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| Topic: Marriage: Forever or Obsolete | |
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The relationship behind that slip of paper matters quite a lot, but that slip of paper is a statement saying you want to make sure the other person is taken care of should you die before them. A domestic partner, significant other (which ever title you prefer) is not entitled to medical benefits should they get sick and not have them on their own. They do not get pensions their partners have paid into during their careers. So to me, the idea of marriage is to make sure that the person you love is to be taken care of even after you are not there to protect them. The love and the relationship bring you together, but the marriage should show off that you love and want the best for your mate, even after you have passed on. Just my opinion though...... That's a fairly new addition to the concept of marriage...the original idea is the same as that of a hand-fastening...it's the bonding of two hearts, two souls, two lives into one...it's not the loss of an individual's identity...but gaining an entirely new one... I agree with Peachie but I have seen people older that were left with nothing and kicked our of their houses b/c nothing was in their name.. The love and trust were there but that legal bond wasn't so they were out in the cold that is heartbreaking and because of that I can understand eileena's point... |
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I agree with Peachie but I have seen people older that were left with nothing and kicked our of their houses b/c nothing was in their name.. The love and trust were there but that legal bond wasn't so they were out in the cold that is heartbreaking and because of that I can understand eileena's point... there's legal ways around those situations...beyond getting married... |
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You couldn't abolish marriage. Marriage is one of the oldest institutions, and you are not the first philosopher :-) to criticize (or be concerned about) marriage. In Plato's Republic, marriage is heavily criticized and he encourages "group marriages" instead of the devotion to a single individual.
When you look at marriage from one point of view, i.e., as a way to cement romantic love, then you also forget that many people marry for many reasons, not just love. But isn't that what we seek in the end? For many, marriage is a convention, a social expectation, it has financial rewards and incentives, some are forced into marriage. When you look at marriages cross-culturally, you find that people marry for any of these reasons: legal, social and economic stability; to form a family; to become a citizen of a state or country; to procreate, educate and nuture children; for sexual relations (otherwise "immoral" in the view of many communities); or for love (ah!). That marriages end and don't last forever does not make them beneficial for the time they existed. We are human beings who make mistakes and hopefully grow from those mistakes. I personally am more concerned about two human beings living their lives in disharmony and unhappiness as opposed to two who decide to call it quits and search out true happiness. Divorce can be a beautiful thing. Especially if you marry young and stupid. Handwashing is not a congruent analogy to marriage. We wash our hands to be sanitary. Though you can draw some moral purpose to handwashing (looking out for others' best interests, keeping yourself safe and sanitary), it hardly measures up to an institution. Outside religious groups, many people do not consider non-marital sexual relations between two consenting adults to be immoral. And, secondly, sex, like marriage, fulfills many functions for many different people, not just procreation. When you look at the world through a narrow moral compass, of course it can seem quite dysfunctional. That two people work does not destroy the institution of marriage either. Most people need to work in order to survive or because it fulfills some need outside of the marriage. Not all marriages end up with children, so what is wrong with two people working and having their own divergent interests? We are complicated organisms with many different purposes and everyone comes to life with a different moral compass. This is what bothers me: We lie. We lie over and over again about what defines happiness. Like we need some June and Ward Clever lifestyle and two little boys who get cookies and milk everyday after school. We are living in a very abundant universe with a lot of fascinating people. Yet we continue to lie and perpetuate problems that are not real problems. Yes, I am a divorcee and a single mom. But who's problem is that? It's not a problem. I am happier now than I ever was married, and my children are just fine, too. Follow your bliss. Stop judging the world. Marry. Don't marry. Have sex. Go celibate. Whatever gets your goat. |
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You couldn't abolish marriage. Marriage is one of the oldest institutions, and you are not the first philosopher :-) to criticize (or be concerned about) marriage. In Plato's Republic, marriage is heavily criticized and he encourages "group marriages" instead of the devotion to a single individual. When you look at marriage from one point of view, i.e., as a way to cement romantic love, then you also forget that many people marry for many reasons, not just love. But isn't that what we seek in the end? For many, marriage is a convention, a social expectation, it has financial rewards and incentives, some are forced into marriage. When you look at marriages cross-culturally, you find that people marry for any of these reasons: legal, social and economic stability; to form a family; to become a citizen of a state or country; to procreate, educate and nuture children; for sexual relations (otherwise "immoral" in the view of many communities); or for love (ah!). That marriages end and don't last forever does not make them beneficial for the time they existed. We are human beings who make mistakes and hopefully grow from those mistakes. I personally am more concerned about two human beings living their lives in disharmony and unhappiness as opposed to two who decide to call it quits and search out true happiness. Divorce can be a beautiful thing. Especially if you marry young and stupid. Handwashing is not a congruent analogy to marriage. We wash our hands to be sanitary. Though you can draw some moral purpose to handwashing (looking out for others' best interests, keeping yourself safe and sanitary), it hardly measures up to an institution. Outside religious groups, many people do not consider non-marital sexual relations between two consenting adults to be immoral. And, secondly, sex, like marriage, fulfills many functions for many different people, not just procreation. When you look at the world through a narrow moral compass, of course it can seem quite dysfunctional. That two people work does not destroy the institution of marriage either. Most people need to work in order to survive or because it fulfills some need outside of the marriage. Not all marriages end up with children, so what is wrong with two people working and having their own divergent interests? We are complicated organisms with many different purposes and everyone comes to life with a different moral compass. This is what bothers me: We lie. We lie over and over again about what defines happiness. Like we need some June and Ward Clever lifestyle and two little boys who get cookies and milk everyday after school. We are living in a very abundant universe with a lot of fascinating people. Yet we continue to lie and perpetuate problems that are not real problems. Yes, I am a divorcee and a single mom. But who's problem is that? It's not a problem. I am happier now than I ever was married, and my children are just fine, too. Follow your bliss. Stop judging the world. Marry. Don't marry. Have sex. Go celibate. Whatever gets your goat. what if i don't have a goat? |
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Edited by
eileena9
on
Thu 01/03/08 10:01 PM
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I stated my views that way because of comments that marriage is just a slip of paper...........it means more to me than that, or I wouldn't be with the man in the picture, TheCaptain. I just stated the things that that "slip of paper" provides you with.
To me, marriage is not about becoming a possession that is an idiotic way of thinking of it. Marriage is about sharing your feelings with the one person you hold more important and more dear than any other man or woman you meet. You can have these feelings for more than one person, hence the re-marriages after things didn't work out or a death. But in a marriage you are holding ONE person above all others, so polygamy isn't my choice. All of us grow as individuals over time and to be able to share in that growth with someone, for me, is an incredible thing. I hope I made it clearer that benefits and pensions are not what I am about. |
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Edited by
deltasissy
on
Thu 01/03/08 10:03 PM
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"what if i don't have a goat?"
rent one |
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Eileena9,
I could not agree more and I'm happy you have found eachother. Love is beautiful when it's right! |
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