing the bad habit, it will improve herself in life, too.

With that said, I do believe there is a limit to how much to change/improve. If it really goes against the other person's views, then of course you shouldn't force them to change. For example, telling someone to get plastic surgery or telling someone to change their personality in a totally opposite way.

In conclusion, I think as long as both people agree that they would change/improve themselves on certain things to make the other person happier/feel more attraction, then they should. Because it shows respect, care, and great communication. After all, a relationship is a compromise and making each other happy.

OMG, Jim tries to start a non-confrontational, non-whining topic and you all go off on him.

I like it...I'll play along.

-My boy comes first. Prepare to be second always. I expect to be in the same place if you have children.

-No glove, no love. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

-Be in touch. I don't need to know where you are every minute of every day, but don't fall off the face of the earth.

-And to second an earlier comment, don't laugh at me when I am emotional.

- respect me
-respect my home- and this means everything already in it and anything you want to bring in it
-respect my friends and family
-be honest
-dont try to make me change my morals and beliefs

thats good stuff

I am used to people jumping on me because of my views in dating, it's quite a challenge but I know it will be worth it when the time comes...

i think thats where there are problems in committed relations with someone with a kid ..i dont feel there should be a first or second place i thinks its best if first is shared equally i mean how would anyone feel being in second especially when no ones behind them you might as well say youre last

thanks jim....i liked the ones you layed out in the beginning

it's not a race or placement. it's an emotion..when i have a daughter as young as she is right now I want to be there for her as much as possible, i dont get her every day...so if she calls wanting me to take her out for ice cream, our dinner reservation may get pushed up a bit, You cant get those times back with your child, but those times can be made up with the one your dating....

and if its a committed relationship whats wrong with both going for ice cream

and if its a committed relationship whats wrong with both going for ice cream

if it's to that level nothing at all, but most of the women I have encountered cant get past my relationship with my daughter to allow it to get there

and too maybe my idea and your idea of a committed relationship might just be two different things yours might be just dating one person and mine is living together ..that would make for a difference of opinions ...