Topic: A Little Tolerance
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Thu 01/10/08 10:09 AM
Sad but true -- I have seen a few threads, just in the last day or two, where someone starts out posting a question, an opinion, or just something informational, and is then mercilessly incinerated by several followup posters for no good reason, other than that they disagree with something about the original post. I expect this sort of thing in the Religion forum, where it's practically SOP, but in Relationship Advice?

That's not the way this is supposed to work, and anybody who has been here more than a few days should already know this.

The "entitlement attitude" disturbs me -- this idea that "nobody is supposed to post anything I don't like." Get over yourselves. These forums are for everybody. Nobody is required to post anything for your benefit or to your liking. And, if you disagree, there are ways to do it without coming across as a snippy infantile whiner.

Fortunately, it's just a small handful that have been guilty of this, but I have noted a few jumping on the bandwagon, halfway into a topic, solely to kick another poster who's down.

Just remember, these attacks say a hell of a lot more about the attacker than they do about the OP, in almost every case.

quarrrylife's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:10 AM
I fully agree and that was very well put ! bigsmile

trying_to_fly's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:12 AM
Very well said Lex.....couldn't have put it any better myself....:smile:

KAY KAY 's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:17 AM
drinker drinker drinker drinker

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Thu 01/10/08 10:17 AM
Well said Lex but I must point out a few of the topics have been insulting, not at anybody in particular most of the time, so folks need to be aware of other peoples feelings and beliefs before starting a thread that might be offensive to others

DebbieJT's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:17 AM
well said...but i think that some posts are put on to get a reaction...and if i dont agree with something strongly wii try and give my opinion....without whining lol...because it warrents it

spqr's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:23 AM

Well said Lex but I must point out a few of the topics have been insulting, not at anybody in particular most of the time, so folks need to be aware of other peoples feelings and beliefs before starting a thread that might be offensive to others
\


American PC at its best...
and you end up talking about the weather...no wait...the guy who is getting rained on might get offended if you speak about sunshine...


no photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:24 AM
There is a HUGE difference between the weather and peoples feelings and it shouldnt take a genius to figure THAT out!!!

DebbieJT's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:26 AM

There is a HUGE difference between the weather and peoples feelings and it shouldnt take a genius to figure THAT out!!!
yey to that lolflowerforyou

gregory583's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:26 AM
laugh quite a few but then its freedom of thought that makes a ot of them show just howmuch of a jerk they are and can be,then whine why nobody talks to me...laugh jerks spoil any party and its not cool or as cute as they think it is indifferent i myself could care less i just ignore them

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Thu 01/10/08 10:29 AM

laugh quite a few but then its freedom of thought that makes a ot of them show just howmuch of a jerk they are and can be,then whine why nobody talks to me...laugh jerks spoil any party and its not cool or as cute as they think it is indifferent i myself could care less i just ignore them
Good thoughts. some people think it makes them the life of the party when in reality it makes thm the "LICE" of the party!!!noway smokin

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Thu 01/10/08 10:33 AM
Being offended is a choice one makes -- or chooses not to make. If Person A states an opinion that does not violate site rules, then Person A should be free to post that opinion, without being flamed, as far as I'm concerned.

Person A is not obligated to take responsibility for Person B's feelings or reactions. That is out of Person A's control.

Likewise, Person B is under no obligation to attack Person A for holding a different belief or opinion. Person B is free to respond, and disagree, but the decision to do so in an abusive or hostile manner is still Person B's choice.

"He offended me with his post" is inaccurate. "I chose to be offended" would be closer to the reality.

You can also choose to ignore his post if it annoys you that much. Again, the site is not intended to cater to any one person's views and attitudes.

Lonelysingle's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:38 AM
Hey dude what about the blue sky didn't you forget it's purple?laugh

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Thu 01/10/08 10:41 AM
I agree Lex, but there has to be SOME kind of decency standard that most all of us can agree on, attacking ones physical apperance for example, even though no names are named, can be deeply hurtful to someone, and that is not execuable in any instance, at least in my book!

Shaden's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:41 AM
I find the cruelty not good, but rarely I have seen a post that was there to spark controversy. It's different commenting on an article then a personal post. Last night was just plain mean.

AaronzDad's photo
Thu 01/10/08 10:42 AM

Being offended is a choice one makes -- or chooses not to make. If Person A states an opinion that does not violate site rules, then Person A should be free to post that opinion, without being flamed, as far as I'm concerned.

Person A is not obligated to take responsibility for Person B's feelings or reactions. That is out of Person A's control.

Likewise, Person B is under no obligation to attack Person A for holding a different belief or opinion. Person B is free to respond, and disagree, but the decision to do so in an abusive or hostile manner is still Person B's choice.

"He offended me with his post" is inaccurate. "I chose to be offended" would be closer to the reality.

You can also choose to ignore his post if it annoys you that much. Again, the site is not intended to cater to any one person's views and attitudes.




What a refreshing bit of intelligence displayed here!

Lex this kind of insight WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

ohwell

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Thu 01/10/08 10:50 AM

I agree Lex, but there has to be SOME kind of decency standard that most all of us can agree on, attacking ones physical apperance for example, even though no names are named, can be deeply hurtful to someone, and that is not execuable in any instance, at least in my book!


Mikey, that wasn't the actual forum topic I was referring to, but I see your point there, and I agree with you. We have mechanisms in place to deal with that sort of thing, and those mechanisms do incorporate a "decency standard," although the standards can be a little nebulous on occasion (and open to various levels of interpratation depending on who's doing the interpreting).

I would make a distinction between someone expressing an opinion vs. someone deliberately attempting to antagonize. But even with the deliberate antagonists, I fail to see any good arising from attacking -- all that does is lower the attacker to the level of the antagonizer.

I'm trying to look at this from the standpoint of a new person who has just signed up here -- what do we want them to see, what impression do we want to convey to them?

And to be honest, if I was new and just happened to stumble across a few particular threads, I might be inclined to see this as a very hostile environment (and with some precedent, because every other site's forums that I've seen, have been VERY contentious).