I am writing a story and would like unbiased opinion to make it good enough to publish

I If u would have told me then what I know and see now back then would have told you u were crazy! So once alpone a time, My new found friend was taking me to meet her kids and man on the pretense of me becoming their babysitter(the kids not the man HA!). She opend the door and he looked at me his eyes lighting up in a way I've never seen before he was tall with a smile that can light up the darkest anything. But at that moment I was ignorant and unwilling to realize it plus i was with my sons dad and thought wed always be together. The first time the thought of him in anyway besides a friend was one day about a year into me him her and my son's dad were friends I was moving. my mom him her me and my sons dad spent all day packing and moving on the last load to the new house I hoped into my mom's car told them I'd meet them at the new house as we pulled away my mother asked who he was I told her we were good friends and our kids hung out she then preceded to tell me that he was in love with me. It really surprised me the feeling that came over me hearing that he may have feelings for me in any other way than a good friend. I kinda laughed it off telling my crazy *** mom that she was tripping he was with her loved her had a family with her and as far as I knew he preferred white girls and had no urge to pursue anything outside the life and family they had and of course I was with my sons dad and I loved him I truly did so on go the blinders. I truly believe my mom was mistaken our friendship for more and the fact that he was a social butterfly and has the kinda of charisma that draws u in for him wanting to be with me. As time went on the four of us became more like family than friends his and her daughter taught my son to walk we hung out damn near everyday except for one time when my son's stupid *** dad did some real disrespectful **** and almost got thrown over a third story balcony by him which babydad so deserved so for a month after that we we didn't speak until he ended up in the hospital and she was scared and called me. That ended the fude u could say and we picked up where we had left off. The four of us were as close as friends could be except for her and my son's dad they did not like each other at all. I can't even count how many time me and him had to defuse their ****. And when **** hit the fan and life threw out some bull **** it was me and him who always came together to figure it out she was to damn crazy to do much or be much help and baby dad was just worthless .. now know during it all understand that all four of us were damn good parents and our kids love the he'll outta each other but when the kids were taken care of and grown up time came about we rocked out with our clocks out. Jammed out with our clams out. Now I have been a functional drug addict since I was 14 believe it or not Im actually worthless af sober but high I get it done like a ****ing superstar but while pregnant and breastfeeding I only smoked weed. My son was born the 30th of December so after his first birthday I decided to party it up. Now over the years I had done my fair share of substances and figured out what I preferred doing I don't drink but I love to be high I'm not proud of it but it's fact. But I digress the four of us got some coke one night and had fun slowly it became a more regular thing now we always went to their house mine was to damn hot. Like I said I've been getting high on various things for years and I'm far from a dummy. It didn't take me long to realize that something wasn't quite right with the high but I just couldn't put my finger on it. No one else seemed to notice but I kept my antenna up. I noticed that after awhile he would disappear and since it wasn't my house I really couldn't go investigate until one day when it was. I don't remember y we decided to party at my house but we did and just like clockwork he disappeared. This was my chance her and baby dad were distracted I b-lined it for my bathroom surprisingly the door wasn't locked but the light was on I opened the door and there he was sitting on the toilet pipe in one hand Rock in the other. Now remember when I said I'm pretty ****ing smart. I instantly knew that from day one we hadn't been doing coke at all. He had been crushing up Crack and passing it off to us as coke. Me being me I gave him an a choice. Either u tell them or I will. Hands in his pockets with the look of a cat who ate the canary on his face he came clean. To both of our surprise her and baby daddy took the truth pretty well and we just kinda brushed off his indiscretion poped it in a pipe and did the damn thing. Not the best decision but I said I'm smart never that I had good decisions making skills. Now out of the four of us I was the the best at funcnting no matter how high or what needed to be done. I was also the one that no one could tell I was just as high as everyone else and wouldn't step out of character steal hoe or sell my kids **** for it now don't get me wrong I have ****ed up and spent way more then I should or smoked **** I shouldn't have and had to find away to fix it but that's a hole nother story let me get back to this one. So we started calling the drug happiness and everyday we would plot and plan to get it as much as possible and with my gift of gab and manipulation skills like no other his special way he could throw out the prettiest ******** ever and the hardest working man I've ever met she had the ability to lie so convincingly to her made of money dad who lived over seas manipulating him by using her crazy pretty good acting skills and his guilt for what she had been through that exasperated her crazy and making her family believe she wasn't as smart as she was. Honestly if she hadn't done to me and him what she had causing me to lode all respect for her we still be friends and I wouldn't be writing this story but she did but I'll get into all that later in the tale so keep reading. Anyways got off track haha it happens where was I oh yeah our special skills for getting happiness as much as possible last and most expendable was baby dad his skill was just blatantly lie and con or use the fact that the dope men wanted to **** me and knowing I would never do it we would get so much free and fronted ****. But the easier it got to get it the more we got, the more we got the more we lost our selves into it starting with her . The first time I realized she was in more then she could control was the same day I realized I cared about him more then I should have. We had been up partying for two three days him and her were staying with me untitled could get into their place. It. Now before I continue I must make yall aware of a couple important facts to make sure u really get it now the way I am right is right wrong is wrong I'm very loyal and friend is a very strong word that I take to heart if I call u a friend I got ur back no matter what ya know but on the flip side if u do me dirty especially a friend or I lose respect for u for whatever reason I can be known to get vindictive and petty. I'm also bat **** crazy hands down so I xan deal with crazy now she had multiple personalities among other things but she was my friend and I really did care about her had her back and was there for her at the drop of a hat day or night . I was her only friend and tried to help her in any way like I said we were family. So with that in mind where we're we oh up for days ok so the next day I had surgery so I told them no more it was time to call it a night they said ok and I went to he'd it wasn't long before I heard them start to bicker I didn't get involved it had nothing to do with me until I hears her threaten to call the cops. We don't do cops that is a definite no go. So I go see wtf and she is snapping I had babydad and his brother remove the party favors out the house and very sternly convinced her that the cops probably not the best idea to call them. I still have no clue what started all this to begin with. I was going back and forth with her she had a sharp tongue but that's about it . She couldn't fight her way out a wet paper bag and knew better then to try me before her mouth wrote a check her *** couldn't cash she redirected her **** back on him know he wasn't confrontational unless provoked and wouldn't raise a hand to a female so when out of nowhere she cocked backed and shaped the **** outta him and that was it for me. Instantly my my anger flared like never before knowing she was a cop caller I barely stopped myself and instead of snatching her up I told her if she ever in her ****ing life put hands on him like that again I was going to stomp her like a ***** in the street not realizing how close I was to ****ing her up in ways not even I can explain she replied with his my man so and before she could finish I told her I didn't give a **** who's man he was if she ever put hands on him again he may not hit her back but I would and dared her to test my gangsta she must have finally realized the series need of the situation because she backed up real quick. The hole situation shocked me not because of the drama but because of how strongly I felt to seeing him being treaded like he wasn't the most amazing man I have never felt so strongly about anything or anyone that wasn't one of my kids.

Hiya SadAndConfused,

It reads like or kinda like a personal story, but yeah it was interesting enough to want to keep reading.

It kind of feels like I'm reading the story part way in.

And personally I like stories with a brief introduction to the key players and then story unwinds, where as this feels like I'm reading it half way in.

Sure, there's promise there, but it needs polishing up, spell check it, re-read it because some words are joined up and some are missing?

And try to break it up into nice paragraphs, because it's just a block of hard text now...

Also,

Try to emphasise the words spoken to each other in speech marks or quotes, so it's clear which bits are spoken and which bits are the story continuation...

Overall, I found it interesting enough to want to read more...

This is just MY opinion and I'm not literary in any sense...