I am looking for a man who is attentive, honest, has a sense of humor, doesn't play games, and is...

Want to hang with someone who is not into drama.

I am also very real and not into playing games.
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Hi! The above are quotes from different profiles on this site.

I can read the words, of course, but I'd like some folks to put it into perspective for me. It seems the memes are repeated in the majority of profiles.

I'm new to the single scene after 14 years of marriage.

Are these pleas against insincerity, one night stands, or scammers?

My sense tells me these are warnings against abnormal behavior, but if that is true why go to the trouble of stating the obvious? Ok, so maybe I'm thinking to hard about the issue, but I really do want to taste the intended connotation.

Thanks for your time.

good luck........you must enjoy camping.......

As you start your adventure into the dating world you will find that some people cannot survive without drama in their lives. Sometimes it finds them but usually it is created by poor choices and bad decisions.

The playing of games is more of a gray area to me. I don't think most people intentionally "play games" but are more reacting based on how their psyche has formed through difficult times in their lives.

JMO

long story short, cause i've said these things before... the statements come from people who have been lied to or cheated on before... or were in relationships where the other partner played a lot of head games.

obviously if your used to that sort of things, YOU DON'T want to go through it again... and that's in upon itself, is ALL they think their looking for... in a nut shell if that's a stand out point of their profile, i'm guessing, their not yet ready for a relationship.... but that depends too, what i said is not allways true.

Like i said, i've been in a couple of these relationships myself, and tho i am looking out for the same thing, i try not to state that as a reqirement, in prospective at least, to the actual traits I DO WANT in a person...

so my suggestion is this: MEN ARE SIMPLE, they say something, that's what they mean.... we guys really don't much beat around the bush, plain and simple. ...also too, a lot of ppl who state those kinda of comments are usually teens / young adults, who have not yet been in what most people would call a mature relationship.... and i include myself in THAT statement, however i DO know what i want in a person, and that's why i'm single right now... because the options which have occured are not what i'm looking for...

sorry went off on my own rant there, got a new keyboard and i like the feel of it ;) ...hope i helped!

Hmmm...
Your post makes me think you feel it is only women that do the head games and drama.

I think you missed the part where I said I was quoting profiles

aw- you can't take him seriously.

I admit I get a red flag every time I see a profile with a disclaimer regarding games. I am not into axe murder either but I don't feel the need to state that.

I've looked at hundreds and hundreds of women's profiles on this site. Something like 95% of them are basically worse than useless. They are either empty, vapid, cliche-ridden, or incomprehensible. I can count on one hand the profiles that actually left me feeling like I knew anything more about the person than I did before I read it!

Here are some examples:

Headline: Looking for new friends (profile empty -- no content)

Headline: hi (profile empty -- no content)

Entire profile: im easygoing

Entire profile: im honest i like to party drink chill

Headline: Sick of attracting the wrong guys.. (profile empty -- no content)

Entire profile: I'm a fun person who likes to have fun

So there really isn't anything to work with.

Typically, in the few profiles that do contain some actual content, that content appears to have been lifted from some sort of boilerplate Dating Site Profiles For (Lazy) Dummies book. Phrases like "I'm easy-going," "I'm laid back," "I don't know what to write here," "I hate writing about myself," "Anything you want to know, you'll have to ask," "No game players," "No drama," "I like to hang out with friends" -- these tell me that the person either isn't interested enough, creative enough, or bright enough to write three coherent sentences about herself.

The examples you cited at the beginning of your post are practically universal in their predictability and commonality.

My impression is that people are just going through the motions, not putting any thought at all into the profile. I do agree with you that some of them may be expressing a desire not to be approached by people looking for "victims," one-night stands, etc. -- but, realistically, is a "game player" going to read this and say "I better not contact HER, she doesn't want a game player" -- ? It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull....

Others, I think are just writing reflexively. They may just be copying language from another profile.

Scammers are rare here (in my experience), and are quickly removed once identified. I think you're in much greater danger of being bored to death than ripped off!!

Excellent Point!!
I still hold firm that the game player and drama king/queens do not know they are such. No, that's not MEEEEE!!

I know i like drama I must because im in it so much .like the action takes away from other stuff going on.

You note that you believe that they may just be pleas against abnormal behaviour and I think that's partially the case. I have also come to the conclusion lately that they may also be an attempt at asserting one's own normalcy. The fact that such disclaimers are so commonplace only reinforces the notion, whether it is correct or incorrect, that saying those things is a good, "normal" thing to do.

I've had a breakthrough recently. I've stopped looking for Ms. Right on dating web sites. The fact of the matter is, neither she nor I will know whether we're right for one another until we've seen each other a few times. I mention a few of my preferences for long-term relationships, but all I've been asking for recently is one date. My ad at Craigslist begins with "Every relationship begins with a single date. That's what I'm looking for."

That was a bit tangential, but the point I was trying to make was that these people asserting their normalcy or pleading for their partner to be normal are looking to get way more out of a dating web site than it's really good for.

As usual Tulsa is right.

Dude- why do you have to so darn young???

smiles not a drama queen...she just plain a bonafide queen

I think that is the single biggest take away anyone can get from here. Profound props, sir. Or would that be profundity props, sir? Eh, leave it for the digital anthropologists...

Hikerchick and Newwaters, I am flattered by your praise. Maybe I'll write a short essay elaborating upon those ideas. I think that a lot of people would be happier with the dating site experience if they used it just to make contact with people who they then try to meet in real life. I used to use online social networking as a substitute for making friends in meatspace and I am glad that I've made progress away from that bad habit.

Hmm, things make more sense to me now. I already have a fulfilling online persona elsewhere and never expected to virtually fulfill a RL need for human contact. I suspect you unconsciously tapped into the same desire exhibited by the very people I'm asking about! So, your epiphany goes a long way to answering my questions.

So, now I'm wondering, bemusedly, not obsessively ;) if I'm the one approaching this site with a minority view. :)

nah- you're fine.

Mine's boring intentionally.... and no cliches.... just one giant one from end to end

Yet someone with an ounce of intellect and can read with any level of depth would get the hint..