I've been thinking about rewriting this thing for awhile now and instead of the same ole "check out my profile" thread which makes me feel like someone is trying to up their profile view numbers I figured I'd just post it here and see what others think. it's really for another site but I figured I'd get suggestions here.

Some headlines I'm thinking of using
1.Don't Tase me Bro
2.up up down down left right left right B, A
3.Body by Nintendo, Brain by Smirnoff, Dance by US Robotics
4.I love smartly done stupid humor
5.Just like a Platypus
6.Cooler than a cybernetic ninja pirate
(I'm thinking of using number 3)

Profile:
I like sneaking up on people taking long walks on the beach and shoving them into the water. I hate fun, whenever I find myself having a good time I punch myself in the groin. I'd also like to take this moment to remind people who are looking for their princes and princesses that we live in a democratic republic with elected officials. I'm not a glass half full kinda guy, you shouldn't date these jerks. I would top off your glass. I'm a tad impish, a touch puckish, a bit of mischief with a second helping of sarcastic.

No, I don't meet that arbitrary 6' tall height requirement that every female online dater sets, I'm 5'7 but if we go out, I promise to bring along my pogo stick so I'd be at least 6'4 50% of the time. I am employed, independent, and motivated to craft a life that is financially stable, personally fulfilling, and overflowing with laughter.

I'm a notorious do-gooder I steal one sock from each dryer at the local laundromats to ensure that people can pair up all their socks, I hold open doors when people are just far enough away to make feel guilty and start hurrying. I'm the kind of guy who'd stick a quarter in an expiring meter to save a stranger a large fine, or doggie bag my leftovers to give to a homeless guy. I strongly believe in having a sense of honor, and integrity and feel these ideals just aren't mentioned enough these days. There are more important things out there than material goods, and celebrity gossip.

My predilection towards Seinfeld has led me to celebrate festivus, which requires me to air my grivences and then wrestle my surprised dinner guests to the ground. I love comedies along the lines of Adam Sandler movies, Dave Chapelle stand up, and Family Guy. I also like cartoon art, dancing like a robot, eating sushi and dimsum, old school nintendo and new school basketweaving.

Looking for my vigilante sidekick to team up with and bring all these people who are looking for their partners in crime to justice, as an added bonus capes are more fun than ski masks. Should be someone who can be silly, goofy, cuddly, warm, sarcastic and witty. Intellectual, independent and a fully functional circulatory system would be nice as well. If you fit the above I'll overlook the lack of super speed or telekinesis. I'm thinking of checking out the Philadelphia Zoo sometime in the near future so if you'd like to go drop me a line. We can go round up criminals afterwards.


Any constructive criticism is welcome.

I like the headline

I personally prefer # 2 and # 6... although 3 isn't bad... just not quite as original as 2 and 6.

Yee ha geek! Egads my good man I think you have a winner!

Waal now as a porfessional porfile riter I have to say yer pogo stick ideer is a stroke of GEENYUS!

Sumthin wrong with us, very very WRONG with us...

shoot! i know #2 is the ACTUAL CODE to one game or another, but i can't recall what it was.... i have entered that code way too many times in my day, i just can't recall to get what!

I like it - all of it. Great sense of humor. Love headline #3. If I were half my age and living in ur town, I'd look u up.

It's the konami code, several games used this back in the day of the original NES. Contra was one of them.

Iconic, I'm going back and forth from 3 and 6.

I would pick #1 or #2. Your profile really catches the readers attention. I sound like a teacher... Don't mind me.

Geek...

I am thinking about adjusting mine for the new year...

Yeah # 6 is way better then my mundane headline. Perhaps you should go into professional profile blurbs. Yeah I bet you could become a quad gazillionaire. <--- don't think thats a word yet...

The thing I hate about match and to a lesser degree this site is that on searches your headlines don't appear in it's entirety. On match you're relegated to 22 characters which includes spaces. On this site they don't show up at all in search and only 18 characters show up in mutual. I don't mind here so much cause there's also a forum to get known but in the end you get looked at or clicked on mainly for your picture.

so number 6 ends up being

Cooler than a cybernet... when viewed from a match search. So there is something to be said for trying to make your headline fit depending on how searches are done.

geek, that was just too damn funny!!

Okay so far I've learned that my profile seems to mostly attract males

I read a lot of profiles from other sites female ones, male ones (of course i hide mine when doing this so I don't weird people out) and the majority of profiles are so boring, cliched, lacking in personality or any semblence of attempt at humor I figured I'd at least get some views or comments but I still hear crickets chirping which is why I wanted to get opinions.

So ladies, is it too long? too sarcastic? Do I come off as a jerk, or someone who has mental issues? Should I tone it down and boring it up more?

2 is good
but why not Fission Mailed?
lol

Geek..........I loved it!! What do you do with all the socks you steal from the dryers????? Do they become the infamous sock monkey puppets we all know and love???

Good reading....a close second to Aaronzdad


geeks rock

And humor is the only way to a woman's heart

I'm not a lady, but if you think yours is that bad, just read mine, lol