Today is exactly the third year since we met when you found me in Chat Gum and asked me, "Is happiness enough?"  Then and now, my answer is still the same.  Happiness is enough.  I have never been so very happy in my life until I met you and I know I will never be as happy as those days when you used to be mine when your love was mine.


I don't know what I did or didn't do why I couldn't keep you, why I was not enough.  In my heart, I know that I did everything, every little thing to love you and care for you in spite of the great time and distance between us.  I believed in what we had, every moment of it - every single moment.  I made your success mine, your fears mine, your joys mine, your happiness mine, I made them all a part of me - the biggest part of me - then, now, and always - you are what my dreams are made of.


For every dream, there is a time to wake up.  For every gain, there is something we lose, for every happiness, there is always equal sadness.  For every joy, there is pain. For every hello, there is always a goodbye. You will always define every good and worst in me..  In this lifetime, I am so honored to meet you, love you, and loved by you.  I was blessed and lucky to have experienced true love once in my life and once is enough to last me a lifetime.


Every time, I would lose you, there is no measure of pain or tears that I cried and I will cry if only I could have you back in my life, the way it was before.  I always find and make excuses why I could not let you go or forget you or stop loving you when all the signs are clearly showing me, it is time to go.


I keep telling myself, I will let you go when I am strong enough when I would not miss you anymore when I can stop myself loving you - but who am I kidding?  I know they will never come - not soon enough at least.  I said my goodbyes to you - I attempted at least to let you go beginning of this year but every day since I keep wishing, I could go back, I could have you back if I could only plead the heavens and the universe to hear my pleas but they too wouldn't listen - or maybe, I am the one who is not listening, refusing to listen because I don't want to let go of you.  In the depths of my very soul, there is always the wish, the wanting, the needing to have you back... desperation that I would do anything and everything if only I could have you back.


You are lucky because a lot of things come easy for you.  You can pick someone to love anytime you want someone to love you and leave them when you feel it will no longer work for you.  A wise decision may be because what is the use of wasting time and effort and emotions if there is nothing there.  On the other side - the one who was left behind, their world is crashing down on them and all they could do is watch every little piece of their world break into pieces.  Cry, because there is nothing else they could do.


I thought reconnecting again would be a good choice.  Having a little piece of you then again, I am just adding more pain to my sufferings.  It is not your fault I am not like you who could just shrug my head and decide, it's long enough, it's time to move on.  Every little thing we shared, they are etched in my memories, embedded in my heart, I don't know for how long.


Would I ever learn to let go and accept, that our time is up - a long, long time ago?  it would be a lie if I would say, I can let you go.  My fear before when I was your girl, was you finding someone new to love - knowing you have another love, it hurts more than what I can imagine.  When I love you, it was indescribable, and so is the pain now...  I know I do not have the right to be jealous or to be hurt because I had my chance, I owned a piece of you before when I was your girl.  I had a chance with you, you made me so very happy and now I just have to accept that it is someone else's time to experience love in a different dimension.


I wish for your new girl to feel the same happiness I felt when I had you - when I soared beyond the heavens.  I wish for her to feel the same kind of love you made me feel - so beautiful, one of a kind.  I wish for her to be as proud as I was for every triumph and success you have.  May she laugh as much as I did for every funny story and joke you tell.  I wish she would love you more, much more than I could give and ever made you feel.


I love you, David, then, now, and always.  and yes, I have a weekend plan...  Today, as I celebrate the third year of our first hello... I will also give you my last goodbye.  I sincerely and truly wish you happiness, love, contentment, and everything that your heart wishes and desires.  It was an honor, my privilege, my luck, my blessing to meet you, love you, and be loved by you.  Please take care of yourself always.  I will always pray for your safety.  Please be the happiest man my loves...  I love you so, so, so, very, very, very much!

NICE

thank you!

Nice write .

thank you!