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Topic: Time on your own..
no photo
Tue 11/01/22 11:07 PM
Yes, by choice, as no one meets my criteria. I'm too old-fashioned for this modern world. Totally expect to die alone.

no photo
Wed 11/02/22 01:48 AM




I separated in January 1998, divorced in 1999. Had a few short relationships (for approx 3 months) that ended for one reason or another, the last being in 2008. While I don't mind my own company there were (and still are) times that I thought/think it would be nice to have a partner.

How long have you spent on your own?

Are you seeking self-affirmation?
I'm not seeking anything..


I mistakenly used the word self-affirmation instead of self-assurance. Anyway, do you regret any past relationship decision you made?
No, I made decisions at the time that I thought were right. But you don't know what is in front of you which can change the way you see someone and the way they see you. I've tried to stay positive that someone compatible will come into my life.

no photo
Wed 11/02/22 01:50 AM

Yes, by choice, as no one meets my criteria. I'm too old-fashioned for this modern world. Totally expect to die alone.
There are many women who like an old fashion guy. I've read profiles where they mention that in their search criteria. Don't give up on yourself Dave.. It could happen for you again when you least expect it.

Bradley's photo
Wed 11/02/22 10:22 AM
62 years and counting ...

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 11/02/22 12:52 PM

Yes, by choice, as no one meets my criteria. I'm too old-fashioned for this modern world. Totally expect to die alone.

Old-fashioned shouldn't be a dealbreaker so I guesstimate it's your criteria. That in itself sounds off-putting.
It's okay to have a bit of a list of things you hope to find but criteria is pushing it.
The difference might be subtle, but if your criteria & demands are all mental, from the head, you're setting yourself up for failure.
Love and relationships are visceral, feeling, living entities.

In the quizzes men make on that dating site that I've mentioned before I see a lot of such mental questions and criteria. It isn't inviting, not welcoming, and don't make a woman feel good.
Almost like when you tie your shoelaces in a way they don't like or hang up the bog roll the wrong way round men don't want you.
Those are just silly examples, but they show how men judge a women as suitable or not suitable.
There's no interest in the woman, the person, no feelings, nothing.

In essence it shows such men aren't in their own heart space but in their head. And that's not a good place to be if you want to find love.

Maybe that's not what your criteria are like, but if they are maybe try to shift into a more welcoming mindset and a softening of your criteria.

no photo
Wed 11/02/22 01:25 PM


Yes, by choice, as no one meets my criteria. I'm too old-fashioned for this modern world. Totally expect to die alone.

Old-fashioned shouldn't be a dealbreaker so I guesstimate it's your criteria. That in itself sounds off-putting.
It's okay to have a bit of a list of things you hope to find but criteria is pushing it.
The difference might be subtle, but if your criteria & demands are all mental, from the head, you're setting yourself up for failure.
Love and relationships are visceral, feeling, living entities.

In the quizzes men make on that dating site that I've mentioned before I see a lot of such mental questions and criteria. It isn't inviting, not welcoming, and don't make a woman feel good.
Almost like when you tie your shoelaces in a way they don't like or hang up the bog roll the wrong way round men don't want you.
Those are just silly examples, but they show how men judge a women as suitable or not suitable.
There's no interest in the woman, the person, no feelings, nothing.

In essence it shows such men aren't in their own heart space but in their head. And that's not a good place to be if you want to find love.

Maybe that's not what your criteria are like, but if they are maybe try to shift into a more welcoming mindset and a softening of your criteria.
Crystal, you hit the nail on the head. That has been something that I have needed to hear myself. I was laying in bed this morning thinking about all this and one thing struck me that I have read in womens profiles. You have to listen to what they say.. which not only gives you ideas on what they like etc but you can also find out things to talk about when your with a woman. Many guys run out of things to talk about, but by listening you can "feed" off what a woman is saying. I also think many guys talk about themselves too much, if a woman wants to know about you she will ask. Thank you Crystal.

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