A man is about to go out to the pub and his wife is none too pleased as he always gets drunk when he goes out.

So she warns him "If you get drunk and puke all over yourself one more time I'm leaving you - you have been warned!"

So he assures her he will behave and only have 2 or 3 beers and come home.

So, 10 beers later he is sick all down his front.

He panics and says to his friend - "Oh **** - I can't go home now, my wife is going to leave me"

His friend says "Don't worry - I have a plan. Put a £20 note in the iside pocket of your jacket. When you get home you tell your wife that some one else was sick all over you and they gave you £20 to pay for the dry cleaning bill"

OK I'll try it....


So he gets home and his wife is waiting for him....

"That's it I warned you. I'm leaving you!"

"No, no no" says the husband, "There's no need to leave me my love. It wasn't me. Some bloke was sick down me and he gave me £20 to pay for the dry cleaning bill. Look here!"
With that he reaches into his pocket and produces TWO £20 notes.

"So why have you got £40 in your pocket?" askes the wife.

"Oh, don't worry love, the other £20 is from the man who shat my pants!"