ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS

THE GENE POOL COULD USE A LITTLE CHLORINE.

TIME IS WHAT KEEPS THINGS FROM HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE

I DIDN'T FIGHT MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A
VEGETARIAN.

WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN LACK AMBITION.

YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT

IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY ARE THEY MADE WITH MEAT?

FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT.

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT YOU EAT BETTER.

LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS.

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST.

SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM.

PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE. PITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE.

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL.

WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE.

WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF "SMART."

MAKE IT IDIOT PROOF AND SOMEONE WILL MAKE A BETTER IDIOT.

HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST.

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'RE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

LOTTERY: A TAX ON PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT MATH.

VERY FUNNY SCOTTY. NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES.

PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY.

CONSCIOUSNESS: THAT ANNOYING TIME BETWEEN NAPS.

WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

3 KINDS OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T.

WHY IS "ABBREVIATION" SUCH A LONG WORD?

EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?

DIPLOMACY IS THE ART OF SAYING "NICE DOGGIE!"...TILL YOU CAN FIND A
ROCK.

I LIKE YOU BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU WORKING WITH SUB-ATOMIC
PARTICLES.

"AUNTIE EM: HATE YOU, HATE KANSAS, TAKING THE DOG." -DOROTHY

LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, I CAN FIND IT MYSELF.

ESCHEW OBFUSCATION. (means avoid confusion / overcomplication)

BUMPER STICKER IN THE YEAR 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS

My son is inmate of the month at macomb county jail.

my kid just beat up your honor student.

How's my driving?? Call 1-800-eat-sh*t

PROTECT ANIMAL RIGHTS, BAG AN ACTIVEST.

If your going to ride my ass, the least you can do is pull my hair...That's on my car

"Back off, I'm a Postal Worker" & with NRA decals on either side

MAYBE YOU COULD DRIVE BETTER
WITH YOUR PHONE UP YOUR A$$

HANG UP AND DRIVE

GUN CONTROL MEANS HITTING YOUR TARGET

OR

GUN CONTROL MEANS USING BOTH HANDS

INSURED BY SMITH & WESSON

HAVE A SH!TY DAY

LIFE IS A TRIP AND I'M
ALONG FOR THE RIDE

FBI

Female body Inspector

keep honking, i'm reloading...lol!

Honk if my kid falls out

don't mess with me, for you are combustible and look better on fire

people in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

tell me what you need and I'll tell you how go get along with out it.

Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Nobody notices what I don't do, until I don't do it.

life is a test, and I didn't take very good notes.

Guns kill people like matches cause arson.
To all you virgins-thanks for nothing!