Some of my quiet moments, when i think about a future after all the chaos in my life have subsided. That future when i no longer need to work and just enjoy retirement... or just times when i would be able to afford to live in different countries a couple or three months each year, there are still moments when i would dream of not having to do it alone.

Sometimes, i miss a company, sometimes i feel tired of being alone. Sometimes, i miss going for a long drive but not sitting on the driver's side but on a passenger seat, someone holding my hands and cuddling, i miss them. I even miss fighting over nothing.

Some quiet moments, i am picturing myself sitting on a sit in an airplane, not alone. Going to places i have never been. In a hotel room - grand or simple but not alone. Eating out at restaurants, trying new dishes from different countries, again not alone.

All these i pictured doing them all with you... but that was a while ago. I keep reminding myself of our reality. There's a limit to what i can only have with you, i wish there is none...

An ex boyfriend had told me few times he doesnt want to grow old alone. He asked me few times to just be with him and we could grow old together...

In some deep corners of my heart, there is that dream of not wanting to grow and die alone so his offer makes sense in little ways but when i really think about it... it would be much worse than living, growing, and dying alone... because i know that every time i would look at him, talk to him, touch him, travel with him, share every little thing with him, in the deepest corner of my mind, my heart, and in my soul, i would always wish it is someone else instead and that is you.

As i get to know you, i get used to think only of reality and not fill my head anymore with dreams and fantasies, although sometimes i let myself get drowned with them only for a moment of happiness being dillusional.

My love for you is real. There is nothing in this world i would not give or trade just to be near you, be so close to you, spend the rest of my life with you... but these i know are not your reality. You love your independence, you are used to it, you love your freedom, i learned to accept that and learned to adjust to them and still feel grateful and thankful that somehow, some ways, you made a little space in your life to fit me in and i would not ask for more. A little of you goes a long, long way... enough to cover my whole universe.

I love you unconditionally, without limits... boundless. I love you beyond every definition of love itself.

Nice .

Nice piece