I went for a pint with my cousin.

He hates bad language.

We sat beside a group of loud mouthed drunk young lads.

One of the lads was describing an event that had taken place in his presence.

He said, "Me and my mates were in the forest park, having a naked swim in the pond. Charlie was on the bankside and decided to do a bomb jump into the water. That's where you jump and hold your knees, hitting the water with a big splash. Someone had thrown a wooden dining chair into the pond and it was floating just below the surface. Well, Charlie landed on this chair and the leg went up his a$$hole."

At this, my outraged cousin turned to the speaker and said, "Rectum".

At which the speaker replied, "Wrecked him? It nearly f^$£&*"g killed him."

Funny .