A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk.
As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says
"NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE"
Slightly distressed the woman turns to her husband and asks what they should do. After thinking hard for 5 minutes the man come up with a plan
"What I'll do is tie the snake around my waist and try to pretend that it's a snake skin belt"
"Yes"
the woman replies,
"but what about the skunk?"
"I don't know, you'll just have to hide it up your skirt"
"But what about the smell?"
the woman asks.
To which the man replies
"Look, if it dies it dies!"

and the mans funeral is when ???

really funny,the best one i've heard yet!!