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| Topic: 46, single over 7 years.. where do i go from here? | |
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Hi, so.. the last several years have been just one big emotional roller coaster for me. In 2018-19 time, my ex and i split.. but we hadn’t even been sexually active with each other for a couple years at that point.. it had just run its course. Since then…I’m now going into my later 40s. I’ve denied and completely ran from any kind of emotional connection with anyone since. (I was hurt in pretty much every relationship I’ve ever been in.. so it all hit me at once).
I hide behind my computer all day. I game. And that is literally my social life for years now. It’s safe. But i don’t know if something is wrong with me or what. I get my flirt on with gamers.. but the minute they start saying, i want to meet you..i unfriend them or find a way to just not talk to them anymore. I have such a fear of being intimate in any way. And frankly i don’t really care about it but at the same time i question why i don’t bc it was so big for me back in the day.. but for me now.,i haven’t been with anyone intimately since Nov 2017.. not even a kiss. I’ve been depressed for years now but the thought of trying to start something with someone makes my anxiety go thru the roof and i just go and hide behind my computer again. Yet, I’m so alone and i know that’s causing or not helping my depression at all. I find myself making excuses of why i can’t be with anyone.. but what it all boils down to is I don’t like myself i think and i don’t want to put that on anyone else ever again. But why the 0 sex drive??? Why do i have no desire/or why do i have such a fear i should say…of the thought of being intimate with someone to the point where i just feel like im wasting away in a pit of hopelessness.. i was never like this before. I was your typical Leo, talkative, bright, center of attention type of girl who just always wanted to have a good time. And now I’m not even the same person.. all bc of the trauma in my past relationships and life in general that i had a breakdown.. but 5 years later?? I can’t snap out of it. I honestly don’t know what to do.. I’m scared. I’m lonely as hell in every way.. and ya, i just need advice. Or something. Sorry this was so long.. you only got the tip of the iceberg but thanks for reading :) Jayme |
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Sounds like you may of been in a narcissistic relationship and that has completely stripped you of your identity, confidence and self worth, possibly look at any documentation on how to recover from such a relationship, find a group of girlfriends to go out with ( anything in general) not necessarily bars and clubs just social outings to gain confidence in group situations and handling crowds, i would also suggest reiki, to help unblock negative energy and allow the positive energy to flow once again, hope this helps in some way shape or form
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Hi, so.. the last several years have been just one big emotional roller coaster for me. In 2018-19 time, my ex and i split.. but we hadn’t even been sexually active with each other for a couple years at that point.. it had just run its course. Since then…I’m now going into my later 40s. I’ve denied and completely ran from any kind of emotional connection with anyone since. (I was hurt in pretty much every relationship I’ve ever been in.. so it all hit me at once). I hide behind my computer all day. I game. And that is literally my social life for years now. It’s safe. But i don’t know if something is wrong with me or what. I get my flirt on with gamers.. but the minute they start saying, i want to meet you..i unfriend them or find a way to just not talk to them anymore. I have such a fear of being intimate in any way. And frankly i don’t really care about it but at the same time i question why i don’t bc it was so big for me back in the day.. but for me now.,i haven’t been with anyone intimately since Nov 2017.. not even a kiss. I’ve been depressed for years now but the thought of trying to start something with someone makes my anxiety go thru the roof and i just go and hide behind my computer again. Yet, I’m so alone and i know that’s causing or not helping my depression at all. I find myself making excuses of why i can’t be with anyone.. but what it all boils down to is I don’t like myself i think and i don’t want to put that on anyone else ever again. But why the 0 sex drive??? Why do i have no desire/or why do i have such a fear i should say…of the thought of being intimate with someone to the point where i just feel like im wasting away in a pit of hopelessness.. i was never like this before. I was your typical Leo, talkative, bright, center of attention type of girl who just always wanted to have a good time. And now I’m not even the same person.. all bc of the trauma in my past relationships and life in general that i had a breakdown.. but 5 years later?? I can’t snap out of it. I honestly don’t know what to do.. I’m scared. I’m lonely as hell in every way.. and ya, i just need advice. Or something. Sorry this was so long.. you only got the tip of the iceberg but thanks for reading :) Jayme It's hard to get back into it but not impossible. Take yor time. Dobt get into a relationship and just hang out. Make some male friends you can enjoy drinks or dinner with until you get comfortable again |
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hello
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Hi, so.. the last several years have been just one big emotional roller coaster for me. In 2018-19 time, my ex and i split.. but we hadn’t even been sexually active with each other for a couple years at that point.. it had just run its course. Since then…I’m now going into my later 40s. I’ve denied and completely ran from any kind of emotional connection with anyone since. (I was hurt in pretty much every relationship I’ve ever been in.. so it all hit me at once). I hide behind my computer all day. I game. And that is literally my social life for years now. It’s safe. But i don’t know if something is wrong with me or what. I get my flirt on with gamers.. but the minute they start saying, i want to meet you..i unfriend them or find a way to just not talk to them anymore. I have such a fear of being intimate in any way. And frankly i don’t really care about it but at the same time i question why i don’t bc it was so big for me back in the day.. but for me now.,i haven’t been with anyone intimately since Nov 2017.. not even a kiss. I’ve been depressed for years now but the thought of trying to start something with someone makes my anxiety go thru the roof and i just go and hide behind my computer again. Yet, I’m so alone and i know that’s causing or not helping my depression at all. I find myself making excuses of why i can’t be with anyone.. but what it all boils down to is I don’t like myself i think and i don’t want to put that on anyone else ever again. But why the 0 sex drive??? Why do i have no desire/or why do i have such a fear i should say…of the thought of being intimate with someone to the point where i just feel like im wasting away in a pit of hopelessness.. i was never like this before. I was your typical Leo, talkative, bright, center of attention type of girl who just always wanted to have a good time. And now I’m not even the same person.. all bc of the trauma in my past relationships and life in general that i had a breakdown.. but 5 years later?? I can’t snap out of it. I honestly don’t know what to do.. I’m scared. I’m lonely as hell in every way.. and ya, i just need advice. Or something. Sorry this was so long.. you only got the tip of the iceberg but thanks for reading :) Jayme maybe i can help you |
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hello Hello |
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I agree, it's definitely difficult to get back into it. Especially if you don't know that you want to or not. I think for me it's hard to find someone that is interested in the same things that I am. And when I do it seems to turn out fraudulent. For example. I try to get to know someone and Express what I like to do outdoors. Always the same response. Oh yeah. I love doing outdoors and things fishing and hiking, shooting guns and what not. But when it comes down to ithey either get scared or they act busy. I've been trying to go to the places where like-minded people would be hanging out. But in my area, people are pretty snooty.
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Yep
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hello hi good morning |
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