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Topic: compromise or common ground??!
Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 02:18 PM
I'm seeing a man now and he wants to date but I told him, we not on the Same page, so NO.

We can remain in the friends zone, until he decides to Leave out.

:smile:

That's bad being on the friend's zone as well as putting someone on the friend's zone.... If you aren't attracted to someone or have the same rapport... then it is best to cut your losses

Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 02:20 PM
The truth is we all compromise. Nobody is a perfect fit IMO. I do understand what you are saying though.... now.
So perhaps the less we need to compromise, the happier we will be?
Welcome to the forums :grinning:

most people compromise as well as most people find common ground....not all people compromise because they asked themselves is it worth it.

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 02/15/21 02:25 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 02/15/21 02:27 PM

I'm seeing a man now and he wants to date but I told him, we not on the Same page, so NO.

We can remain in the friends zone, until he decides to Leave out.

:smile:

That's bad being on the friend's zone as well as putting someone on the friend's zone.... If you aren't attracted to someone or have the same rapport... then it is best to cut your losses



It's best to be truthful with him, then let him choose to leave or remain associates, until he finds someone.


Many women have preferences for a relationship. Best to find out who the man is Before you get in any relationship. Imo


I'm open for dating until then.

Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 02:31 PM
It's best to be truthful with him, then let him choose to leave or remain associates, until he finds someone.


Many women have preferences for a relationship. Best to find out who the man is Before you get in any relationship. Imo


I'm open for dating until then.

but you don't want to string the person along so he can try to change your mind.. yes many women has preferences... but so do men

Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 02:32 PM
It's best to be truthful with him, then let him choose to leave or remain associates, until he finds someone.


Many women have preferences for a relationship. Best to find out who the man is Before you get in any relationship. Imo


I'm open for dating until then.

what are you looking for

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 02/15/21 03:09 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 02/15/21 03:37 PM

It's best to be truthful with him, then let him choose to leave or remain associates, until he finds someone.


Many women have preferences for a relationship. Best to find out who the man is Before you get in any relationship. Imo


I'm open for dating until then.

but you don't want to string the person along so he can try to change your mind.. yes many women has preferences... but so do men



If you have conversations and honestly it's not stringing him along.

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 02/15/21 03:11 PM




I'm open for dating until then.

what are you looking for




I'll keep that too myself. I'll know when I meet him.

Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 03:11 PM
If you have conversations and honestly it's not string him along.

true... but if your feelings about him don't change and him as well.... then it's stringing him along until one of you change your minds

Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 03:11 PM
I'll keep that too myself. I'll know when I meet him.

i respect that

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 02/15/21 03:52 PM

Sort of. Compromising is BOTH sides giving up something(s) they desire for a common cause. I don't even think OP means compromise. I believe he is referring to sacrifice which is obviously just one side giving something up with no quid pro quo. That can be negative and painful.


ETA: Neither side might is usually particularly happy with a compromise, and the common cause is typically trying to avoid a bad outcome as opposed to being happy.
I suppose the crux is finding something you both can live with rather than "common ground." The differences will still be there, however.

That's exactly what I'm saying

It is indeed what you're saying and thinking and also the reason why you are resistant about it.
However, even if someone were to be 100% on the same page as you -which is very unlikely- you may and likely will still have to compromise here and there in order to make it work.
And that includes both wanting it, not only one and the other suffering.

Have you experience in the arena of relationships? Or maybe hurt in the past hence having this wrong view.

First compromise you make when getting together is giving up your single status. BOTH have to choose to do this.
Both might have to compromise when they want to move in together. There will be compromise when getting furniture for a house.
There may be compromise when choosing a baby's name. My husband and I had to. He didn't like the names I came up with for our 2nd.
Oh my, what a problem! Lol.

And so on and so forth.
Compromise IS the way to find common ground. It's not a sacrifice, it's finding a way that both are happy with ---> common ground.

Erick's photo
Mon 02/15/21 04:37 PM
It is indeed what you're saying and thinking and also the reason why you are resistant about it.
However, even if someone were to be 100% on the same page as you -which is very unlikely- you may and likely will still have to compromise here and there in order to make it work.
And that includes both wanting it, not only one and the other suffering.

Have you experience in the arena of relationships? Or maybe hurt in the past hence having this wrong view.

First compromise you make when getting together is giving up your single status. BOTH have to choose to do this.
Both might have to compromise when they want to move in together. There will be compromise when getting furniture for a house.
There may be compromise when choosing a baby's name. My husband and I had to. He didn't like the names I came up with for our 2nd.
Oh my, what a problem! Lol.

And so on and so forth.
Compromise IS the way to find common ground. It's not a sacrifice, it's finding a way that both are happy with ---> common ground.

everybody experience bad relationships as well as being hurt but this isnt the topic.. there is a difference between being resistant and disagreeing someone's view...to me common ground is when someone agrees with one thing.... compromise is another definition...meaning sacrifice so those two words aren't the same thing

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