I was in your same shoes once with my last 2 ex bf's. One is the father
of my kids (J) who I was with for 8 yrs and the other (P) for a lil over
a yr.

I broke it off with P to try and work it out with J. I told him I needed
time to see if there was still anything there worth saving since
afterall he is the father of my kids and well I believed I owed it to
him.....trying. Anyway, P was alright with it but not, obviously. Who is
right? But he let me go. I told him to not hang on and to go out and do
his thing. He didn't want to because he said he knew I was the one he
wanted to be with. Believe me, it hurt doing that but I had to. Well
things didn't work out with J and not like I was begging for P to take
me back but when he heard that things didn't work out with J, he came
back.

Was it love? Hell I thought so but we aren't together now so who knows.
I always tell myself that if it's true love, we'll find each other
again. Until then, do your thing.

I don't think I would try and make her jealous or anything. But I would
give her space.

I would give myself a time frame. Be reasonable about it also. If in
that time she does not contact you, I would move on. If after you move
on and she comes back. I would sit down with her and let her know that
your feelings and your heart are not hers to play with. Its all or
nothing.

I do believe you do need to let her find out if her marriage is over. If
you truely love her, that would not be an issue.

All my best
T

my point was talk with her to see where you stand with her,
if she is still wanting you,do it...
but if she still wants her ex,
split to love another of your own...........M.

TRUST ME....KICK THE PLAYER TO THE CURB! You will only get a broken
heart, worse, later!

If she wasn't divorced and has since been seeing her husband it sound
like she never emotionally checked out of the relationship. The fact
that she wants to date both of you doesn't sound like she loves you as
much as you love her. You can hurt now or hurt later. I say hurt now.
Move on. Someone should want all of you, not just part of you.

Not much I can tell you but everyone else has. So If I were you I would
listen to what some of them said and take what works for you. But if it
was me, the min that I found out she was dating someone else I would of
said latter. I don't like to play who the better man. IL show you who
the better man is. C-YA

How long are you willing to wait before you find out that she's playing?
I hope your heart is strong enough.

She either wants you, or she doesn't. Find someone that's wants to be
with you NOW, you never know if there's a tomorrow.

Thank you all for your advice and yes I have talked to her about this!
I have decided to still have the sex with her until I find someone
else!! She wants the sex and friendship until she decides if she wants
her ex back! I am the dumbass that told her not to throw away 22 years
of marriage!!! I wish I had kept my mouth shut but my marriage was
ruined that way and I couldn't live with myself knowing that I broke up
a marriage!!! I am heartbroken and will be for a long time but I will
find someone. Anyone out there willing to meet a great guy for some
fun????If so let me know where you are and I will get back to you!!!

poppakelso sorry to hear that but if she was meant to be with him and
they have children together then maybe it's for the best, you will find
a special woman, I have dated a few nice ladies and the last one I
thought I was gonna marry but shit happens. I don't look very hard but
then again raising 3 kids and working doesn't leave much time. One day
she will fall right into my lap :)

You're right and I have a woman who wants to meet me!! I met her
right after I met shelia and we have kept in touch!! I am better now and
will be with shelia until I find a place to move to. I hope this new
woman works out for me I need a woman in my life just to feel secure
about myself!I have been divorced form 3 years without so much as phone
sex until I met shelia and I do know that this new woman is looking for
a relationship!!! She has sent me poems and picture comments on my space
and I am greatful and happy to have met her!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR
ADVICE!!!!

hey heres a question - would she wait and allow you to do the same if
the tables were turned?

well speaking just for me,no chance of me getting back with my
ex,,,don't want her,,,she wanted 3 or 4 in the bdroom...
not for me,too much like sword fighting for me>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

This is why you don't do anything but Screw around with someone that is
Seperated!

Someone that was married (in a decent relationship) always has an
illussion in the back of their mind of what "use to be" and they'll
always feel if they both try they can get it back.

Now you're going out with a Married woman that is also seeing her
Husband, at what point do you consider yourself going out with a
"Married" woman? Do you even care that your now seeing a Married woman?

I been there with a guy I thought loved me but find out different he
went back to his wife for I got tired of him bounce back from me to her
I'm way too special and smart to get fucking around with another person
man I can find my own single smart very good guy in bed don't you think
,but to you poppakelso48 just follow your heart:) It'll usually stir you
right:)

sounds like the same thing i went thru with a gal i met on a dateing
site last year!.. lol!... is she from west virgina???

I am hurting but I did meet someone else on my space and we are
getting together for the holidays!!! I am moving on and I am hurting now
but better now than later. Thank you all so much I will keep in
touch!!!!

Well good for you poppakelso show her you can do way better then having
her jerking you around. Good luck with this new friend of yours:)

Hey poppa.Here is some advice you can take it or leave it.I just got out
of a relationship where it started the same way.She could come over to
my place screw my brains out then go back to her husband.She told me she
loved me and not him she was just with him for the kids.When she left
him she said that I was her "soulmate".That was a bunch of crap.About a
year into it she was always making excuses for where she was.And she was
always sick and then the sex slowed way down.She said I wasnt the
rebound cuz I was living with someone with intentions to leave.When I
left the one I lived with the married one said she needed her space.I
soon started seeing someone else.Then she decided that she was wrong and
wanted me to live with her.Boy that was dumb.As soon as I moved in she
started haveing alot of phone calls where she walked out of the room.I
asked her who it was she said her mom or dad.Turns out there was some
"other guy".And the other guy knew aboutme women who cheat will always
have another guy.Another thing I learned was quit the first relationship
before starting another.Stay faithful till you leave the one you are
with.My advice is leave her before you get hurt more.The love only grows
stronger and the harder it is to leave.I never cheated on her but I am
glad I didnt cuz then I could have hurt someone badly like Iwas hurt.But
one other thing is that if you want to date other women just date one at
a time it only makes things worst.This was the first time I was involved
in something like that and boy did I learn alot.I will never do that
again.Like I said take it or leave it.Best of luck to you.

here's something else to ponder..........................Over 50% of ALL
divorced and /or separated couples wind up reconciling at one point or
another.............don't know what it's worth but tis fact.