Well, now I find myself CONFUSED & FRUSTRATED BUT HAPPY!!???

I've told myself and others, I can't do long distance relationships. I have tried before and it just gets too damn frustrating for me.

Yesterday I get an e-mail from a woman who is just making a comment on a "joke" I had said in one of the threads. So we exchange a few e-mails and all of a sudden a day later we are already talking on the phone (no its NOT about sex).

Amazingly we find so many very "core" things we have in common, some even very rare traits we share in common. It's rather "scary" to both of us.

Guess what the problem is...she lives halfway across the freakin country!!! Arrrggghhh!!!

We both realize this is a problem...but the chemestry is there for both of us already. One of those really weird, totally unexpected hits that knock you on your butt from left field!


Finding great chemestry..being on the same level...at least for me is a VERY RARE THING! But simply not sure HOW to approach this one with the distance issue...because it WILL be a problem for me in time.

Anyone who has had a successful long distance relationship have any advise here??? We are talking, not going to jump into anything too deep yet..but this one is RARE and I know that it is. And we plan to continue talking and exploring our compatability in all the areas and see what happens.

I'm simply scared to death of the "distance" issue..but I want to see where this one may go.

HELPPPPP!!!!!!

you are in a tough spot........

Well first off, if you feel that much chemistry just from chatting online, don't you think you should meet first? Before getting serious about it, you should see what its like in person. I understand where you're coming from but spending actual time with someone can make a world of difference.

congrats, I would stick with it , it is possible . Might be the best thing you ever had. Life is all about chances . Good luck !

If neither one of you ever plans on moving closer to the other anytime down the road, I don't see the point in continuing... If it is at least an option that one of you would consider, then go for it.

i don't have successful relationships with women a block away let alone across the country.

I wish I could shed some light on this other than to say to her right from the begining that someone eventually has to move. Because you dont want long distance. Will it be you or her has to be talked about.

First thing to remember that people can and will tell you what you want to hear. It is easy to be fooled on the phone or by chat (email) believe me i know. I have made a lot of friends online that live hours away and have visited them and alot of times they arent the one and the same. anywho good luck
rach

visit each other if it love one of yall move.lifes an adventure

Oh agreed. I'm 42 and she a a few years younger..so many other things that may have played a factor in younger years will not here. Experience in life and relationships do help get past many of the other things and you basically already know many of those from the start. But yes..meeting in person certainly would happen before getting "serious".

But when you find "core" things..and that means those really 'deep" and important issues and you are on the same page on those....thats a STRONG attraction.

I do wish you all the best with this one. That kind of connection , even in emails and phone calls is the greatest euphoria ever. So work as hard as you can to work things to your satisfaction.

just take ur time... u may be hering what u want to hear...

time will tell

Talk to Tiger & Rae, Florida & New York

I had a long distance marriage.Pa to FLA.Not to far.but far enough.

I had to stay cause my kids were still in high school and I wasn't taking them away from their dad.

So for me I had no issues.I was in my environment.Travel I did.

My husband after 1 month of marriage...instead of waiting the 3 yrs weagreed upon...then I would go..chose to go for his dream of openening a beautiful 3 1/2 star restaurant.Well it didn't work out.But he bacame very controlling etc.From afar.So yes it ended.

I do believe with the right ppl it can work.Or at least worth taking a chance.Many airline tickets to be bought...lol...if all works out..unfortunately some one has to give more....and move....

I feel for u.Huge risk...Take ur time...I hope for the best for u both....please don't feel because it doesn't work for most that it can't work for u.....the mix just has to be just right...

My best to u

Z

It IS unusual to find that kind of connection with someone. Especially when "core" values are in common. Would either of you be in a position to move at some point?

Thanks Oldsage..can you let them know about this thread so they can comment??

At some point yes..but not a determined time frame at this point. Both have some things going on right now, so no immediate availability for a move.

Its all very new. it's just those common "core" things is what blows me away and they are ones I simply would be a fool to ignore. But confused on how to proceed to make such a thing work til a move is possible.

Well, let me see......I am here on Long Island NY and Jon, TheCaptain is in Idaho, close to the Oregon border. There is 2,559 miles between us and we have been making things work for the past seven months. It takes a lot of phone calls, text messaging, e-mails, letters and time spent on IMing each other but it can work. If you both are as taken with each other as you say, let things progress at their own time, when it feels right arrange a visit, don't just jump to it now because things are still so new. We consider our phone calls and our time on the web cam to be our "dates" and when we have met in person----those are our "special times" and I am planning on selling my house this summer and moving to be with him.

Good luck with you new-found special someone!!

go for a visit....then see if the fire works continue...easy to talk about core value over the net or phone...see if it works in person...

Better to check it sooner than later....

I tried a long distance "getting to know you." I went to a job interview in Flagstaff, Arizona and met someone who also had all my core values. We spent the weekend together, went to the Grand Canyon, Sedona and the sparks were flying! I thought he was perfect.

We communicated every other day once I returned. Then about 2 weeks later I saw a different side. He raised his voice to me, judged me and put me down.

I thought he was everything too. As a friend of mine says, "You are only meeting their representative for the first few months." Get to know her before you get your hopes up. At least see how she reacts to uncomfortable situations/ conversations.

By the way, very nice profile - I like the puppy pics!