I have posted many times about my ex I was only with for a month and a half. If you really want to know the whole story there are many threads about her that I started since day one of our relationship. Anyway, I really fell for her hard and fast, and since she broke up with me on Christmas I can't stop thinking about her. I have a date on Sunday night with another girl, but I have no idea how to get this other girl out of my head. Anyone have any ideas on how to motivate myself? I'm actually feeling severe depression sometimes over her, and it's really not worth it.

hi, its so hard when ur in love with someone to move on, and no matter what anyone says on here, it wont change the way you feel, because the heart does not listen to the head, otherwise it would be easy to get over someone, i know how u feel, however, you need to look at that as a past relationship, and try to look at what was negative about the relationship, even though you often only remember the good times. Sometimes you have to just move on and it isnt easy, but time is a great healer. Go out on sat when you have your date, just take things slowly, look at it as just mates and then build on that, because you will be comparing her to your ex without even realising,. Just remember that life is short, and you never know what is around the corner, things have a funny way of working themselves out, good luck and be strong. xx

Yeah take a break from dating. No one likes a rebounder. There is an old saying, know thy self. Work on getting to know yourself.

Dont know that a person can fall in love in a month and 1/2. If its the case that you are in love then ride it out and find another girl to help you forgit the one.
If its infatuation then you are kinda SOL for the short term (kinda like a drug)until it passes, the medicine is still the same though another girl.
Sorry to break to you this way but it was necessary!


Hope you have fun on your date.

Been there done that brotha! Don't sweat it. You will be fine. In fact, dating someone else is rather good or focus on your work will help.

Remember though to respect the other person's feelings if it progresses. It's not fair to her to be used as a comfort zone or rebound girl. If you are really interested in her then go for it.:

Time will heal and then you won't give your ex a second thought. Trust me!

Peace

I know for a fact it wasn't love, I don't know what it was, I just know that I miss her.

I do seem like I am on the rebound, I will probably just go on that date and that may be it for a while. I'm not too sure if I am ready to take that chance of getting a broken heart again. I think the reason I am so hurt is because I treated her so good. She did tell me that I did everything right when she broke up with me, but she also told me that I called her too much and wanted to see her too much, so I am guessing I was too suffocating. She also revealed that she is asexual when she broke up with me, that's why she didn't kiss me in that amount of time we were together.
I need to learn to slow things down a bit.

So be it. But keep yourself busy. Don't sit around and mope, not good.

stay busy, find hobbies

As I'm getting older I find it very hard to care about anyone who doesn't care about me. I find that I enjoy being by myself. If someone special comes along then so be it. If not then thats okay too. I did notice that there are a lot of players on these dating sites and your ex may be one of them.So you need to pick your self up and give someone else a chance. Next time around try to keep your emotions guarded and hopefully that should keep you from getting hurt

I say get out, go on dates and have fun. Yeah no one likes to be a rebound, but if your interested enough in them they won't be. How will you know if you don't get back out there and get into the swing of things again. When the time is right things will fall in line.

Oh I haven't posted on this thread yet?

Well, now I am.

I'll have to say that this is one of the only things about the dating world I cannot offer clear, direct guidance in. However, I can show you one path you can take that will lead to a slow and steady change for the better. oldsage posted in another thread:

About 4 years ago, I was totally in love with this one girl had a fling with for 3 weeks during a summer camp thing. After those 3 weeks, we talked on the phone every day for about 10 months. Getting a call from her made my day every day and felt really happy every time I talked to her.

After those many months, she finally moved on and got this boyfriend (who ironically seemed a lot like ME lol). I started seeing a number of girls, but none of them could measure up to this girl who was on my mind for years... and yes, it took me literally a few years to get over her haha

But, yes, I'm pretty sure I actually am over her now, and it took time and effort, and it was well worth it. I tried keeping an open mind the whole time, trying to believe that she didn't necessarily have to be "the one" and I shouldn't let myself suffer and go undated because of this. I can't waste the wonder that is me haha

So, all I can tell ya is to live life for all it's worth, man. Try to let go of the past that doesn't help the present, and if it's hard, just keep trying. Your optimism and perseverance shall overcome any obstacle you face.

Hey, I sound like a fortune cookie.

Don't make any racist comments, now, LOL

It hurts to be rejected. I think that might be part of it, especially when you were nice to her. I was really nice to this guy and believed him when he told me he was interested in me, and then a little while ago he told me he was going to pursue something with a woman who has rejected him repeatedly- for 3 years, she even has a live-in bf but he won't take no for an answer, just hoping she will change her mind. Talk about hurt! I like you and you're rejecting me on the offchance she'll take you? BS!! So I know how you feel. Just be honest with the person you're going out with, it's not fair to date someone when you want someone else and the person you're dating wants you.

When you think about "the ex"...just think about what a clam she was by dumping you on Christmas. Go out on the date and have fun..!! remember, while on the date...don't use her as an "emotional tampon"

thanks everyone

Usually people only remember the best times. Get out and have fun with anybody. BUT whatever you do, if your dating, DON'T mention the ex you miss. Take her OUT of your mind. Never talk about her or you will never forget her.

I would never talk about an ex to someone I was dating

unless she started talking about her ex's, then she will get some stories out of me.

and then we will never go on another date again, haha

LOL, yeah thats a bad sign when the person keeps on about an ex. Means she needs to go home and forget him. I hope your date goes well. You can just have fun, no pressure.