1. "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
-Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
2. "Things you`ll never hear a woman say: `My, what an attractive scrotum!"
-Patricia Arquette

3. "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships"
-Sharon Stone

4. "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you`re in."
-Courtney Cox

5. "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-Tiger Woods

6. (On going to war over religion) "You`re basically killing each other to see who`s got the better imaginary friend."
-Yassir Arrafat (PLO leader.

7. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we`ll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
-Bruce Willis

8. "And God said: `Let there be Satan, so people don`t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don`t blame everything on Satan.`"
-George Burns

9. "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you`ve got millions of pals out there. Type in `Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire` and the computer will ask, `Specify type of goat.`"
-Jason Alexander (George Castanza on Seinfeld)

10. "Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
-Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner -1996)

11. "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you`re anxious to meet people who do."
-Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State.

12. "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she`s reading."
-Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers.

13. "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
-Dan Rather (News anchorman.

14. "I saw a large woman wearing a sweatshirt with `Guess` on it. I said, `Thyroid problem?`"
-Arnold Shwarzenegger

15. "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I`m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
-Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

luv this...jerry garcia my fav

i like the last two, those gave me a good chuckle