Topic: Beyond Words
CrazyBitsAsian's photo
Sat 01/06/24 06:47 AM
My heart will whisper in the wind the words my lips failed to say to you and hoping the wind will carry them through and whisper them in your ears loud enough that your heart would feel the exact feelings my heart wishes to convey... "I love you beyond words could ever say!"

JulieABush's photo
Sat 01/06/24 11:28 AM
Nice write:thumbsup: .

CrazyBitsAsian's photo
Sat 01/06/24 12:29 PM

Nice write:thumbsup: .


Thank you, JulieABush!

Laska Paul 's photo
Sun 01/07/24 08:24 AM
As a General rule , most of your Lines should start and end with a concrete words . Stanza breaks are much more important . This does not mean that your Poetry is bad . its okay , but as a reader I felt something is Missing . So best of luck next time .!

CrazyBitsAsian's photo
Mon 01/08/24 08:50 PM

As a General rule , most of your Lines should start and end with a concrete words . Stanza breaks are much more important . This does not mean that your Poetry is bad . its okay , but as a reader I felt something is Missing . So best of luck next time .!


Hi Paul! Thank you for your tip, i will definitely keep that in mind if i ever wish to write poetry... however, what i have been posting here is not in any way meant to be a poem. They were notes, letters, messages sent to an ex-boyfriend from a long time ago... would the revised message below pass the general rule you mentioned? :smile: laugh :wink:

you are right though - as a reader there is something missing - because as i am reading my words, i am also missing him so freaking much!

Concrete words, my heart will whisper in the wind, concrete words
concrete words, the words my lips failed to say to you, concrete words

concrete words, hoping the wind will carry them through, concrete words
concrete words, and whisper them in your ears, concrete words
concrete words, loud enough that your heart would feel, concrete words
concrete words, the exact feelings, concrete words
concrete words, my heart wishes to convey, concrete words

concrete words, i love you beyond words could ever say, concrete words

Laska Paul 's photo
Tue 01/09/24 06:25 AM


As a General rule , most of your Lines should start and end with a concrete words . Stanza breaks are much more important . This does not mean that your Poetry is bad . its okay , but as a reader I felt something is Missing . So best of luck next time .!


Hi Paul! Thank you for your tip, i will definitely keep that in mind if i ever wish to write poetry... however, what i have been posting here is not in any way meant to be a poem. They were notes, letters, messages sent to an ex-boyfriend from a long time ago... would the revised message below pass the general rule you mentioned? :smile: laugh :wink:

you are right though - as a reader there is something missing - because as i am reading my words, i am also missing him so freaking much!

Concrete words, my heart will whisper in the wind, concrete words
concrete words, the words my lips failed to say to you, concrete words

concrete words, hoping the wind will carry them through, concrete words
concrete words, and whisper them in your ears, concrete words
concrete words, loud enough that your heart would feel, concrete words
concrete words, the exact feelings, concrete words
concrete words, my heart wishes to convey, concrete words

concrete words, i love you beyond words could ever say, concrete words


I give it a grant to all your concrete words you have mentioned . I also know that this Statement is clearly written for you Ex . However , I would say he is so Unlucky to know that a Piece of Gem is Lost, which is YOU . Dont stop your Writing we look forward for your next Poem ASAP ...